Category Archives: Romace

Let Go And Surrender

Posted in Dreams, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

Letting go is an emotional and spiritual surrender. It means willingly jumping out of the lifeboat of your preconceptions of reality and taking your chances out in the open sea of anything-can-happen.

It means that even as your definition of reality is dissolving before your very eyes, you willingly relinquish it, instinctively comprehending that the state of surrender itself will be a creative condition. It’s hard to let go, to live in a formless, destinationless place. All our lives we’re taught to hold on, to be the masters of our fate, the captains of our souls. Letting go isn’t comfortable; it can feel like anything from laziness to utter loss of control. It’s not aggressive and self-assured. It’s not the American way.

But letting go is, in truth, is a most elegant kind of daring. It is vulnerability of the highest order, an emptying out of self, of all the clutter, chatter, ideas, attitudes, schemes, and plans that, ordinarily, we all contain. In this emptiness, there is room for so much; in this vacancy, anything can happen: breathtaking transformations, changes of directions, miracles that will purely astound you, love that comes out of a spiritual conversion. But only if you are willing to truly let go of it all: as the tree dropping her bright leaves for winter, the trapeze artist, suspended in midair between two bars, the diver free-falling from the high dive, have all unequivocally, wholeheartedly let go.

Letting go is being alive to the power of anything is possible. It is living in surrender, trust, and the belief that emptiness is at once the perfect completion and the perfect beginning. So let go. And remember that if you hang on to even a shred or try to make a deal with Gods meaning of letting go you might not experience all the wonderful things that are ment happen to you.

The Sweet Knowings Of Love

Posted in Brides, family, generational changes, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

The journey of love is a journey of many sweet knowings. It is the sweet bliss, in first love, of discovering all your love’s little secrets, her favorite flower and fragrance, the color that sets off her eyes so; his plaid flannel shirts, the way he laces up his boots, his shaving brush, and that one wild hair in his eyebrow; the scent of her skin, the feel of her hair, the drawer she keeps her lingerie in.

It is later the being together and love becomes the sound of the key as he locks up the house, the sound of the rain in the shower each morning as she is singing and shampoos her hair. It is how she rolls over at night in bed, how he sleeps like a saint, with his hands folded over his chest; it is what he can fix; what she can mend. And it is the changing, this way and that way.

Sometimes there are unkind words spoken the anger and love in the mist; making love, holding hands. And the children, wanting, not being sure about wanting them; being scared, and so overjoyed and seeing them sleeping and carried at night in his arms; how he is so tender, how she is so easy, so strong with them.

It is watching the years go by they come and go and come and go and then they just seem to Go and Go. Autumn and spring and winter and summer. So slowly and endlessly beautifully folding, unfolding so quickly go. And how we have done every year, so many things and so few. Each day, and the meals and the work and the talk.

Each day a small town with a map and the trip they have taken in it. And the walks and the light and the changing of the light and how they have traveled. And how they have given the gifts. At Christmas, birthdays, wedding  anniversaries and just because. They want to remember all the words they have written on cards. The things they have said and the things they have whispered to each other. I love you, good night and I adore you. You are my one and only.

And how time has passed He has grown old and he has white in his hair and the fine thin lines of his life and sun are remaking his eyes. He notices that her eyes softer now but still blue and even after so many years and the fading he still loves her. He still loves the scent of her perfume after all these years. 

She still loves how he after all these years he still sleeps with his hands folded over his chest and the scent of his after shave lotion. They love remembering now and not forgetting why they love each other. He said for them it’s been like a long love song that tells the story of how they have melted, woven themselves, befriended, ensouled one another.

 Now that they are here at the end of their lives that they know one another so well, like the bird knows the air like the snowdrift knows the snow; and how he said long a go, until we know each other like the seasons; and now it is spring; and now it is summer now it is autumn now it is winter; and we know we know, that love is endless and we will know each other in eternity too.

Love Letters Speak Of Secret Wishes

Posted in Dreams, generational changes, Keepsakes, Letters, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

A love letter is a declaration that speaks of secret wishes, shared joy, or lasting A love letter is the most intimate correspondence a person can receive.

 With in its lines promises given, and fond memories recalled. Within its lines secret desires are made known through divine inspiration.

Written in elegant scrip on scented stationary or scrawled haphazardly on a scrap of paper, mailed from across the seas, hidden in a bouquet of roses, or tucked between the pages of an album, a love letter is to be cherished always. Love letters are precious reminders of heart-felt sentiments. They may bring encouragement and reassurance to the pining heart. It’s a reminder that says, “We’ll be together soon.” Or they may be simple reminders that say “I’m thinking about you. You make me smile.”

