Play Your Song

Remember your song? The one the band played at your wedding? Or on the car radio blasting on your way to the beach? or the violinist who serenaded you with at your favorite Italian restaurant?

Of all the sounds that fill the air piercing through the cacophony of life, this tune provides the two of you with the most joyous noise of all. 

 If love requires occasional quiet to prosper it can also thrive surrounded by some joyous noise. Don’t allow your song to disappear use it to communicate the love you have for each other maybe even play it everyday. Perhaps you could use it to wake up to every morning or listen to it right before you go to bed or use it as the background sound on your voicemail. Sometimes you can whistle it while you’re preparing dinner.

Others may share your song but when you set the music playing for that moment it’s all yours, not just for one of you but for both of you. The song can help tie you closer together and the more you play it the tighter the ties will be. 

 While the music is to be heard it can also be written on a romantic note card and displayed in a place to surprise your lover. There’s a women in New York who makes romantic cards just for lovers with the words to their song in it.  Whether it’s on a romantic card or in another form like stationary, you can show your love for your song by displaying it on note cards in many places where sounds are out-of-place. If you can’t do any of that send them a text with the first lines of your love song to them or make it your ring tones on your phones.

If you have children you might have to wait a few years to get started on connecting through your love songs but there is a lot of fun kid songs to choose. 

Regardless if you have kids or not play music, dance, and sing as a way of saying ” I Love You.”

A Slice Of Life

Having fun with our kids is like a slice of pie. Think about a pie not as a fruit pie, but as a pie of life with slices that define different, slices of family life. One slice is childhood, the next slice is the parenting years, followed by the early adult slice and the largest slice is the empty nest years.

 If we live out our average life expectancy, we will spend twice as many years as adults together with our children, than when they were living at home with us. When a group of my friends got together we talked about our relationships with our parents. Some of us got along well with them, others did not. When we probed the reasons, it had a lot to do with parenting patterns developed during childhood.

 In other words, how we parent our young kids might shape our relationship with them when they grow upWe figured out that the ones who wanted to be friends as adults and spend time together, not out of obligation but, because they enjoyed each other and had moms who included fun as one of their family values. They seemed to be the moms who adult children wanted to spend time with for all the right reasons.

You might be asking yourself what does fun look like?  Just look around you and watch other fun families. You’ll notice they can have fun and be fun even in unlikely places. Like the grocery store or waiting in line at the DMV. Fun is an attitude as much as an activity. And to have fun, we have to be fun, which means lightening up.

Throughout the years, the activities changed. We went from having fun with preschoolers which was fairly simple. They loved to play and loved the attention they got when we did almost anything together. When our kids got older, their fun included their friends, which meant stretching the family circle to make those friends feel welcome in our homes. We agreed that parenting includes the responsibility to shape appropriate fun as kids grow up, which was easier when their friends gathered at our houses.

 The best advice offered was to learn to let go of our own expectations and stop trying to  Besides, our best and most humorous family memories often came out of those unexpected out comes. Friendships with our adult children evolve as slowly as our parenting bumped and bounced from controlling to influencing to simply encouraging and enjoying.

The fun we have along the way is not so much about doing things, as about being in relationships that allowed for growth and embraced our differences. It’s been said, that being friends and having fun with our adult children is the best slice of the pie of life!

 

Love

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.  Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness,compassion, and affection; and the unselfish loyal, and benevolent concern for the good of another.  Love is central to many religions, as in the Christian phrase,”God is Love” or Agape in the canonical gospels. Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.

In English, love refers to many different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure, “I loved that meal” to Love at first sight such as in “Romeo and Juliet”  Shakespeare’s most popular archetypal stories of young teenage lovers.

Then there is the love at first glance kind of love as described in the novel “Les Miserables”, by Victor Hugo,  between the characters Marius Pontmercy a student and Cosette falling in love after glancing into each others eyes for the first time and by the end of the novel married each other.

Then there’s interpersonal attraction I love my partner. “Love” may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of a spouse, to the emotional closeness of family love or the platonic love that defines friendship. 

