Tag Archives: Grandmothers

The Wubbolus World OF Grandmothers

Posted in Babies, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms, relationships, traditions, Women by

Margaret Mead wrote: “The closet friends I have made all through my life have been people who grew up close to a loved and loving grandmother or grandfather.”

In part, she attributed the strong bond between grandchildren and grandparents to the fact that they are united against a “common enemy” the parents.

 It begins to dawn on new grandmothers before that wonderful bundle of joy is brought home from the hospital that this grandmother business can be much more complicated that they had ever imagined.

 When a baby is born, so is a grandmother and that is the beginning of a new love story fresh from heaven. There is nothing for a grandmother to do except love her grandchildren. As days and months follow grandmothers soon learn they can love their grandchildren fiercely, with a passion that can make them hunger for them when they are out of range.

Grandmothers know that their own children love but can they trust them to baby sit? That is an interesting question, isn’t it? You might assume automatically that all grandparents are natural baby sitters but that is not the case in many families.

 Sometimes grandmothers feel like they are auditioning for the role of the” baby sitter grandmother.” Even though your children love you that doesn’t mean that they can trust you with their new bundle of joy. Does that shock you? After all, you are full of motherly wisdom and all that expertise you gained through your years of motherhood. You know how to hold a new-born properly, you are capable of changing their diaper and you know all the ends and outs of bottle feeding. Wait, wasn’t that stomach-down or is it stomach-up just what Dr. Spock advise? 

A wise grandmother will get rid of her’ ” know it all attitude” and ask her little of bundle from heaven parents how they want their child or children cared for and follow their requests because it’s what is best for your grandchild and if your children are happy with you and trusting you then you will have all the Grandmother time you need and that makes for a happy family. 

However with that being said, I suggest that you learn how to pronounce all the tongue twister words in “The Cat In The Hat” books before your grandchild is born. I am recommending this base on an experience that I had while reading to my oldest grandson when he was three or four. He blurted out to me these words to me ” you can’t read very good”, so I don’t want you to read to me any more.

Needless to say I felt crushed but after thinking about it a few seconds I had to agree with him. At the time I didn’t realize I was trying to read made up words by the author Theodor Geisel known as Dr. Seuss. This kind of unexpected situation is not listed in any grandparenting book, so I decided I better get the word out to other grandmothers, so they can be better prepared because there is nothing we enjoy more than our hugs and our reading time with our grandchildren. Is there?

 If you can’t figure out how to pronounce some of the words in your grandchildren tongue twister books ask one of your seasoned grandmothers chances are they have already been through the ranks and will be more than glade to save you from being crushed when your grandchild tells you not to read to them cause you don’t read so good. Welcome to the Wubbolus World of Grandmothers and The Wubbolous World of Dr. Seuss.

Nana’s Hands

Posted in family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Quotes, Spiritual by

If we can be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love’s reach. Our Nana was a generous woman with a big heart not just to her family but to all kinds of people, even people she didn’t know.

 She did nice things without expecting anything back. Nana was especially good at baking and she made the best chocolate chipcookies in the world.

One of the best things about Nana was that she loved people and they loved her back. Friends and family knew they could stop by and see her anytime and Nana would always welcome them. Everyone in her family depended on Nana to keep them up with the latest birth or who got married in the neighborhood (in the old neighborhood) as my dad use to say. They grew up in Massachusetts and Rhode Island. 

Now Nana’s not here to tell us what’s going on, or to bake those favorite things she was so good at making. Nana passed away a few years and my cousin found this poem and we realized that it describes how we felt about our Nana. It’s called “Nana’s Hands.”

Nana’s Hands used to touch us with. Nana’s hands would scold us and sit us down in a chair. Nana’s hands would applaud us when we did something good. Nana’s hands would hold us every chance they could. Nana’s hands would aid us when we fell down. Nana”s hands, Yes I miss them, they were the best hands around. Nana’s hands would spank us and she would say, “Now, Baby, you act right.” Nana’s hands would stroke us and tuck us in at night. Nana’s hands would pray for us, they would pray for everyone she knew. Nana’s hands would rise in the air as in God she put her trust. Nana’s hands were special; they were the very best. Nana’s hands got tired, and now they are at rest.

We thought a lot about the last line of that poem it taught us that it can be hard to lose people we love but it can sometimes be for the better too. When Nana got sick we felt bad for her when we realized she couldn’t do things she loved anymore and she was in pain. At least we knew that she didn’t hurt anymore.

 We also realized that we never thought about how things would change once Nana was gone. Losing someone you love can definitely help us appreciate the people who are special to us while we still have them in our lives.

Generational Changes For Women

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If you were to ask my grandmother if she was full filled she would shrug her shoulders and tell you that of course she was full filled.

 My grandmother was not like most of the women of her generation she was a working woman with four children.

However she did have some advantages she only worked while her children were in school and her husband helped with the kids home work and after school activities. He also enjoyed cooking.

My grandparents worked as a team and shared the household chores and the demands that came with raising four children. Wow! they were way a head of their generation.Weren’t they?  Other than grandma’s co-workers, her friends were stay at home moms and homemakers. When I asked her if she felt that her friends resented her or looked down on her for working. She said, Oh Know! Why would they? However they did think that your grandpa was a bit odd for taking care of the kids too but that was it. She said that she resented working and getting paid less than the male school teachers. Sound familiar?