Whatever their purpose, love letters are received with joy and anticipation. Then saved in special places. Maybe in a dresser drawer, under mattress, ribbon-tied in a hope chest, or secreted away n a quiet corner. They are kept to be lovingly revisited for many years to comes. Over time, letters may become worn and tear-stained, but the meaning of their words remain as true as the day they were written.

Every day, thousands of people visit web sites seeking advice and suggestions about love and romance. Today I read that  hand written ” love letters” are still holding their place in the hearts of lovers. Men and women are happy to receive a love letter by Email. However receiving a love letter through the postal service still ranks number one, in the hearts of women everywhere. 

Call Her Sweetheart

Posted in family, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace by

Your loves name is more than a word. When you say his or her name aloud or in your head, it evokes everything, all your memories, all the time you’ve spent together, all the trips you’ve made, the children you’ve had, and the obstacles you’ve overcome. Some people only say their partner’s name when they’re angry, they want something, or they’re yelling or complaining.

The  name loses its valuable identity and becomes associated with negative feelings. So make sure you use your loves name with tenderness, caring and emotion as often as you can. Each time you say it that way, you’ll be filled with love. Dear… Honey…Snookums…Baby…Lover…Kid… Sweetheart… They show you care, especially when your love saves them just for you. But they’re not the same as saying someone’s name. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care when you call their name out.

Some parents call each other Mom and Dad, imitating their children. This may sound cute, but it removes your individuality and replaces it with a role. So it’s better to reserve those titles for your children’s use. Sweetheart it’s best to use an enduring name for each other.

Fight The Good Fight

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No relationship is without conflict and differences of opinions, preference, and even direction and a relationship is only as good as the conflict it can contain.

 This means that a relationship has vitality only to the degree that it can endure the stresses of each difference and resolve them through healthy conflict, so that the relationship and the individuals in it can move toward greater authenticity.

Then notion of the totally tranquil, we-never-fight relationship as the paragon of love is a dangerous fallacy. All too often the persons in such a situation are scared to death of testing the resilience of their relationship by airing their real differences, or have so suppressed their individual selves that their differences seem invisible.

Many couples are scared of conflict because they don’t know how to fight. They are afraid their own anger will run away with them, that they’ll lose control and become vicious, vituperative, or even physically destructive. They maybe afraid of the other person’s anger. They wonder will he or she yell, throw things, slam the door, or maybe walk out?

These behaviors can sometimes occur and can even be a real danger, especially for people who have been abused with anger themselves. But even they can learn to express anger in a constructive way.The sign of a good fight is that it makes you both feel you have discovered something, that you know one another better.

Even if you fight again and again about the same issues (and most people do), a good fight gives you hope about the future because you have gained a measure of insight about something that previously baffled or frustrated you. Here’s some help:

1. Try to see what you’re upset about. This is usually something very specific:”That he or she didn’t call you” not “Because life is miserable.”

2. State your feelings and why you feel that way: “I’m upset that you didn’t call because it makes me feel unloved.”

3. Say what you need in recompense: ” I need you to apologize.”

4. After your mate has given the apology, ask yourself and him or her if you feel totally resolved.

5. Kiss and make up.

For example: “I’m upset with you for yelling at me about burning the tea kettle. You embarrassed me in front of Jane. It made me feel belittled to have to have her hear you talk to me like that. I need you to apologize.” I’m sorry, honey. I was in such a rush this morning and was anxious about that big meeting. I was out of line. I don’t want to make you feel that way. Please forgive me.”  

 

This kind of fight could win the  “Academy Awards for the Most Civilized Fight”. There are many people who agree to disagree about an offense and make it a point to resolve it in a timely manner.

They never go to bed upset with each other. Yes! They do deserve an award for being the kind of people that we all should aspire to be like. Don’t they?

You can learn to be gracious when someone offends you. To start with try to remember.

1. A good fight isn’t a free for all. Don’t say everything you feel like saying even though you may have a legitimate gripe. Remember that words can wound, and after the fight you don’t want a battered mate.

2. Be specific with your complaints. Don’t throw in all your grievances since time began.

3. Let the other person’s words sink in before you take up your cudgel. Remember, you’re having this fight to learn something, to arrive at some new insight as well as an immediate resolution.

