Create A Happy Heart

Posted in Chidren, Dreams, family, Life, relationships by

Life is full of opportunities to create a happy heart. My mother use to say the most wasted of all days, is one with out laughter. She believed in positive thinking and that singing happy songs help to make for a happy heart.

 She loved to dance, sing and laugh. When I was a young girl my mother had a happy song, dance, a funny joke or saying for every situation in life. I don’t mean that as a metaphor I mean it literally.

When life dealt her lemons she was the kind of mother who would make lemonade out of the lemons. She was a half glass full kind of mother. One of my favorite examples of my mothers positive attitude and keeping a happy heart took place when I was thirteen and my best friend Vicky was celebrating her birthday at Disneyland.

The day the invitation arrived I was ecstatic. As far as I was concerned there was nothing better than the E ticket rides at Disneyland. I had lots of E tickets from  previous visits and I was full of expectations. The night before the big day all I did was talk, talk and talk about the rides. I don’t know how my mother kept her wits about her while she listened to my excessive talking. 

 One of the songs my mother and I use sing and listen to was called ” You Talk To Much”. I remember she was singing the words to the song under her breath. I’m sure she was hoping that I would get a clue and stop talking but you know how thirteen year old girls are.

Finally when the big day arrived I woke up and my neck hurting when I told my mother she did everything she could to try to help stop the pain but nothing worked. I was broken-hearted when my mother told me to call my Vicky and let her know that I wouldn’t be able to go.

I hung up the phone and I realized that I was not going to be able to celebrate Vicky’s birthday. I wondered how was I ever going to get over being disappointed?  The girls and I had mapped out and made a list of rides we were going to on and we saved our allowances so we could buy a present for Vick’s birthday.

 I started crying and my mother tried to console me. She said maybe, if your neck starts feeling better she could drive you to meet up with Vicky and the girls later in the day. I said, sure mom that would be ok. When I finished my melt down I noticed that my mom had left the room and I became curious and went to find out what she was doing.

When I found her she had taken off her night-gown and had put on a funny dress, hat and fun music on her old RCA record player.  At first when I saw her I thought to myself, how dare her be so happy when I was so sad. Then after listening to a few of her happy songs I started to sing and dance along with her. The next thing I knew. I wasn’t sad any more. The pain in my neck was gone but it was still stiff.

I’m glade that my mother applied a positive attitude to my situation and it did make for a merry heart. Life isn’t always about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

 

Let Go And Surrender

Posted in Dreams, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

Letting go is an emotional and spiritual surrender. It means willingly jumping out of the lifeboat of your preconceptions of reality and taking your chances out in the open sea of anything-can-happen.

It means that even as your definition of reality is dissolving before your very eyes, you willingly relinquish it, instinctively comprehending that the state of surrender itself will be a creative condition. It’s hard to let go, to live in a formless, destinationless place. All our lives we’re taught to hold on, to be the masters of our fate, the captains of our souls. Letting go isn’t comfortable; it can feel like anything from laziness to utter loss of control. It’s not aggressive and self-assured. It’s not the American way.

But letting go is, in truth, is a most elegant kind of daring. It is vulnerability of the highest order, an emptying out of self, of all the clutter, chatter, ideas, attitudes, schemes, and plans that, ordinarily, we all contain. In this emptiness, there is room for so much; in this vacancy, anything can happen: breathtaking transformations, changes of directions, miracles that will purely astound you, love that comes out of a spiritual conversion. But only if you are willing to truly let go of it all: as the tree dropping her bright leaves for winter, the trapeze artist, suspended in midair between two bars, the diver free-falling from the high dive, have all unequivocally, wholeheartedly let go.

Letting go is being alive to the power of anything is possible. It is living in surrender, trust, and the belief that emptiness is at once the perfect completion and the perfect beginning. So let go. And remember that if you hang on to even a shred or try to make a deal with Gods meaning of letting go you might not experience all the wonderful things that are ment happen to you.

To Realize The Value Of A Sister Or Brother

Posted in Babies, family, Family Values, Life, relationships by

To realize the value of a sister or brother ask someone who doesn’t have one.

To realize the value of ten years ask a newly divorced couple.

 To realize the value of four years ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realize the value of nine months ask a mother who gave birth to a still-born. To realize the value of one month ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one minute ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize the value of one-second ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special. To realize the value of a friend or family member ask someone who has lost a friend or family member.

