Romace Can Be Imperfectly Perfect

HelloRomance speaks volumes in the form of focusing your total attention on your sweetheart, for a few minutes or hours, even when there’s something else you’d rather be doing.

For love to grow, the two of you need to communicate. The sounds, smells, sights, and touches that are the main ingredients of your love. They must somehow be pressed back and forth between the two of you and romance is the medium for this transferal.

Love that is accompanied by the words “I’m sorry” will never be rejected as long as they know you mean it. Love in the form of focusing your total attention on her for a few minutes or a few hours, even when there’s something else you’d rather be doing, will speak volumes.

Romance needs to be nestled in your cocoon of romance. Sometimes it’s easy to become confused about romance and think it can be bought. While money does help to create atmosphere, romance it’s self doesn’t have a price tag attached to it, nor is it required to be wrapped in a box from Tiffany’s.

It just needs to be a significant part of you: a thought, a block of time, your sympathetic ear, your warm arms holding her, the touch of you rubbing her back, the flutter of your kiss. Your smile, a hug from you, a sweet hello, you telling her that she looks pretty today, giving her a gift without any other motive other than to let her know that you are thinking about her and of course making a dinner date for just the two of you and don’t forget every girl needs a girls night out so another way to say I love you is to baby sit so she can have some time to herself.

 

“A Little Bit Of Love”

A Country Girls WeddingAlways remember I love you in February, April, and May; in December and all through the winter. In spring, and through long hot summer days. Always remember I love you, and when I am far away. . . know that you are close to my heart and from the start no one could take your place. I am so happy to have found you and to spend my days walking along with you. Knowing you are always there for me reminds of just how much you mean to me too.

I’m a little bit more in love with you each morning when I wake up. I’m  little bit more in love with you every time you say my name. I’m a little bit more in love with you every  time you walk into the room. I’m a little bit more in love with you everyday. I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow. I love you in good times an I’ll love you in sorrow. I’ll take you just the way you are or any way you choose to be because I love you.

The day you came into my life . . . the sun shone brighter, the flowers opened wider, the stars spun in the sky and my heart was happy. Thank you for believing in me when I pushed you away.Thank you for taking the time to  help me find my way. Thank  you for standing beside me. Thank you for each day you were there for me. Thank you for riding through the rough waters of change with me and holding my hand but most of all thank you for loving me.

“Romance After The Honeymoon”

Making MemoriesRomance is the champagne and frosted glasses of love, the magic that gives love a tango dance to, a fragrance  to remember, and a fantasy-come-true to hold in your heart.

Romance is the antidote to ordinariness, the inspiration for passion; whenever you fold it into your relationship, you instantly elevate it to a more delicious state of being.

Romanced, you feel beautiful or handsome; life becomes ripe with hope; the moon, stars,and planets bathe you in a cascade of beneficent light; and you believe that everything is possible—-your sweetest, wildest, and most cherished dreams will certainly come true. At least that’s certainly how we feel in the rosy blush of new romance. But the feeling of romance doesn’t just stick around all by itself. As time goes on, it takes effort , ingenuity, intuition, and sometimes even a willingness to feel foolish, to keep the moonlight magical. 

That’s because somewhere along the line, without quite paying attention, we stop doing the things that kindled romance in the first place: we forget to bring the long-stemmed roses and to whisper the sweet nothings: we leave the lights on (or off), we trade in the black lingerie for flannel pajamas. In short, we start treating one another as roommates instead of passionate lovers.

But we can still have romance in our lives, no matter how we’ve been together. Chill the glasses. Remember the roses. Install a new dimmer, light the candles, and forget about the candle drip-dripping on the table. Play the song you first heard on your honeymoon. Dress the bed in red sheets. Drive up the hill to watch the sunset and kiss (and kiss) in the car.

Every so often, Dave plays a romantic SOS trick on his wife Stella. He calls her up from somewhere, says he’s having trouble with his car, and asks if she can please come pick him up. When she arrives, it turns out he’s fully wrapped a present it might be a  dress or a sexy new night-gown.He checks them into a room and orders dinner from room service. After dinner, they go dancing and then make passionate love. Needless to say, Stella is ecstatic every time.

