Create A Happy Heart

Posted in Chidren, Dreams, family, Life, relationships by Carol Medlock

Life is full of opportunities to create a happy heart. My mother use to say the most wasted of all days, is one with out laughter. She believed in positive thinking and that singing happy songs help to make for a happy heart.

She loved to dance, sing and laugh. When I was a young girl my mother had a happy song, dance, a funny joke or saying for every situation in life. I don’t mean that as a metaphor I mean it literally.

When life dealt her lemons she was the kind of mother who would make lemonade out of the lemons. She was a half glass full kind of mother. One of my favorite examples of my mothers positive attitude and keeping a happy heart took place when I was thirteen and my best friend Vicky was celebrating her birthday at Disneyland.

The day the invitation arrived I was ecstatic. As far as I was concerned there was nothing better than the E ticket rides at Disneyland. I had lots of E tickets from previous visits and I was full of expectations. The night before the big day all I did was talk, talk and talk about the rides. I don’t know how my mother kept her wits about her while she listened to my excessive talking.

One of the songs my mother and I use sing and listen to was called ” You Talk To Much”. I remember she was singing the words to the song under her breath. I’m sure she was hoping that I would get a clue and stop talking but you know how thirteen year old girls are.

Finally when the big day arrived I woke up and my neck hurting when I told my mother she did everything she could to try to help stop the pain but nothing worked. I was broken-hearted when my mother told me to call my Vicky and let her know that I wouldn’t be able to go.

I hung up the phone and I realized that I was not going to be able to celebrate Vicky’s birthday. I wondered how was I ever going to get over being disappointed? The girls and I had mapped out and made a list of rides we were going to on and we saved our allowances so we could buy a present for Vick’s birthday.

I started crying and my mother tried to console me. She said maybe, if your neck starts feeling better she could drive you to meet up with Vicky and the girls later in the day. I said, sure mom that would be ok. When I finished my melt down I noticed that my mom had left the room and I became curious and went to find out what she was doing.

When I found her she had taken off her night-gown and had put on a funny dress, hat and fun music on her old RCA record player. At first when I saw her I thought to myself, how dare her be so happy when I was so sad. Then after listening to a few of her happy songs I started to sing and dance along with her. The next thing I knew. I wasn’t sad any more. The pain in my neck was gone but it was still stiff.

I’m glade that my mother applied a positive attitude to my situation and it did make for a merry heart. Life isn’t always about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

18May2012

To Realize The Value Of A Sister Or Brother

Posted in Babies, family, Family Values, Life, relationships by Carol Medlock

To realize the value of a sister or brother ask someone who doesn’t have one.

To realize the value of ten years ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realize the value of nine months ask a mother who gave birth to a still-born. To realize the value of one month ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one minute ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize the value of one-second ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special. To realize the value of a friend or family member ask someone who has lost a friend or family member.

20Jan2012

Working Women

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Life, Moms, relationships, Women by Carol Medlock

Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common they work in the same office, have the same duties and earn the same salary.

They both like movies and meet every friday night at the movie theater. So how can you tell which one is the grandmother?

Easy! The one who goes to the store on her lunch hour, calls to see if the baby vomited, and rushes to take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to her son because he forgot his lunch. She’s the mother.

The one in the darling little dress with matching accessories and is perfectly manicured, the one who sits and orders a salad and a glass of wine while unfolding those endless pictures of adorable kids, she’s the grandmother.

Can you see how nothing separates the generations like lunch? Mothers are the ones gobbling down their food, while checking their bank balance on their cell phones. They are the ones using their techie gadgets to keep track of all their responsibilities. Grandmothers are the ones who wait in line at the best restaurants for the best tables.

They care about staying away from fattening foods and sometimes they’ll order off the low-calorie menu or ask the chef to leave this and that off their plate. But on other days when they go for it, on days when they say, Why not? Let’s live a little,” and have things like crème brûlée for dessert with a liqueur. On those days they just breathe a little deeper and rush off to fancy gyms, where for the price of nursery school tuition, they roll back into shape with the help of their personal trainers.

Mothers on the other hand after splurging on a double helping of chocolate chipcookies get back in shape by following exercise videos at home. Grandmothers at lunch discuss the accomplishments of their children and what to buy their grandchildren. A mother’s idea of a relaxing lunch is to turn their cell phone off, drive through and order fast food and enjoy their me time. Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common except for how they spend their lunch hour. However Julie the grandmother, remembers how she spent her lunch hour when she was a young mom. She enjoys providing a listening ear for Elizabeth, just not at lunch.

11Jan2012

Mom Mania

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, relationships, Women by Carol Medlock

There is one thing that all mothers can agree on no matter what their job title, income, number of children, education, religion, or location: They want to raise kids who are happy, confident , and self-reliant through childhood to adulthood.

Sometimes stress and quilt brought on by the need to be the “Sacifical Mom” can end up interfering with their ability to achieve this goal. There’s good news for the “Sacifical Mom” she can get back on track by learning and applying these twelve steps. They are proven to help create kids who will live a happily ever after lives as adults.

Look at your child and try to picture him or her in twenty-five years as a grow-up. What do you see? Does your son or daughter have these twelve essential qualities:

Is he happy, optimistic, and secure? Does he have authentic self-esteem?
Is she in a healthy, loving relationships? Does she have good friends and loyal allies?
Does he have a strong moral compass? Does he have good values and strong character?
Does she have empathy and compassion for all people? Is she kind, unselfish, and humane?
Does he have self-control and patience? Can he delay gratification?
Is she able to make good decisions on her own?
Is he self-reliant?
Is she responsible and internally motivated? Does she have a good work ethic?
Is he practical and resourceful in handling day-to-day living?
Is she resilient? If life throws her a curve, can she bounce back?
Is he confident and positive about his identity and strengths?
Does she have fun? does she laugh? Is her life balanced between work and love, self and others?

Don’t forget to take into consideration that kids are born with a certain temperament and genetic predisposition. Certainly there are some things about children’s development that are not under their parents control but many are. Mothers can say good-by to their need to be on the “Sacrificial Motherhood Mania” bandwagon and be the real mothers they know they are, and raise kids who will not only survive but thrive without her. Remember you can’t teach what you don’t know!