We who are the granddaughters of that generation were taught to believe that kitchen is a confining word. To our contemporaries the words “occupation Housewife” are verboten and we are not permitted to be full or filled with the sounds and smells of the household. This is a generation that came of age during the women’s movement and has had to cope with the greatest sociological changes since man began recording history.

We are the generation that carved a new definition of woman a definition that gave us some excellent middle-management jobs and a strong taste of prejudice, discrimination, and anger. Executives found that women were very good in our jobs, and what made us even better was the fact that women were all willing to do more for less. It was those very virtues that made us the enemy of the working man.

Women helped this low-cost employment force (women began to look like the Far East American help) gain credibility because through our magazines and speeches and leaders, we condoned society that frowned on women who didn’t work and assumed that any dummy (like our mothers) could raise a terrific kid. We looked of equality, and what we got was a new definition of equality: it said that woman was equal to doing man’s work– and her own — and at the same time. We created a beautiful myth about the woman who have it all. She could be thin and rich and powerful. We encouraged our daughters to enroll in women’s study courses, and we talked about their futures and the way they would run their homes in th future.

And then lo and behold our daughters got married and they wondered what we were talking about. They were so tiered they couldn’t even call us to complain. They were so busy running from work to the house that they were each willing—-personally–to march across Helen Gurley Brown‘s desk and tell her that she was full of beans.  

During those years we found ourselves saying that all women who were now thirty-five would want to switch 180 degrees in ten years. That is, we reported to anyone who would listen , all women who are 35 and in the work force on an upwardly mobile path would like to be home with children in ten years, and all women now at home with children in ten years, like to be on an upwardly mobile career path.

The other day my friend Elizabeth made a mistake of saying in front of her daughter you’re wrong she said quickly. All children I have learned are quick to say, you’re wrong, slower to say, you’re right.

She went on to explain,”My friends–except for me — don’t expect to go back to work. They like staying home. They like playing with their children, and some even like cooking and entertaining. They never want to work again.” Her sister agreed (she’s a mother of three boys). “The women in the park where she takes her children don’t want to go back to work. You know, she confided,”it’s not great working when our children are young.  

I would like to think that this generation of women appreciate what the earlier generations women accomplished. It’s possible for women today to be Betty Crocker‘s or Rosie the riveters if you want to work or not. The women of earlier generations helped pioneer the way I wonder what this generation of mothers will be pioneering for their daughters? 

When You’re Young At Heart…

Posted in family, generational changes, grandkids, Lyrics, Quotes, relationships by

Fairy Tales, can come true, it can happen to you. If you’re young at heart. For it’s hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind. If you’re young at heart. When you can go to extremes, with impossible schemes. You can laugh, when your dreams fall apart, at the seams. And life, gets more exciting with each passing day. And love is either in your heart, or on its way.  Don’t you know that it’s worth every treasure on earth?  To be young at heart.

And if you survive to 105. Look at all you’ll derive out of being alive! And here is the best part, you have a head start. If you are among the very young at heart.

In a striking turnaround, science now sees optimism and pessimism not as good or bad outlooks you’re born with. But as mind-sets to adopt as situations demand.  Sure, you could look at life purely rationally, but without optimism or pessimism, you might not do much.

I loved it when my children were young. I’ve never been so tired, or had as much fun. Like all women it didn’t matter what I did .Women, never seemed to agree on what made for a “Happy Mom”. I wonder if there was a recipe called “Happy Moms.” What would the ingredients be?   It seems like “Moms” have a million expectations to live up to. Don’t they?  

It doesn’t seem to matter what age we are there are constant reminders of the choices we have to make or have made. When we are young, time seems to pass by slowly. We thought, we had all the answers. Didn’t we? It seems to me. That I knew more at the age of twenty-two, than I do now.

 When we were young it was all about the “when’s.” When they learn to crawl,walk and run. When they start school. When they get a job. When they fall in love. And just wait until they have their own children. Oh! yes, when we were young, it was all  about the future. And it seemed like we have all the time in the world. Didn’t it?  

Then we became grandmothers and the years just seemed like the flew by.  Suddenly the “when s” return. When they learn to crawl, stand, walk and run.  Along with the when’s, the fun and excitement returns. Doesn’t it?  I’m sure that my grandkids feel, that I’m bit odd.

Sometimes it seems like occasionally I catch them giving me a sarcastic glance that seems to say, “Really”  you’re doing that?  And other times their glances seem to say, ” She’s old” we must be the patient with her. Their little legs walk as slowly as my old legs. And their fresh eyes see things, that I have ignored for years.

It’s been said, That being young at heart, is not about your age but it’s a state of mind. I find that’s true. I hope you do too. The recipe for what makes for a “Happy Mom” is still being written. Or did “Betty Crocker” write it?  Maybe! Mom’s get to pretend to be like “Betty” and create their own “Mom” recipe?. Like the lyrics say,  Fairy Tales can come true. It can happen to you!