4. Go easy on yourself and your honey when you don’t do it perfectly.

Make Every Day You’re In Love Memorable

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When you’re in love, every day should be considered, memorable. Every good-morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle. As the years of your couplehood fly by, you accumulate a house full of furniture, an attic full of old clothes, a heart full of children, a garage full of treasured junk, and one mind, shared by two people full of golden memories. You’re not conscious of making memories. A walk down the aisle, a period of tropical bliss, a toddler’s first steps, and a family vacation may stand out, but the majority of your precious minutes together on earth are not so easily held onto.

 Can you possibly remember every shared moment? Of course not. But while so many thousands of events can’t possibly  stick out in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like they will. Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together, by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you when they’re occurring.

 For instance don’t just kiss perfunctorily. Put more energy in your hugs. Look your partner in the eyes, and it when you say “I love you.” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot richer.

New Love Needs Time To Grow

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It’s great to reach for the stars. Just don’t be disappointed if you only get as far as the moon. Love that detonates like an exploding star can disappear into the cosmos just as quickly. Love that grows slowly may never burn quite as brightly as a supernova, but it may deliver more energy over the long run. Remember it only takes a spark to start a raging fire. Many people are out there searching for their perfect soul mates. They may not know exactly what a soul mate is, but they think they’ll recognize the right person when he or she comes along.

Perfection is a wonderful goal. Always settling for second-best can lead to a lifetime of disappointment. But since nobody is perfect, you could spend a lifetime searching and wind up getting nowhere.

So you find a partner. Maybe he or she isn’t perfect or the one you pictured as your “Soul Mate,” but there is definitely some chemical reaction going on between you or you wouldn’t be together. Could it bubble or boil more strongly? Perhaps. Would that chemical reaction be stronger with someone else?  Maybe. But don’t be too quick to abandon a relationship because your partner doesn’t fit the definition of “Soul Mate.”

The French call that feeling of instantaneous love Le coup de foudre, the lightning bolt. Luckily, the odds of being hit by real lightning are small unless you live in Alabama.  Maybe unluckily, the odds of being hit by le coup de foudre are also small, but at least it’s not the only way to find true love.

We live in a world of instant gratification, and that often means we end up being less satisfied. Fast food doesn’t compare to a meal that took hours to prepare. Ready-to-wear clothes never fit as well as those that are hand tailored. So just because a relationship takes some work on the parts of both people to come together, it doesn’t mean that it’s filled with any less passion that one that sparked at a first glance. In the long run, it may actually provide a lot more heat than a relationship that starts off quickly but then peters out as fast as it began. Don’t expect to find an instant soul mate. New love needs time to grow, but when both people work at it, the rewards can be incredible.

Fifteen Ways To Kiss Your Love

Posted in Kissing, Life, Love, Moms, relationships, Romace by

The days of true romance and passion are back. Kissing your love no longer needs to be a routine event bordering on the tedious.  Put some fire  back into your romance with a different kind of kiss.

 Whatever the mood or the time, there is a kiss to fit the  moment.

You and your love can continually discover new and exciting ways to kiss in unique ways. Here is a list of fifteen fun ways to kiss your love.

  1. The Great Expectation Kiss: Inform your love one morning that he or she will soon receive a fabulous kiss. Later, call your love with a reminder. Then the next you see your love, pull out the stops and plant a long, hot passionate kiss.
  2. Goodbye Surprise Kiss: Send off your love in the morning with a quick kiss. As your love turns to leave, pull him or her back for a second, more passionate kiss.
  3. The Full Moon Kiss: The next time there is a full moon take your love someplace where the two of you can smooch by moonlight. A full moon can be very romantic.
  4. The forewarned Kiss: Leave your love a note alerting him or her about where you will be kissing him or her later. When you two meet next… watch out!
  5.   The S.W.A.K. Kiss: Write a love letter and seal it with a kiss.
  6. The Rose and Violet Kiss: Place a rose and a violet on your love’s pillow with the note: “Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.” I may be at work, but my thoughts are of kissing you.”
  7. The Answering Machine Kiss: After the beep, leave a long, sloppy kissing sound and the message, “There’s more where that came from!”
  8. Eventful Kiss: Tell your love that for a kiss, you will provide a big surprise. Upon receipt, present your love with a pair of tickets to his or her favorite event (e.g. Football, Opera, Theater). Whether you like it or not, agree to go with your love.
  9. The Car Door Kiss: Just before you or your love opens the car door, give them an unexpected kiss.
  10. Welcome Home Kiss: Greet your love at the door with a big warm kiss and a cheerful “Glade you’re home.” Take his or her baggage, direct to a comfortable chair, remove shoes, and hand him or her the remote control and their favorite dessert.
  11. The Network Kiss: Is your love a subscriber to one of the personal computer networks? If so, send him or her kisses through the electronic mail function. If not, just post a note for all to read espousing your love’s puckering prowess.
  12. The Couch Cornering Kiss: In 1936 author Hugh Morris proclaimed the best way to kiss your love was to first corner him or her against the arm of a sofa. “First flatter them, then grab hold and finally move in for the kiss.”
  13. The Blow Kiss: This one is funny. The two of you puff out your cheeks with air. Now, zero in for a kiss, keeping your eyes open and trying not to laugh.
  14. The Vow Kiss: Think of a vow you would like to share with your love and memorize it. Then, standing a few feet apart, face your love hand-in-hand, and recite your vow. Afterward, both close your eyes and lean forward until your lips meet in a kiss.
  15. The Reconcile Kiss: Hate reconciling your checking account? Make a deal with your love to be kissed any way they want if the check book is successfully balanced.