The Sweet Knowings Of Love

Posted in Brides, family, generational changes, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

The journey of love is a journey of many sweet knowings. It is the sweet bliss, in first love, of discovering all your love’s little secrets, her favorite flower and fragrance, the color that sets off her eyes so; his plaid flannel shirts, the way he laces up his boots, his shaving brush, and that one wild hair in his eyebrow; the scent of her skin, the feel of her hair, the drawer she keeps her lingerie in.

It is later the being together and love becomes the sound of the key as he locks up the house, the sound of the rain in the shower each morning as she is singing and shampoos her hair. It is how she rolls over at night in bed, how he sleeps like a saint, with his hands folded over his chest; it is what he can fix; what she can mend. And it is the changing, this way and that way.

Sometimes there are unkind words spoken the anger and love in the mist; making love, holding hands. And the children, wanting, not being sure about wanting them; being scared, and so overjoyed and seeing them sleeping and carried at night in his arms; how he is so tender, how she is so easy, so strong with them.

It is watching the years go by they come and go and come and go and then they just seem to Go and Go. Autumn and spring and winter and summer. So slowly and endlessly beautifully folding, unfolding so quickly go. And how we have done every year, so many things and so few. Each day, and the meals and the work and the talk.

Each day a small town with a map and the trip they have taken in it. And the walks and the light and the changing of the light and how they have traveled. And how they have given the gifts. At Christmas, birthdays, wedding  anniversaries and just because. They want to remember all the words they have written on cards. The things they have said and the things they have whispered to each other. I love you, good night and I adore you. You are my one and only.

And how time has passed He has grown old and he has white in his hair and the fine thin lines of his life and sun are remaking his eyes. He notices that her eyes softer now but still blue and even after so many years and the fading he still loves her. He still loves the scent of her perfume after all these years. 

She still loves how he after all these years he still sleeps with his hands folded over his chest and the scent of his after shave lotion. They love remembering now and not forgetting why they love each other. He said for them it’s been like a long love song that tells the story of how they have melted, woven themselves, befriended, ensouled one another.

 Now that they are here at the end of their lives that they know one another so well, like the bird knows the air like the snowdrift knows the snow; and how he said long a go, until we know each other like the seasons; and now it is spring; and now it is summer now it is autumn now it is winter; and we know we know, that love is endless and we will know each other in eternity too.

A Test of Love by St. Augustine…

Posted in Books, Spiritual by

 “A Test of Love” is a sermon once preached by St. Augustine where he proposed a kind of self test to see if we truly love God.

 Lets suppose God proposed to you a deal and said, “I will give you anything you want” and you can own the world.

Nothing will be impossible for you, nothing will be sin and nothing forbidden. You will never die, never have pain, never have anything you do not want and always have anything you want.

 Except for just one thing you will never see my face. Augustine closed with this question: Did a chill rise in your hearts when you heard the words you will never see my face? That chill is the most precious thing in you; that is the pure love of God.” What good is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? I wonder…

Roll Out Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days Of Summer

Posted in family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Songs, summer by

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. Days of Juicy Juice, Goldfish and Mom’s yummy home-made monster cookies. Dust off the sun and the moon and sing a song of cheer. Fill your lunch boxs full of your favorite summer goodies. Lock up the house, load up the SUV and buckle up and lets Go, Go, Go on an adventure at the seashore.

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of  summer when boys and girls are happy day dreaming about swimming at the seashore, listening to the ocean in seashells and drawing funny faces in the sand. They are hoping that they will win first place for building the tallest sand castle.

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer as the clumsy toddlers with their legs sprawled out for balance and a shovel gripped awkwardly in a little fist as they are  intent on filling a bucket full of sand and sea shells and are fully unaware of their mothers loving gaze. Dust of the sun and the moon and sing a song of cheer and roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.

 Love from Grandma

Love Letters Speak Of Secret Wishes

Posted in Dreams, generational changes, Keepsakes, Letters, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

A love letter is a declaration that speaks of secret wishes, shared joy, or lasting A love letter is the most intimate correspondence a person can receive.

 With in its lines promises given, and fond memories recalled. Within its lines secret desires are made known through divine inspiration.