In romantic relationships, “falling in Love” is mainly a Western tradition. It is used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love. The use of the  term “fall” implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible, or that it puts the lover in a state of vulnerability, in the same way the word “Fall” is used in the phase “To Fall Ill” or “To Fall Into A Trap.”  The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.  Before we fall in love, we can see the other person as a bare branch; as we fall, we coat him or her with jeweled attractions about 80 percent of our own making.

There are many contributing factors when we ask ourselves Who and why that person?  A few factors that contribute strongly to falling in love include proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and attractiveness. Similarity would seem especially important: some would even claim that when we fall in love we fall into narcissistic identification. 

 Psychology research has shown two basis for love at first sight. The first is that the attractiveness of a person can be very quickly determined, with the average time in one study being 0.13 second. The second is that the first few minutes of a relationship have shown to be predictive of the relationship’s future success, more so than what two people have in common or whether they like each other. Family therapists maintain that the reason we’re attracted to someone at this very deep level is that basically they are like us in a psychological sense. Others suggest that the very act of falling in love set in motion old patterns of how we love.

Love at first sight is a common trope in Western literature, in which a person, character, or speaker feels romantic attraction for a stranger.The name Romeo, in popular culture, has become nearly synonymous with “Lover.” Romeo and Juliet, does indeed experience a love of such purity and passion, that he kills himself when he believes that the object of his love, Juliet died.  The power of Romeo’s love however, often obscures a clear vision of Romeo’s character, which is far more complex. Even Romeo’s relation to love is not so simple. Mean while Juliet’s first meeting with Romeo propels her full-force toward adulthood. All of this started with a glance. I wonder how many of us “love” at first glance? I wonder…

Rosie The Riveter

Rosie the Riveter is a cultural icon of the United States, representing the American women who worked in factories during World War Two, many of whom produced munitions and war supplies.

 These women sometimes took entirely new jobs replacing the male workers who were in the military. Rosie the Riveter is commonly used as symbol of feminism and women’s economic power.

The term “Rosie the Riveter” was first used in 1942 in a song of the same name written by Redd Evans and John Loeb. The song was recorded by many artists, including the popular big band leader Kay Kyser, and became a national hit.

 The song portrays ” Rosie” as a tireless assembly line worker, doing her part to help American war effort. The words of the song are: All the day long. Whether rain or shine, She’s part of the assembly line. She’s making history. Working for victory, Rosie the Riveter.

Although women took on male dominated trades during World War two, they were expected to return to their everyday housework once men returned from the war. Government campaigns targeting women were addressed solely at housewives, perhaps because already employed women would move up to the higher-paid essential jobs on their own, perhaps because it was assumed that most would be housewives. One government advertisement asked women “Can you use an electric mixer? If so, you can learn to use a drill.

 Propaganda was also directed at their husbands, many of whom were unwilling to support such jobs. Later, many women returned to traditional work such as clerical or administration positions, despite their reluctance to re-enter the lower paying fields. However, some of these women continued working in the factories.

Rosie the Riveter became most closely associated with another real women, Rosie Will Monroe. She worked as a riveter at the Willow Run Aircaft Factory in Michigan, building B-29 and B-24 bombers for the U. S. Army Air Forces.

Monroe achieved her dream of piloting a plane when she was in her 50s and her love of flying resulted in an accident that contributed to her death 19 years later. Monroe was asked to star in a promotional film about the war effort at home. The song Rosie the Riveter” was popular at the time and Monroe happened to match the woman depicted in the song.

Rosie went on to become perhaps the most widely recognized icon of the era. The films and posters she appeared in were used to encourage women to go to work in support of the war effort.

According to the Encyclopedia of American Economic History, “Rosie the Riveter” inspired a social movement that increased the number of working American women to 20 million by 1944, a 57% increase from 1940. By 1944 only 1.7 million unmarried men between the ages of 20 and 34 worked in the defense industry,while 4.1 million unmarried between those ages did so. What unified the experiences of these women was that they proved to themselves and the country that they could a “man’s job” and could do it well. The average man working in a wartime plant was paid $54.65 per week, while women were paid about $31.50 per week.