When it comes to kindling romance, you have to be willing to be creative, even if at first you feel shy or embarrassed. Remember, you weren’t embarrassed by all those love notes and love songs when you were falling in love. The art of romance takes practice. The more you allow yourself to stretch the limits of what feels comfortable to you. (And if you’re the receiver of these endeavors to enchant, be sure to respond with appreciation.  If you do you will definitely increase the romance quotient in your life.

So whatever your particular romantic preferences may be, be sure to indulge them as much as you can.Don’t let opportunities slip through the cracks. Like the relationship it will embellish, romance is a very special art form whose greatest reward is the joy if true passion.

A Letter To Mom

There is a little girl in all of usDear Mom, Now that I have children and grandchildren of my own, I’m beginning to realize what a challenge it is to find the balance between encouraging them to continually strive to do better and instilling confidence in them and letting  them know that I’m happy with their best efforts.

I’d like to know your secret, because you’ve always seemed to know just how to do that with me.In school, of course you wanted me to make straight A’s, but if I’d truly done my best and gotten a B or a C, I didn’t have to be afraid  to tell you. You let me know that you wanted my best, not perfection.

Even though I wasn’t the best athlete, no one in the bleachers looked prouder than you, and knowing that pushed to keep trying and improving. Thank you, Mom for being my inspiration. Love, your child.

Why I’m thankful you were my mom…

 You never tired of practicing words with me the night before the spelling bee.You comforted me when things went wrong.You ran to help me when I fell and told me funny stories to ease my pain.You wiped away my tears, held me close, and loved me. In your arms there was shelter from the storms of life, peace when my heart was troubled; joy when the day was dark.

Your love never failed me.You forgave me when I messed up.You patiently cleaned up the many spilled glasses of milk with only a gently reminder to be more careful the next time.You listened as if I was the only person in the world.You inspired me to do my best.You taught me about God’s love.You made our house a home.You always believed in me.You cheered me on even when no one else thought I stood a chance, you always cheered me on!

Mom,If I had a flower for every time I have thought of you, I could walk in our garden forever.I know other beautiful things in life come in twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds.There are plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters,aunts and cousins, comrades and friends. . . but I only had one mother in the whole world.

 

What’s On Your Wish List?

How many times have you started a sentence with the words “In my lifetime, I want to…”?

Perhaps what you wanted was something grand, like winning a medal for bravery. Maybe it was something modest, even mundane like a wish to clean out your car or to climb a tree.

Maybe you wished for something fantastic like having your own cooking show on HGTV, for example. Or something utterly practical, like making a budget and sticking to it.

Your wish might have taken you to the other side of the world or as far away as the moon, or it might have meant just a walk around the corner. Maybe you wished to do something generous, or something just for you.

What happened to all those wishes? Where did they go? Wishing is good for us. Daydreams, fantasies, castles in the air, and aspirations all drive us forward, impel us to make things happen. They also tell us a lot about ourselves. Our wishes came straight from our core, and they are loaded with vital information about who we are and who we can become.

Keeping track of our wishes helps us tap into the energy that propels us to go after our happiness. That’s what a wish list can do for you. It is to serve as a wellspring of ideas for things to do, have, see, taste, experience, achieve, give, be, learn, do for others, or try just once.

Complete this sentence: “In this lifetime, I want to …” Your collection should range from small, easily realizable goals to grandiose pipe dreams and everything in between. It works for ages 10 to 100. In fact wish lists looks like our own hopes and dreams.

Your wish list is not meant to be solely revelation it is meant to be used as your very personal “to do list for life.” Carry your wish list with you and when your creative daydreaming starts, scribble your own wishes on the blank lines. Check off or underline those wishes you want for yourself.

When you’ve achieved a wish, celebrate the fact by checking it off with a big red X next to it. As years go by and the wish list’s pages become dog-eared and yellow, you will have accumulated a profile of your changing view of happiness, your own evolving values, and your own fulfillment, Not a bad thing to have.

Here is a short list of wishes that might help you start your own list.