Written in elegant scrip on scented stationary or scrawled haphazardly on a scrap of paper, mailed from across the seas, hidden in a bouquet of roses, or tucked between the pages of an album, a love letter is to be cherished always. Love letters are precious reminders of heart-felt sentiments. They may bring encouragement and reassurance to the pining heart. It’s a reminder that says, “We’ll be together soon.” Or they may be simple reminders that say “I’m thinking about you. You make me smile.”

Whatever their purpose, love letters are received with joy and anticipation. Then saved in special places. Maybe in a dresser drawer, under mattress, ribbon-tied in a hope chest, or secreted away n a quiet corner. They are kept to be lovingly revisited for many years to comes. Over time, letters may become worn and tear-stained, but the meaning of their words remain as true as the day they were written.

Every day, thousands of people visit web sites seeking advice and suggestions about love and romance. Today I read that  hand written ” love letters” are still holding their place in the hearts of lovers. Men and women are happy to receive a love letter by Email. However receiving a love letter through the postal service still ranks number one, in the hearts of women everywhere. 

Clearing The Cobwebs

Posted in Life by

How do you let people know you are mad? Some gals holler, some are cupboard door slammers and others get very, very quiet.

Emotions are interesting things. We all have them, we are all affected by them, and we all try to hide them, at one time or another.

Those who cannot hide them well are subject to comments like “she wears her heart on her sleeve” or “it was written all over her face.” Twitching eye brows, clenched jaw, blushing checks, and pursed lips are telltale signs of our inner fluttering hearts, churning stomachs, indignant sensibilities, or raging hormones.

But emotions don’t like to stay hidden for long. In subtle, or not-so-subtle ways, we broadcast our feelings to the world. Our emotional vocabulary includes some pretty interesting phraseology. We talk about our stomach dropping out, our heart stopping, or blowing our stack. We are down in the dumps, hoping mad, in a tizzy, all choke up, in a funk, sick at heart, swamped, and at odds with ourselves.

And when it’s time for these emotions to come gushing out, they take many forms: temper tantrums, endless ranting, sleepless nights, mood swings, critical attitudes, blind rages, constant complaining, pity parties, and hissy fits. Unfortunately, the  popular clichés people say about us to describe how we react when we are mad contain words that are not very flattering are they?

The next time you lose control think about this statement: Only a fool vents all his or her feelings, but a wise man or woman holds them back. But that doesn’t mean we should bottle them all up. No, it means you need to release some of that inner turbulence carefully to someone you trust.

Do you have someone you trust, someone who will never tell what comes up during an angry spat, someone who can listen with understanding, someone you vent to?  Even though it comes most naturally to let off steam in the form of angry words or bitter complaints, laughter is a wonderful alternative! Remember the advertising slogan: Don’t get mad, get glade! Have you ever turned a frustrating event into a funny story? If you haven’t try it!

We can sigh about things, or we can laugh. Both these responses release pressure, but which one is the most fun? We laugh so we wouldn’t scream. Whatever is probably wouldn’t go away, so we might as well live and laugh through it. When we choose to release some of our frustrations with laughter, we allow others around us to relax and join in the chuckle. A woman or man who is willing to find the funny in their day is unmistakable more pleasant to be around than the one who is angry and venting about how their day went.

The truth is that every day has its share of stress. When you feel like an aerosol can because you are under too much pressure, find a listening ear to act as a safety valve. Throw a pity party for your friends so you can all get it out of your system at once. Drown your fears in compassion for each other and then rise up and give yourselves a great big hug. Encourage each other, pray and hang in there!

Oreo Mint Chocolate Chip Freeze | Ice Cream Recipes | ILove2Bake2006 | Just A Pinch Recipe Club

Posted in Baking, Oreo Cookie Desserts by

Oreo Mint Chocolate Chip Freeze | Ice Cream Recipes | ILove2Bake2006 | Just A Pinch Recipe Club. I think this just looks wonderful… ooooooooooh I just remembered I just stopped eating ice cream. What’s a girl to do?

Choose To Think Happy Thoughts

Posted in Dreams, Life by

If you want to find happiness and add years to your life, think positive thoughts. When you choose positive thoughts over negative ones, you are more likely to develop an optimistic outlook on life.

  According to the results compiled by the “Happiness Researchers” positive people generally have higher levels of optimism and life satisfaction and live longer. In a BBC News report, Dr. Seligman, director of The Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, was quoted as saying that he believed that “we have compelling evidence that optimists and pessimists will differ markedly in how long they live.”