Some claim that she forever opened the work force for women, while others dispute that point, noting that many women were discharged after the war and their jobs were given to returning servicemen.

These critics claim that when peace returned few women returned to their wartime positions and instead resumed domestic vocations or transferred into sex-type occupations such as clerical and service work.

Some historians emphasize that the changes were temporary and that immediately after the war was over women were expected to return to traditional roles of wives and mothers. Finally for the first time the working woman dominated the public image and women were riveting housewives in slacks, not mother domestic beings, or civilizers.”

On October 14,200, the Rosie the Riveter/ World War Two Home Front National historical Park was opened. In Richmond, California, site of the four Kaiser shipyards, where thousands of “Rosie’s” from around the country worked. Although ships at the Kaiser shipyards were not riveted, but rather welded. Over 200 former Rosie’s attended the ceremony.

 Most recently Christina Aguilera, emulates the famous Andrews Sisters vocal harmonies of the WW-Two Era. While wearing a red bandanna and shot with the era’s vintage Technicolor processing scheme, Christina gives the famous “Rosie” pose, with fist-up, and right hand on biceps. What is it about “Rosie the Riveter” that we just can’t seem to get enough of?

The Song In Dreams By Roy Orbison

 A dream is an especially difficult thing to describe and dreams aren’t concrete until they come to pass.

 Before then they are like clouds and when both of us look at a cloud you may see one thing while I see another. And the picture you see in one moment may quickly change when the first wind comes along.

 As time goes by-a day, a week, or a year-you may not even remember what you saw. That’s why they say one way to make you dream more concrete is to write it down the second it comes to you because it can flee as fast as it comes. When it comes to giving voice and life to their dreams most people need some help.

Roy Orbison is an American singer-songwriter and he is well-known for his distinctive, powerful voice, complex compositions, and dark emotional ballads.

The Words To Roy Orbison’s song “In Dreams” for the ones we love and are gone.

In Dreams a candy colored clown they call the Sandman. Tiptoes to my room every night just to sprinkle star-dust and to whisper: ” Go to sleep, everything is alright” I close my eyes then I drift away into the magic night. I softly say oh, smile and pray Like dreamers do. Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you, in dreams…I walk with you. In dreams…I talk to you.

In dreams your mine all the time we’re together In dreams… In dreams. But just before the dawn I awake and find you gone. I can’t help it …I can’t help it. If I cry. I remember that you said goodbye to end all these things and I’ll be happy in my dreams. Only in dreams in beautiful dreams I love to dream especially when I have a beautiful dream about someone I love. Don’t you?

A Superstitious Bride…

Being superstitions: Is the belief that an object or an action will have influence on one’s life.  Many brides believe that she can ensure good luck in her marriage by wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.

  As we were preparing for my wedding my girlfriends and I read many books and bride      magazines.

 The one recurring theme was that wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue would ensure good luck in a marriage. After reading that we decided that the only way to break the “Gary” curse and to ensure good luck in my marriage was to wear a lot of the color blue. The reasoning behind this was because a number of women in my family and life had either fallen in love or married men named Gary and they didn’t have good luck.

 The something borrowed was my grandmothers engagement ring. (My dad’s mother). Which I returned to her a few months later. We picked her ring because I loved her my grandparents and they were married longer than anyone we knew. They ended up being happily married for over sixty years The something new was a blue and white lace garter given to me by my friend Gale. It was new and blue so we figured that would count for double luck.                     

 To ensure good luck for sure “ The something blue” was going to have to be my wedding dress. Our guests where surprised that I didn’t wear a traditional white wedding dress. We didn’t care about what people thought because after all a bride needs all the good luck she can get doesn’t she?  That was forty years ago and I still get comments about a young bride who dared to wear a blue wedding dress.

