Clearing The Cobwebs

How do you let people know you are mad? Some gals holler, some are cupboard door slammers and others get very, very quiet.

Emotions are interesting things. We all have them, we are all affected by them, and we all try to hide them, at one time or another.

Those who cannot hide them well are subject to comments like “she wears her heart on her sleeve” or “it was written all over her face.” Twitching eye brows, clenched jaw, blushing checks, and pursed lips are telltale signs of our inner fluttering hearts, churning stomachs, indignant sensibilities, or raging hormones.

But emotions don’t like to stay hidden for long. In subtle, or not-so-subtle ways, we broadcast our feelings to the world. Our emotional vocabulary includes some pretty interesting phraseology. We talk about our stomach dropping out, our heart stopping, or blowing our stack. We are down in the dumps, hoping mad, in a tizzy, all choke up, in a funk, sick at heart, swamped, and at odds with ourselves.

And when it’s time for these emotions to come gushing out, they take many forms: temper tantrums, endless ranting, sleepless nights, mood swings, critical attitudes, blind rages, constant complaining, pity parties, and hissy fits. Unfortunately, the  popular clichés people say about us to describe how we react when we are mad contain words that are not very flattering are they?

The next time you lose control think about this statement: Only a fool vents all his or her feelings, but a wise man or woman holds them back. But that doesn’t mean we should bottle them all up. No, it means you need to release some of that inner turbulence carefully to someone you trust.

Do you have someone you trust, someone who will never tell what comes up during an angry spat, someone who can listen with understanding, someone you vent to?  Even though it comes most naturally to let off steam in the form of angry words or bitter complaints, laughter is a wonderful alternative! Remember the advertising slogan: Don’t get mad, get glade! Have you ever turned a frustrating event into a funny story? If you haven’t try it!

We can sigh about things, or we can laugh. Both these responses release pressure, but which one is the most fun? We laugh so we wouldn’t scream. Whatever is probably wouldn’t go away, so we might as well live and laugh through it. When we choose to release some of our frustrations with laughter, we allow others around us to relax and join in the chuckle. A woman or man who is willing to find the funny in their day is unmistakable more pleasant to be around than the one who is angry and venting about how their day went.

The truth is that every day has its share of stress. When you feel like an aerosol can because you are under too much pressure, find a listening ear to act as a safety valve. Throw a pity party for your friends so you can all get it out of your system at once. Drown your fears in compassion for each other and then rise up and give yourselves a great big hug. Encourage each other, pray and hang in there!

Some Times Love Hurts…

It’s been said that love should never be associated with the word “hurt”, but it often is. It can hurt so much that it can break someone’s heart.

Heartbreak is not always avoidable but it may be repairable. 

 Sometimes fate deals us a lousy hand. The person we love is forced to move away, someone steals your love’s heart from you, or their death cuts your heart into a million pieces. Avoidable heart breaks are the most tragic. You’re already together, but something is trying to pull you apart. It starts with a wound real or perceived. An apology would cause the wound to heal, but pride or stubbornness or stupidity keeps the apology locked inside.

One wound might not be serious, but when added to a series of others, the consequences can be fatal. So the two of you become haters and the love is shattered. While the leftover cracks might not make gluing together the many pieces of a shattered mirror worthwhile, love is. Other wise people may spend the rest of their lives stepping on those shard of their love all around their life. Each shard is labeled with a “What if?” and each is capable of causing endless pain. They can be dulled by the years, swept away by a new love, or used for endless episodes of self-pity. One solution is to look into the future and realize that love needs to be put above all else. Petty emotions have to be put aside to protect the bond of love.

When someone suffers a heart attack, it’s obvious that every second counts and that the patient needs immediate attention. It’s not as obvious to many people who the same is true for a broken heart. Too often people wait until it’s too late to get help to repair their relationships. Remember every second counts when repairing a wound and the loss of love might be the price.