Dr. Fredrickson, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has counseled that changing your mindset can change your body chemistry. She has stated that positive feelings literally can open the heart and mind. And there’s more good news. Even if you aren’t normally a happy person, thinking happy thoughts is a skill that can be learned. Work on being open, being an optimist, choosing to think positive thoughts, and seeing the proverbial glass half full rather than half empty. The next time you are in the post office and someone cuts in front of you or says something rude, resist the urge to respond with anger, which can clamp down you blood vessels and increase your blood pressure.

Instead, return rudeness with kindness and respect. Keep, that positive vibe going through your intentions and actions in what ever you do. The more often you choose to be happy, the more your effort will be strengthened. so don’t fret; pray and be happy. You will live longer. 

The Care And Feeding Of Big Dreams

Posted in Dreams, Life by

If you have big dreams, you have already reaped big benefits, regardless of whether or not your dream materializes into reality.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that Albert Einstein once said:”imagination is more important than knowledge.” Dreaming stretches our imaginations and is a worthwhile endeavor for that reason alone. Using our imagination leads to knowledge and wisdom which makes for great dreams and goals. And if dreams are good , dreams that come true are even better. For the best chance of seeing some of your dreams come true, consider these suggestions:

  • Divide and conquer. The movie What about Bob starring Bill Murray is about Bills zany character Bob who  becomes the overzealous fan of a psychologist who writes a book encouraging “baby steps” toward mental health. Of course, the goal of the movie was to make viewers laugh, not provide a commentary on achieving our dreams. It accomplished both because Bob wrote a best seller book and found true love. His dreams came true because he did everything in moderation or as he called it “Baby Steps.” Dividing a big dream into a series of baby steps can take something that once seemed unattainable and put it very much in our reach. Writing a 200-page book, for example, may seem formidable. Writing a single page, however, is well within our reach. Repeat that same baby step five days a week for one year and your book is done. Think about some of your goals. Can you break a major goal into a series of tiny ones? If so, you’re halfway there.
  • Redefine failure and success. Sandra Glahn writes about a ten-year struggle with infertility n her book. When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden. ( Broadman and Holman, 1997). Eventually Sandra and her husband conceived and gave birth to daughter Alexandra. But by then , Sandra had learned how to look at “success and failure” in a whole new light. She writes: “God defines success not in terms of what we allow. He defines it in terms of the transformation we allow His word to make in our lives. I am a success if I can get through my experience with a greater love for God and my spouse that when I started. I am a success on some days if in spite of my lack of ‘success’ I manage to drag myself out of bed, get dressed, and find reasons to be thankful for one more day.” Don’t limit yourself by viewing success and failure as single, narrow path. Ask God to show you his perspective when it comes to your dreams and goals.
  • Embrace risk. Yes, yes, I know what I just wrote about baby steps. But now and then, making a dream come true means taking a gigantic leap. If a rare opportunity presents itself weigh the cost, then consider going for it. Of course pray and pray some more about all the risks involved and seek wise counsel. Notice I said, “weigh the cost,” not  “weigh the odds.” Even if the odds are against you, if the cost in dollars, time, or emotional and physical energy is one you are willing to pay, then don’t let the slim odds deter you. That’s why it’s called “risk.”
  • Admit who you are. “Stop thinking of yourself as a wanna-be. Begin today telling yourself and others who you are.” When I was in high school my friend Elizabeth wrote many articles and a poems for a magazine for Girl Scouts. Elizabeth still has the first five dollar bill she received framed in a glass shadow box hanging on the wall behind her desk in her office. For many years Elizabeth thought of herself as a wanna-be writer and would not submit her articles and short stories for publication.Then one day she suddenly started thinking of herself as a bona fide writer, it became easier to do the things real writers do, like be consistent in sending queries and honing her skills. Elizabeth is a published writer as a result of her changing how she saw herself.
  • Mingle with cheerleaders. The truth is, some people bring doom and gloom wherever they go. They are “killjoy’s.” Their negative attitudes could depress a roomful of monkeys on a caffeine high. I’d wager even Norman Vincent Peale would have a hard time harnessing the power of positive thinking in their presence. When my friend Elizabeth began writing short stories for magazines she made the mistake of showing her first story to a friend who spent twenty minutes giving unsolicited advice. Elizabeth is not particularly thin-skinned about her work, but the comments were about her work. They were quite personal in nature. Elizabeth didn’t think her friend was trying to be harsh but her friend wasn’t being careful, and Elizabeth came away from the encounter crushed. It took her six weeks to brush herself off and begin writing again. In order to survive and thrive, our dreams need TLC. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but make a habit of surrounding yourself with friends who are, by nature, encourager’s rather than pessimist.
  • Bond with a mentor. Do you know someone who has traveled a little father down the road you are pursuing? If you do, there’s a chance she would enjoy sharing with you her secrets of success. Be sensitive, however: If you sense that she is evasive, or might be feeling threatened by your pending success, then find another mentor. Look for someone who has experienced the dream you would like to claim for your own, someone who talks freely about her own journey and is willing to help you on yours. Inspire yourself with “can-do” stories and people. Don’t you just love stories where someone beats the odds to make a dream come true? These kinds of Rocky Balboa stories are everywhere we find them in biographies, autobiographies, movies, on-line news stories, and very likely among your own friends. If you are trying to pursue a dream or if your dreams have died and you wish you could rekindle the old sparks again. Build up your heart and soul by watching and reading”can do” stories that celebrate the strength inherent in the human spirit.
  • Give yourself a mental picture to follow. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So give yourself a picture of what your dream might look like in real life. Start a scrapbook and begin filling it with images that say something to about your dream. Want to run the Boston Marathon? Look for images of runners and other athletes, well as articles about people who have achieved impressive athletic fets. You will, quite literally, be providing your mind with a blueprint you can follow as you continue working toward your goal. 