Kids Say The Darndest Things…

Kids PlayingKids Say the Darndest Things” was a segment on a television show called House PartyArt  Linkletter was the host on CBS radio and television for many years and his interviews were never scripted, the kids said what they really thought. It could have been called “Straight Talk.”  One thing we can count on is that children are still saying the darndest things and they never stop surprising us. Do they? Sometime you just have to wonder how do they come up with some of the questions they ask us grandparents. Don’t we?  Like for instance a few years ago a friend was telling me about a conversation she had the night before with her four-year old grandson while they where watching Cat In The Hat together.

He looked into her eyes and said, Nana you have lines on your face. Then she said, I’m an old person with old skin. You’re a little person, and you have young skin. She figured that was the end of the conversation but then to her surprise he said, Nana when are you going to get them fixed?  My other Nana is old, and she doesn’t have lines on her face.  Wow! He sure is lucky that his Nana has a good sense of humor. Isn’t he?  As she was sharing her experience with me, we laughed at how unexpected his response was. Then I couldn’t help but wonder. How would have Art Linkletter or Billy Crosby reacted if they had that same conversation with a four-year old boy? I can only image the audience laughing because he is such an adorable little boy and enjoys making everyone he meets laugh. This goes to show that grandparents need to remember kids say the darndest things and to keep a good sense of humor.

Mrs. Doubtfire Are We Still A Family?

In the movie Mrs.Doubtfire a little girl named Katie Mc Komcick writes a letter to Mrs.Doubtfire asking this question: If my parents are separated are we still a family? 

 Uunfortunately this is a question that many children are asking their parents and grandparents in today’s society and Mrs. Doubtfire’s response it worth taking to heart. 

The plot of the movie is about Miranda played by Sally Field who is an interior designer and decides to divorce her husband Daniel because he is irresponsible. Being a working mother of three children she decides to hire a housekeeper and after interviewing many candidates she hires Mrs. Doubtfire who turns out to be her ex husband Daniel played by Robin Williams.

The reason that Daniel decided to create the persona that he was a lovely Scottish sixty year old woman who was seeking a position as a housekeeper was so that he could spend time with his children after to courts said that he could only see  them on  Saturdays. As time goes on Mrs. Doubtfire wins the hearts of Miranda and their children then Mirada discovers that Mrs. Doubtfire is her ex husband and agrees to allow him to see their children as much as he wants.

Mean while Daniels luck changes when he appears as Mrs. Doubtfire in a children’s television program called “Euphegenia House” and it becomes the top rated television show in that time slot.

One day while Mrs. Doubtfire is relaxing in an oversized wingback chair and she receives a letter written by a little girl named Katie and in the letter she asks Mrs. Doubtfire this question: Are we still a family?

Dear Mrs. Doubtfire,

Two months ago my mom and dad decided to separate and not live in the same  house . My brother Andrew said we are not to be a family anymore. Is this true?  Am I to lose my family?  Is there anything I can do to bring them back together?  Mrs. Doubtfire’s response is wonderful and one we should all take to heart.

Dear Katie Mc Komcick,

Some parents when they are angry get along better when they don’t live together sometimes they don’t get back together and sometimes they do. But don’t blame yourself just because they don’t love each other anymore it doesn’t mean they don’t love you and there are many different kinds of families. 

What words of wisdom every child whose parents are separated or divorced needs to be told such kind words of wisdom and have a Mrs. Doubtfire type of women in their lives don’t they?

Isn’t it awesome that the Mrs. Doubtfire’s in our lives come in all kinds of shapes and sizes they may be your Grandmother, Aunt, Neighbor or a Teacher.

They are the ones that we hold close to our hearts because they unconditionally love us through thick and thin, they are our super hero‘s and we are super hero’s in their eyes too.

 They may not be a relative but they are like having an Aunt, Mother, Grandmother and a Best Friend all rolled up in one woman. They are truly amazing aren’t they? They’re down to earth, smart, funny and a little zany. 

They love us and our children unconditionally, they laugh and cry with us, they listen to our concerns about life and they tell us what they think instead of telling us what we want to hear. Some day you might be asked the question.  Are we still a family?  Although the answer may be no not a nuclear family make sure you reassure them that they still belong to a family and are loved. The relationship with your children is more important than the problems between the adults.