  • Try everything that is good once.
  • Witness an event that turns out to be a major historical occurrence.
  • Have a positive effect on people
  • Smell Florida’s night-blooming jasmine.
  • Be surprised by your children.
  • Live in a California beach house with the ocean for your front yard.
  • Attend a vintage motorcycle rally.
  • Coin a phrase.
  • Sing a song that your niece writes.
  • Dance at your grandson’s wedding.
  • Take underwater photographs.
  • Write the lyrics to a passionate love song for your husband / wife.

Summer at a villa in Tuscany. Lean to draw. Skinny-dip under a waterfall. Volunteer at the local soup kitchen. See a mountain gorilla in the wild. Meet your favorite motivational speaker. Work for someone you’ve always admired. Write a love poem.  Start your own blog. Watch the sun set over your favorite locations. Solve a mystery. Take the road less traveled. Your wish list is calling you, now get out there and start living.

Matchmaker- Matchmaker

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch. Matchmaker, Matchmaker, look through your book, and make me a perfect match. Matchmaker, Matchmaker, I’ll bring the veil, you bring the groom, slender and pale.

Bring me a ring for I’m longing to be the envy of all I see. For Papa make him a scholar. For mama, make him rich as a king. For me, well, I wouldn’t holler if he were as handsome as anything.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a  match, find me a find, catch me a catch. Night after night in the dark, I’m alone so find me a match of my own. I promise you’ll be happy, and even if you’re not, there’s more to life than that…Don’t ask me what?

This matchmaker story is true and is about a man named  Paul and a woman named Karen he lived in New York and she lived in San Francisco, Ca.They met while Paul was attending a family reunion in San Francisco and he asked his cousin Hedy and her fiance’ Jack if they would call some friends who might be willing to go out on a date with him. They went to work, calling various women fortunately, Karen called them back. Hedy’s nick has been  Matchmaker, Matchmaker ever since her  collage years because she matched up more than fifteen couples which she never lets anyone forget about. Hello Dolly has nothing on her that is for sure.

Karen was sitting at the restaurant with Paul’s cousins, and she thought, he’s pretty good-looking. They started talking and Karen noticed Paul was one of the happiest people she had ever come across. And when he would talk about things that he had done and things that you wanted to do, it sounded incredibly appealing, like it would just be a fun life with him.

By the end of the evening  Karen handed him her business card, and He said, he would keep in touch. He called her from his family reunion and asked her if she would allow him to take her to dinner, and then would she take him to the airport? They continued their conversation on the pay phone rather enthusiastically for two hours and Paul’s cousins wondered why Paul wasn’t paying any attention to them or anyone else in  the rest of the family.

They had a great dinner, and then Karen took him to the airport. She saw him off, no peck on the cheek, nothing like that. While Paul was getting on the airplane he was thinking, this could be interesting. He spent the whole time on the plane writing a letter to her and when the plane landed instead of going to pick up his luggage he found a mail box and sent the letter. And come to find out that she had been up all night writing a letter to him and mailed it first thing in the morning. Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a perfect match!

Karen was really resisting having any feelings of liking him, because she lived in San Francisco and he lived in New York, which was extremely far away. She had never been there. And she had a nice career going, She owned her own home in San Francisco. She had a whole life in California, so why even get into any kind of entanglement with a man who lived so far away? It just seemed crazy. But then, obviously, She really like him.

They wrote each other a lot. They built up a lot of intimacy with all that communicating. It’s was like an essay every single day about a new topic. They wrote about everything. Paul said, a lot happened in those letters and he couldn’t help but be somewhat flirtation, just because it was kind of fun and innocent enough. Karen said, he was plenty flirtatious, but never made a pass at her.

Soon they were spending  hundreds of dollars a month on phone bills, flying back and forth, so they decided to cut to the chase about things. The catalyst for them was when Karen’s mom died in a car accident suddenly and it forced Paul to figure out whether he should be apart of this kind of …sadness. He hadn’t met her family and they were still in a new relationship. Paul thought it over and decided he wanted to be with Karen.