Once again, here are the steps: Divide and conquer. Redefine failure and success. Embrace risk. Admit who you are. Mingle with cheerleaders. Bond with a mentor. Inspire yourself with “can do” stories. Give yourself a mental picture to follow.

The unfortunate fact is that, despite our best efforts, our dreams don’t always come true. Indeed, we can experience great pain when a beloved dream crashes and burns.  And yet, even as we sift through the ashes of one dream, we often find the stirrings of hope for another. That’s the beauty of the human spirit. In fact, the capacity to dream can be a key indicator of mental and emotional health. After all, a dream is little more than a kind of passionate hope, and without hope, we die. It’s as simple as that. Take stock of your dreams. If necessary, look back through the years and resurrect some of the dreams from your childhood. Nature your dreams, and they will nurture you in return. 

Hoop It Up With Your Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Keepsakes, Parenting, relationships, traditions by

Are you wondering how to get your grandchildren moving, spark their imaginations, and make the evening so much fun, they’ll want to come back next week?

I just read a list of activities suggested for grandparents by Grandparents.com and I have added a few comments of my own to their list. I hope you enjoy reading a little granny humor today!

  •  Balloon volleyball ! Players bat a balloon back and forth, using part of their bodies, keeping it from hitting the ground. To make it harder, add more balloons. We do that in our house and the kids get a big kick out of it. Jesse likes to lay on a balloon and try to make it pop. What can I say?
  • Indoor safari! Hide stuffed animals around your house before your grandkids get there; then have your junior explorers search for wild game. Are you kidding me? I’m still finding stuffed animals that they stashed around the house from last Christmas it’s always an endless safari hunt in our house! But it does sound like a fun activity. Doesn’t it?
  • Time machine! Scan old family photos, like childhood pictures of your grandkids’ parents, on your computer. Print them out and let the kids create funny captions or stories. Can you see the humor in all the funny things that grandkids could do to photos of their parents. I sure can!
  • Karaoke! To make it even more fun, you sing along to your grandkids’ favorite songs and see if they can tackle tunes from your era. I don’t know about you but my grandkids always ask that I don’t sing. According to my grandson Jeremy I can’t sing or read so good! The funny thing about what he said it is he is true. I do struggle with some of the tongue twisters from “The Cat In The Hat.” Have you tried reading or singing some of the Cat In The Hat stuff? I can’t be the only grandmother with issues about it!
  • Game night! Not video games teach them classic games they don’t know, like jacks, marbles, or pick up sticks. Well I can tell we aren’t going to be playing any of these games in our house for a few years, because Jesse is only two years old and he’s not going to coöperate with us on this one. But we can play cars and trucks even if he tries to take mine away from me.
  • Gotta Dance! Teach the kids your favorite ballroom dance  since Dancing with the Stars, it’s cool again. I suggest you check with their parents first on this one. Not everyone thinks Dancing with the Stars is cool, if you know what I mean?
  • Hula-Hoop it up! You try it too. The kids will love watching you give it a whirl. This sounds like a blast from the past doesn’t it? Just make sure your hips are in alignment before you hula hoop it up!
  • Take it on the road! museums, aquariums, and zoos around the country are offering families the opportunity to sleep over night among the dinosaurs, dolphins, and deer. Call and find out if your local institutions offer this option. And as always, clear it with the parents. That sounds awesome doesn’t it? But if you want to save gas, time and money just go in their bedrooms most grandkids rooms are full of stuffed animals that their grandparents bought for them and with just a little imagination it’s like being at in a zoo. Isn’t it? 
  • Say Cheese! Snap photos with a digital camera all evening. Print the pictures while the kids sleep, then have them assemble sleepover scrapbooks to take home in the morning. And don’t forget to make one for  yourself. It’s sure to be one of your most treasured possessions! I love this idea I’m going to try it. How about you?