 I hope you and your love continually discover new and exciting ways to kiss each other for many more years to come.

To Console Is To Comfort

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To console is to comfort with your words, with your hands, with your heart, and with your prayers.  To console is to mourn with one another and thereby divide the power of the loss. In consoling you make yourself and the person you care about less alone.

You listen from the innermost place in her or his soul, respond from the most generous part of yourself to the neediest part of him or her. More, perhaps, than we would like to acknowledge, life is infused with tragedy. Everybody is given burdens of heart that are almost too much to bear; we all have sorrows and heartaches that bring into landscapes of pain that at times seem untraversable.

 There are times when we feel that what we are experiencing will utterly devour or destroy us. To be aware of this is to know how immense the need for consolation is. Faced with midst, we can do nothing but attempt to extend the healing gift even if we feel totally unequipped to offer it.

For no matter how inadequate our unpracticed gestures may seem, they will surely reach into the place that is aching for solace. Consolation is a spiritual undertaking. It begins with the state of grace that gives us wisdom and is one of our highest callings to abide there a while with one another.

We all need to be willing to act as physicians of the spirit for one another during the painful times. For it is when we are assaulted by the visitation of life’s sorrows that we most need to feel the presence of love. It’s when we are broken-hearted that we need to be ministered to, when we are in grief that is when we need to be taken into the presence of God’s grace and love.

The Notion Of Love As Service

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Most of the time we think of love in terms of what love can do for us, imagining that when we “fall in love,” all our dreams will come true.

We want so badly to have our own feelings recognized, our own needs met, our own insecurities handled, and our own desires fulfilled that the notion of love as service is almost inconceivable to us. We can get so caught up (or bogged down) in the notion of love as a what will I get out of the experience that the idea of serving another is extremely distasteful.  At a deeper level, we’re afraid that by serving we might lose the sense of our selves we’ve worked so hard to attain.  But in its purest state, love is service,  a wholehearted offering so satisfying that it doesn’t feel like service at all, but rather self-fulfilment of the highest order.

Most of us still need practice for this particular outreach of love. We’re not sure how to serve or what our true service might be, and we haven’t  practiced serving  to such a degree that it feels second nature, graceful, or effortless to us.  The truth is that we’re all already serving in one form or another. If you’re a parent, you’re serving your children.  If you’ve cared for an invalid neighbor or an aging parent, you have also served in love. If you’ve bandaged the wing of a wounded bird, given a homeless person a dollar, saved a stranger from drowning, given up your set on the bus, then you too have served in love. These are the seedings of service , the places where our hearts have started to open, but should you choose to have your service grow into a huge and sheltering tree, you will be given many opportunities to mature your gift  of true service.

Begin by asking yourself the following questions: What does it mean to serve? What would my true service be? How can I develop my service so it can truly become a gift of love?  Service in love is temporarily sitting aside your own needs, wants, and priorities and allowing the needs, want and priorities and allowing the needs of another human being to become radiant, so vivid, and so pertinent that, for a moment, your own are dissolved. This gracious moment is love, and the more we live in the practice of service, the more we create this love. For when we serve one another, we also serve the great cause of Love with grace.

Choose To Honor The Opposite Sex

Posted in Life, Love, Romace, Women by

It seems all most strange that we must actually encourage or instruct ourselves to respect the opposite sex. Doesn’t it?  Yet, unfortunately, because for decades we have been so bombarded with attitudes, articles, and books that underline the differences between men and women, we now live in a world where we are surrounded by antagonism between the sexes. For the sake of union in society and in our intimate relationships we really must consciously choose now to honor the opposite sex.