Karen asked her dad if he was up to meeting Paul and he said, yes.  He made a welcoming sign for Paul and made Paul feel welcomed and comfortable.  Karens dad was warm and kind to Paul even though he had just lost his wife and was very, very, very sad. Paul always admired Karens dad for his strength and making that sign for him. It was a tough time, but it built strength between them.

A few months later Karen was at work, and her colleague, said, “Oh, we forgot to tell you: we have to go across campus to see the new dean at the chapel.” So they were kind of jogging across campus, because they were late, and as they walked into the sanctuary she noticed some violin music. It wasn’t until she was pretty far into the church that she realized that it was Paul, and that he was playing the Winter Movement from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. There was an older couple sitting in the front pews, just in rapt attention, listening to him.

Karen didn’t know what was going on: Why was Paul doing this performance in the church? And then Karen kind of got an inkling when Paul finished he went over to her and asked her if she would marry him. She said, yes. It was incredibly romantic and incredibly surprising.

One of things that Karen said to Paul during their vows at the wedding was that she looked forward to seeing his happy face every morning and she still does. Paul still thinks Karen is all he imaged she would be except more of it. She is smart. She is generous and most of all she is just lots of fun to be around. They are very grateful to Hedy and Jack for matching them up.

Writing Is A Process Like Aging

If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening. When I was in my twenties I belonged to a writers group. We would meet every other Wednesday and share our short stories, plays, mysteries and memoirs. Needless to say we did a lot of talking and listening. As with any group of women, our conversations ranged from what our children were doing to what was going on in the White House.

Every word spoken was important to us. One day, the conversation centered on their litany of complaints over getting older. One woman described her hot flashes in great detail and told us how in the middle of night she got out of bed and took a cold shower to calm her night sweats.

 I was a new mother and all I could think about was how many dirty diapers I had changed and was suffering from all those sleepless nights. Needless to say, I remained silent, while sipping a cup of tea as the rest of the women shared their complaints about aging. I started to wonder if I was in a writers group or having lunch with my mother and her girlfriends.

Finally the group returned to the business at hand which was to decide if we should start to critique each others writings. A few of us decided that it would be helpful to have someone critique our latest writings. After that there were frequent red marks all over our pages. To make the process easier to take, we started each critique with what was good about the piece. Then with the writer basking in the glow of hearing how skillful her writing was, the not so positive stuff could be discussed. Many of the women went on to become succesful published authors.

 The good stuff doesn’t just apply to critiquing writers it also applies to aging. Now many years later most of my friends are helping take care of their parents. They are dealing with problems about aging, fading memories, fatal illnesses, scams to cheat the trusting. At times they become overwhelmed. 

It’s time to start thinking about what we gain from getting older, not what we lose. When we start to appreciate all the good stuff that we have and can do, we become happier people. Like a new sense of time. Like times when we were perusing an education or a career or raising our kids, we always looked ahead to each new stage.

 It may have been when our babies would crawl, talk, walk, feed themselves, get out of diapers, get into school. Maybe it was when you finished collage and received your collage degree or when you were in pursuit of fulfilling your career goals.

 All of those situations require looking ahead to the good stuff. Getting older doesn’t have to mean that you can’t look forward to having good stuff in your life. It means you have to think out of the box and move out of a few comfort zones. You can do it!

Now we know how fast the chipmunk-cheeked face of the nursing baby sharpens into the schoolgirls’ studious look. Don’t we? And we realize that, with each change, how special our time is and how fast it all disappears, too. Writing, like life, is not a goal but a process. And, as in life, it is easy to give up.

 The excuses are legion. It’s too difficult to write; the storyline isn’t working; I don’t know where it’s taking me. But if we don’t trust the possibility that it will all work out, we’ll never get it written. And if those who read our work don’t look for possibilities, their doubts can discourage us from finishing it. So, we look for the possibilities of each idea, each piece of work.

Growing older in our society isn’t easy. The emphasis on staying young no matter what it takes or costs is strong. It’s sometimes hard to find the up side of getting old. But as mature women we have endless possibilities, from the sublime to the silly: never wearing panty hose again; wearing big, dangling rhinestone earings with jeans; eating dessert first or eating dessert only; going back to graduate school for the sheer joy of learning; taking up glass blowing or skydiving.

