“Wedding Bliss In A Shoe Box”

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, Family Values, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Weddings by Carol Medlock

Stella and Johnny spent their fiftieth wedding anniversary reminiscing about how amazing their wedding was. Stella said, it seemed like each flower bloomed on que and represented their love for each other, the candles were bright and dancing, the wedding party didn’t miss a step as the wedding march played.

It was a grand wedding and after the I do’s and good byes Stella’s, elderly grandmother Sadie, stopped Stella and reminded her of the two promises that Stella, had made to her when she announced her wedding plans. Stella,reassured Sadie,that she was looking forward to fulfilling her grandmothers requests.

The first request was that Stella and Johnny would spend their honeymoon in Niagara Falls, New York because it was family tradition. The second request was that Stella would always keep mad money in the shoe box on the shelf in her closet and that Johnny would never snoop in it. Sadie, gave her a decorated wedding shoe box that she called, her “wedding bliss box” and promised her grand-daughter that it would work.

After Johnny carried Stella across the threshold of their first home, she placed a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked him never to touch it. For fifty years Johnny left the box alone. But one day, while he was searching for the deed to their house, he spotted the box. Caving in to temptations, he opened it. To his surprise, he found two doilies and $75,000 in cash. He put the box back in the closet. Puzzled about what he had found, he confessed to Stella that he had opened the box and begged her to explain the contents.

“Grandma Sadie”, gave me her shoe box just as I was getting ready to walk down the aisle, to say my wedding vows,” Stella explained. “She told me to make a doily for every time I became mad at you and we would enjoy a long and happy marriage” Johnny was genuinely touched that in a half century, his wife had been mad at him only twice. ” So where did the $75.000 come from?” he asked.”Oh, replied Stella’s, “that’s the money I made from selling the rest of the doilies.” Stella, smiled and under her breath thanked her grandmother for the best advice a bride could receive.

2Mar2012

Saying Wedding Vows Wouldn’t Change Him

Posted in Brides, Dreams, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by Carol Medlock

A wedding is a wonderful day it’s a celebration of your love. It’s a tying of the knot it’s the making of two lives into one. It’s a contact for life.

But as wonderful as a wedding may be it does not posses supernatural powers .

The two people who get married are not going to be any different after they exchange wedding vows than they were before. That may seem obvious, yet it comes as a surprise to many people who believe that after they are married, they will be able to change their spouses into someone else.

Were it only so but it’s not people don’t change they may deviate from their norm a bit. They may say they’ll do better and they may make promises. They may give it the old college try but they won’t change. It’s not because they don’t want to it’s because they can’t. Some traits are just hard-wired into the brain. Some bodies won’t get smaller. Some people are so addicted that it takes them years to change and counting on such changes happening can lead to disappointment.

So instead of thinking of your wedding day as the day your spouse becomes someone new think of it as the day you finally accept your spouse just the way her or she already is. Don’t enter into marriage expecting to change your spouse into a hard worker, a neatnik, a good dresser, a blond, a nonsmoker, a saver, a spender, a size smaller, a teetotaler, a person who only eyes for you if he or she has been unfaithful to you before you say your wedding vows.

If you buy a compact car it won’t turn into a SUV overnight in your garage, no matter how much you try to wish it would. Don’t expect your new spouse to similarly transform just because her or she walked down the aisle with you.

When your partner makes a change because it pleases you, it is really one of the ultimate signs of love. But if you tell your partner that you’re going to stop smoking, for example, and then you can’t. You’ve put your relationship at risk as well your health. So don’t make rash promises in the name of love. It won’t make such promises any easier to keep, and it might make your life much tougher when you break them.

Don’t wait until you are blind-sided by sudden crises, tragedy or anger because the person you walked down the aisle with didn’t change. Don’t make promises you can’t keep make the changes before you walk down the aisle because the day you exchange vows doesn’t magical change your habits. Sometimes not exchanging vows until the two of you seek premarital counselling can prevent such crises.

So don’t make rash promises in the name of love you can’t keep it makes life much tougher when you break them. Just talk to anyone who has ever exchanged wedding vows with good intentions and thought love would change their issues. Good Luck…

21Feb2012

If You Swore To Love For Life Once Why Do It Again

Posted in Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Women by Carol Medlock

If you swore to love for life once why do it again? If you had to do it all over again would you could you? A promise is a promise right? If you swore to love for life once why do it again?

Your first response could be why not? What harm could it do? Is it the vow its self that is the question? Ah, there’s the rub.

You walked down the aisle together once and it was a great day; so great that it could never be repeated and the knot you tied that day became a gnarl of attachments: Kids, deeds, photo albums, possessions galore so how could you ever part?

Do you ever ask yourself if you had to do it all over again would you? That’s the question that begs answering when second or third wedding vows are on the horizon. If the answer is yes then sure say “I do, I do, I do.” If the answer is “I don’t know,” then don’t ignore this warning sign your feelings for each other will have changed over the years; that’s only natural. But would you describe those feelings as being love?

Even if you don’t hate each other do you love one another? I’m not saying that if you’re not at a point where you wouldn’t hesitate to renew your wedding vows that you should split apart. Only that maybe you shouldn’t ignore the state of your relationship. You and your partner might want to seek professional help about your relationship so that the next time you’re asked this question, you will both say yes.

A few years ago my Aunt and Uncle went on a Valentine’s Day Cruise along with eight hundred couples to renew their marriage vows. When the eight hundred couples were asked if they planned on renewing their wedding vows in the future they all said, “Yes.”

When the youngest couple in the group asked my aunt and uncle if renewing their wedding vows was their secret to their loving relationship? They said, it makes for a very romantic day but they believed it’s what they do for each other the other 364 days that really renews those vows and keeps the relationship on solid ground. Then they were asked how many years had they been married? My Aunt and Uncle smiled and said, a short sixty years and that they renewed their wedding vows every twenty years.

My Aunt said that my Uncle held her hand and gazed into her eyes and said, he was looking forward to the next time. The other seven hundred and ninety-nine couples tenderly smiled at each other as they realized that when you love your partner renewing your wedding vows is a loving way to express one more time to them that they are the only one for you.