After reading this list I am saying to myself; How’s that going to work out for grandparents? The reason is these activities are suggested between dinner time and bed time. I don’t know about you but we make it a point to create a claim atmosphere in order to create the desire in them to them to go to sleep.

I know my son and daughter-in-law would not appreciate me playing balloon volleyball with my grandson’s just before bedtime. I suggest doing these activities in the morning so they’ll get tired out and you can all take a nap after lunch. That sounds good doesn’t it? After all there is nothing like a good old-fashioned nap. Is there? Just remember what ever you do to hoop it up with your grandkids have a blast doing it! So long for now from a Granny in Training!

Writing Is A Process Like Aging

Posted in generational changes, Life, relationships, Women by

If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening. When I was in my twenties I belonged to a writers group. We would meet every other Wednesday and share our short stories, plays, mysteries and memoirs. Needless to say we did a lot of talking and listening. As with any group of women, our conversations ranged from what our children were doing to what was going on in the White House.

Every word spoken was important to us. One day, the conversation centered on their litany of complaints over getting older. One woman described her hot flashes in great detail and told us how in the middle of night she got out of bed and took a cold shower to calm her night sweats.

 I was a new mother and all I could think about was how many dirty diapers I had changed and was suffering from all those sleepless nights. Needless to say, I remained silent, while sipping a cup of tea as the rest of the women shared their complaints about aging. I started to wonder if I was in a writers group or having lunch with my mother and her girlfriends.

Finally the group returned to the business at hand which was to decide if we should start to critique each others writings. A few of us decided that it would be helpful to have someone critique our latest writings. After that there were frequent red marks all over our pages. To make the process easier to take, we started each critique with what was good about the piece. Then with the writer basking in the glow of hearing how skillful her writing was, the not so positive stuff could be discussed. Many of the women went on to become succesful published authors.

 The good stuff doesn’t just apply to critiquing writers it also applies to aging. Now many years later most of my friends are helping take care of their parents. They are dealing with problems about aging, fading memories, fatal illnesses, scams to cheat the trusting. At times they become overwhelmed. 

It’s time to start thinking about what we gain from getting older, not what we lose. When we start to appreciate all the good stuff that we have and can do, we become happier people. Like a new sense of time. Like times when we were perusing an education or a career or raising our kids, we always looked ahead to each new stage.

 It may have been when our babies would crawl, talk, walk, feed themselves, get out of diapers, get into school. Maybe it was when you finished collage and received your collage degree or when you were in pursuit of fulfilling your career goals.

 All of those situations require looking ahead to the good stuff. Getting older doesn’t have to mean that you can’t look forward to having good stuff in your life. It means you have to think out of the box and move out of a few comfort zones. You can do it!

Now we know how fast the chipmunk-cheeked face of the nursing baby sharpens into the schoolgirls’ studious look. Don’t we? And we realize that, with each change, how special our time is and how fast it all disappears, too. Writing, like life, is not a goal but a process. And, as in life, it is easy to give up.

 The excuses are legion. It’s too difficult to write; the storyline isn’t working; I don’t know where it’s taking me. But if we don’t trust the possibility that it will all work out, we’ll never get it written. And if those who read our work don’t look for possibilities, their doubts can discourage us from finishing it. So, we look for the possibilities of each idea, each piece of work.