We can do what we want. It’s all possible. The process of writing is like aging they are both full of possibilities. The longer we live, the more we know about hurts and sadness in our own lives and in the world. But we know more too, with a recounting of what went right in our lives. As we have aged we have learned that each time we leave those we care about, we can leave them a positive word, a gift of good stuff, until we see them again. Life and writing are full of possibilities aren’t they?

Make Every Day You’re In Love Memorable

When you’re in love, every day should be considered, memorable. Every good-morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle. As the years of your couplehood fly by, you accumulate a house full of furniture, an attic full of old clothes, a heart full of children, a garage full of treasured junk, and one mind, shared by two people full of golden memories. You’re not conscious of making memories. A walk down the aisle, a period of tropical bliss, a toddler’s first steps, and a family vacation may stand out, but the majority of your precious minutes together on earth are not so easily held onto.

 Can you possibly remember every shared moment? Of course not. But while so many thousands of events can’t possibly  stick out in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like they will. Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together, by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you when they’re occurring.

 For instance don’t just kiss perfunctorily. Put more energy in your hugs. Look your partner in the eyes, and it when you say “I love you.” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot richer.

Love As A Garden

Communications have improved in so many ways. Pocket computers carry more power than could be imagined in older days. But all the electronic gizmos don’t help a romance at all, unless you’re communicating your love when you call.

Silence is like a vacuüm, drawing in all thoughts that go by. So protect your lover’s ears; be aware what your words imply. Choose your words carefully; think about what you say. Don’t fill the void with just anything, squawking like a joy.

Make sure your emotions aren’t trapped elsewhere. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care. Then love will sound like a trumpet and to your words impart the clarity of romance as you speak heart to heart.

Think of your love as a garden, and unless you tend to it, you’ll never reap the full rewards that love can bring. The ground need to be tilled with kindness, for if it is too hard, love’s seed can’t spout. The seeds have to be planted with care if they are to penetrate your lover’s heart.

Love needs to be watered with kind words and compliments, Love must bask under the warm sun of your undivided attention. The weeds of pettiness and lies must be pulled form the field of love. The fruits of love need time to grow and cannot be picked until they are ripe.  If you don’t put the required effort into your garden of love, you can certain that the weeds will invade and your garden will yield little in the way of love. But if you work at it, you’ll find a bumper crop of love waiting for you to harvest each and every day.

Be An Artist Of Love

Some days you may push love aside. Other times love may push you around. Just make certain in your heart and head that you are working in unison when creating your canvas of love.

Since you “fall” in love, many people treat love as if it were some strange best over which they have no control. But you have more say over your emotions than you think.

Put a sad movie in your DVD player and you’ll cry. Listen or dance to your favorite song on your iPod and your spirits will pick up. You can have a similar effect on the setting of your love dial. While love can be overwhelming at times, or so subtle you can’t tell it’s there, that doesn’t absolve you from honing your skills as a lover. The best lovers have the most control, not least. Even if you’re head over heels in love, you should keep some control, or you risk driving away the person you adore. There are times to go overboard and other times to bank that excess love.

And at the other extreme, if your schedule is crammed twenty-fours a  day, you can’t forget that you have a partner who has needs that must be met. Sure, there are days when you can take out a loan that you promise to pay back in interest, but you can also overextend that type of credit and wind up bankrupt.

 A painter mixes colors to come up with various shades. You must do the same because even love can be boring if it becomes too monotone. So some days, even if you’re not feeling overly romantic, tune up the heat. Shout “I love you” across the room. Put a little more oomph into that hug. Not only will your partner appreciate your use of the brighter colors in your palette, but will probably change your mood as well. You don’t need special skills to learn to be an artist of love. You just need to always be aware that you are a lover at heart.

It’s The Little Things That Count

It’s the little things you do each day that will keep your love strong. Grand gestures are fun. They can make the heart soar. But if they only happen once or twice a year, What’s the fun in that? Little gestures are not as splashy. They may even go unnoticed. But if it weren’t for the raindrops, the oceans would soon be empty. So let your drops of love rain down. When people lose a partner whom they’ve loved dearly, it’s not the grand gestures that they miss, it’s  the little things. It’s the nightly cup of tea. It’s checking that the front door is locked. It’s flowers in the vase. It’s drying the dishes. It’s holding hands.