Growing older in our society isn’t easy. The emphasis on staying young no matter what it takes or costs is strong. It’s sometimes hard to find the up side of getting old. But as mature women we have endless possibilities, from the sublime to the silly: never wearing panty hose again; wearing big, dangling rhinestone earings with jeans; eating dessert first or eating dessert only; going back to graduate school for the sheer joy of learning; taking up glass blowing or skydiving.

We can do what we want. It’s all possible. The process of writing is like aging they are both full of possibilities. The longer we live, the more we know about hurts and sadness in our own lives and in the world. But we know more too, with a recounting of what went right in our lives. As we have aged we have learned that each time we leave those we care about, we can leave them a positive word, a gift of good stuff, until we see them again. Life and writing are full of possibilities aren’t they?

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Parenting, relationships, Songs, traditions by

Do You Hear What I Hear? has always been one of my favorite Christmas Carols. I love the soft, gentle notes as they draw out the words:” Do you hear what I hear?” I melt as the violins respond: “A song, a song high above the trees with a voice as big as the sea.” I love this Carol because it is about listening, hearing the sounds of night. The words challenge the heart to hear and know truth. The theme calls us to recognize that moment when truth manifests itself before us. My friend Jane and her husband Bob told me a story about listening. I’m so inspired by it that I want to share it with you. 

Jane was happy to share with me about the wisdom she gleaned from a man who mentored his children in a quiet time each day. His example stressed the importance of sitting quietly, listening to what he called the song of the heart. How many of us listen? How many of us teach our children and grandchildren to stop and listen?

A few years ago Jane and Bob initiated a rest time with their grandchildren. Each year, they go spend time in the summer with them. Following the hectic morning activities, they usually set aside a time in the afternoon to rest. They call it their quiet time, Bob told me that he wished he could have told me that they started having quite time for noble reasons, but he confessed it was out necessity. He started doing it when he found himself tired and needing to regain some strength, he did it for himself. Now it has become a tradition.

Jane and Bob’s story, includes a message for us to take to heart. During an extended visit, she decided to try a quiet time with her grandchildren. After she picked them up at school, she parked the car underneath an oak tree, rolled the window down, and told them, “Now we are going to so something really fun. We are going to have quiet time and listen.”

Expectantly their faces lighted up in anticipation. She explained the plan, and wouldn’t you know it, as soon as she stopped talking, a train went by. They listened. They clearly heard the whistle, the wheels as they clattered on the track, the sounds of the cars clanging together. The children were amazed and excited. When quiet time was over, they had much to talk about.

The next day they tried it again. This time they heard a bird signing and leaves rustling as the wind blew through the trees. About two days later, Jennifer, age four, awoke, Jennifer explained, “I miss my mommy.” Jane asked her what could be done.  “I need a quiet time for a few minutes,” Jennifer replied, “so I can miss her.”

Jane left the room. A few minutes later, Jennifer came down the hall. “I’m done,” she said. Something happened in those few minutes. In the way of a child, Jennifer listened to the song of her heart and was comforted. Perhaps she thought of her mom and her favorite memory. Maybe she cried and sucked her thumb or sang her favorite song. We don’t what transpired in those precious moments, but we like to think that she heard a still, small whisper from a loving God who said, “It is OK. I am here.”

Jane and I enjoy connecting a quiet time to a time of listening to the song of our hearts. We like the results that happen when we encourage our grandchildren to stop and listen, to regather and recenter when they have a need. We are looking forward to adopting and expanding on ways to spend quiet time with them in the future. Jane has four grandchildren and I have two and one on the way. That’s seven children that we can be quiet and listen with. Do you hear what I hear?

Call Her Sweetheart

Posted in family, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace by

Your loves name is more than a word. When you say his or her name aloud or in your head, it evokes everything, all your memories, all the time you’ve spent together, all the trips you’ve made, the children you’ve had, and the obstacles you’ve overcome. Some people only say their partner’s name when they’re angry, they want something, or they’re yelling or complaining.

The  name loses its valuable identity and becomes associated with negative feelings. So make sure you use your loves name with tenderness, caring and emotion as often as you can. Each time you say it that way, you’ll be filled with love. Dear… Honey…Snookums…Baby…Lover…Kid… Sweetheart… They show you care, especially when your love saves them just for you. But they’re not the same as saying someone’s name. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care when you call their name out.

Some parents call each other Mom and Dad, imitating their children. This may sound cute, but it removes your individuality and replaces it with a role. So it’s better to reserve those titles for your children’s use. Sweetheart it’s best to use an enduring name for each other.