The little things are like the nails that hold a house together. You don’t see them, but they’re doing their work. And like nails, the little things don’t insert themselves without some help. Each one may not take a lot of energy, but if put enough energy into the little things, over time you’ll build a great big love. You’ve been taught to say “Thank You” for presents, but do you acknowledge the little presents your spouse gives you every day? You can never say “Thank You” too many times, though most people don’t say it enough. Do they?

Every Day Is Memorable

Make every day you’re in love memorable. When you’re in love every day should be considered memorable: every good morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle.

As the years of your couplehood fly by, you accumulate a full house of furniture, an attic full of old clothes, a garage full of treasured junk, and one mind. Shared by two people, full of golden memories. You’re not conscious of making memories. A walk down the aisle, a period of tropical bliss, a toddler’s first steps, and a family vacation may stand out, but the majority of your precious minutes together on earth are not so easily held on to. Can you possibly remember every shared moment? Of course not.

But while so many thousands of events can’t possibly stick out in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like they will. Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together, by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you as they’re occurring.

 Don’t kiss perfunctorily put some love in it. Put more energy in your hugs and hold on to the ones you love a little longer. Look your partner in the eyes, and mean it when you say “I love you,” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot richer. Regardless if you are in love or not remember to treat the people in your life, with kindness, respect, and love.

When Eyes Meet

I love to read stories about how people met and fell in love. Most love stories start by telling us about the first time the characters eyes met.

The stories start with a glance. When a man and womans eyes meet from across the room or like in some of the 1940’s movies when man mets woman in a train station. Soon they communicate with words and then with their bodies but it was their eyes that made first contact. Eye contact is vital in every relationship isn’t it?  When spoken into space the words “I love you” lose half their meaning maybe even all of it. It’s when you say those words while looking into your partner’s eyes that they mean the most.

Our eyes can express feelings that words can’t. When your eyes say ” I missed you,” I adore you,” I’m angry with you,” or ” I trust you” your spouse knows how you really feel with or without words. And when you use your eyes with our words, they add an emphasis that can’t be missed.

So try to spend some time each day looking into each other’s eyes. You’ll be expressing yourselves in a way that words can’t duplicate. Tip: If your spouse can’t look into your eyes, there’s another type of message being communicated. Don’t ignore such a sign but try to get to the bottom of it. The earlier you spot trouble in a relationship and make repairs, the easier it will be. The story of life is quicker than a blink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye. ~ Jimi Hendrix

Dare To Do Things Differently

As we go through life, there are danger signs everywhere: red lights and stop signs,speed bumps and blinking lights, and circles with a red line piercing our hearts.

When it comes to relationships, visible warning signs are few and far between. Sometimes the greatest perils come tiptoeing in sight unseen, and one of the most lethal of these sneaky assassins of ardor is boredom.

Before it drains the power of your love, sweep that gray fog of boredom aside by adding energy. In the same way the warming rays of the sun dissipate a fog, energy can pierce the grayness of your love. All you have to do is: converse, move, run, jump, ski, walk, go. It doesn’t matter where or how. All that matters is that you do something. The more you do, the further away you’ll push boredom, and the stronger your love and friendship will be. Beware, too, that sometimes boredom wears a disguise. It’s called routine. Routines are very necessary in life, especially when there’s so much to do, but they have a serious side effect, which is boredom.

The key to using routines wisely is to break them regularly instead of doing the expected, do the unexpected. If you always eat dinner at five, then one night a week, eat at eight or nine or ten. Every once in a while use your fingers instead of your fork and knife. If the thought creeps into your head to throw a grape at your love then do it!

 If you pass by him or her and they are washing their hands at the sink pull their pants down to their knees.  (Not in front of the kids). Sleep on the other side of the bed once in a while. Slip a $20 to a homeless person. Wear something unexpected to bed. Drive the long way home. It doesn’t matter what it is that you do that’s different it only matters that you do different things regularly.