Honoring means remembering to value, cherish, holding dear, celebrating rather than disparaging one another. When we hold dear and celebrate, rather than disparaging the differences between men and woman we are honoring each other. Honoring one another is to remember the beauty, enjoying all the contrasts, and savoring in clarity the blessings of the other. It means not building walls out of differences, but delighting in each beautiful, and amusing counterpart of our opposite gender’s hilarious uniqueness.

It also means moving from the surface to the depths, realizing that beneath the familiar costumes of gender we all embody a similar evolving consciousness, that inside we all carry as great emotional treasure the exquisite array of feelings. A man’s grief over the death of his father is not less real than a woman’s grief over the loss of her mother. A man’s heart will be as poignantly, beautifully touched by a breathtaking sunset, the rustle of cottonwood leaves in Yosemite, or a cool, crystalline autumn morning as a woman’s. At the core we all moved by our sorrows and by the magnificence and miracles that touch us, not  as men or women, but as human beings.

To know this is to relax the wearying focus on our differences, to come graciously into the knowing that what we live and suffer in common, and that real love, love in the soul, is beyond male and female, beyond gender as an issue at all.

I’ll Always Choose You

Posted in Brides, Dreams, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

I’ll always choose you! When you choose to love one person in a special, committed way, you are unchoosing or giving up your option to choose all others, for a time at least, in that same particular way.

The feeling of “being in love”  is the raving experience that makes us willing, even daredevilishly eager, to make these sacrifices. It’s a joy to choose one above all others, a delight to feel graced and blessed by their uniquely delicious and heartwarming presence.

But this choosing, grand as it is and willing as we are to make it, it is also symbolic of the many choices, little renunciations, and revisions of priority that, for love, we shall come to make as we walk the path of relationship. There’s a great deal we do (or discontinue doing) precisely and only because we love.

 When Jane fell in love with Brand she postponed graduate school to take care of Brands two little girls, whose mother died of cancer. Jane did this with no regrets and a lot of love. Later in life when the girls left home to go to college Jane went back and finished her postponed educational goals.

Jane’s brother Dan moved out of the house he’d built for himself to live in the town where Jen, his new love, lived. She was a tenured professor and couldn’t move to the town where Dan lived. The corporation that Dan works for transferred him to an office in the town that Jen lived in.

Dan excepted the job transfer and proposed to Jen. Hooray! Jen said yes. One year later they had a little girl. Dan has no regrets because he made those compromises out of love. Oh, he still owns the house that he built and hopes that when they retire they will live in it but if not he is willing to compromise because he loves Jen more than the house he built.

Such revisions are only the tip of the iceberg. Each day, in love, you will be faced with decisions and choices, invited to make compromises that represent a willingness to meet the one you love halfway on the playing field of love. Thus, you may find yourself adapting to uncomfortable  schedules or meticulous (or sloppy) housekeeping habits (the proverbial toothpaste folded up wrong or far too perfectly), taking vacations you never imagined ( but ended up loving anyway), preparing food you never even liked. or entering into financial arrangements that stretch your equanimity to the limit.

A compromise for love needs to be just that: a conscious revision of your own preferences. As such, it becomes a creative, imaginative act, and surprisingly beautiful frame. But, above all it shows you the depth of your love. For when we smooth off the corners of our own dogmatic priorities, we reach toward one another. In so doing, we see that love, the deep recognition of the soul of the one we love.

 In the spiritual journey of love it is our soul who choose us for each other. We meet through the eyes of the pulse. we do not choose, but each is chosen for this love, This path, this new green road, this first kiss, the single beating heart, the compromises made for love. This us!

Saying Wedding Vows Wouldn’t Change Him

Posted in Brides, Dreams, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by

A wedding is a wonderful day it’s a celebration of your love.  It’s a tying of the knot it’s the making of two lives into one. It’s a contact for life.

But as wonderful as a wedding may be it does not posses supernatural powers . 

The two people who get married are not going to be any different after they exchange wedding vows than they were before. That may seem obvious, yet it comes as a surprise to many people who believe that after they are married, they will be able to change their spouses into someone else.

Were it only so but it’s not people don’t change they may deviate from their norm a bit. They may say they’ll do better and they may make promises. They may give it the old college try but they won’t change. It’s not because they don’t want to it’s because they can’t. Some traits are just hard-wired into the brain. Some bodies won’t get smaller. Some people are so addicted that it takes them years to change and counting on such changes happening can lead to disappointment.

 So instead of thinking of your wedding day as the day your spouse becomes someone new think of it as the day you finally accept your spouse just the way her or she already is. Don’t enter into marriage expecting to change your spouse into a hard worker, a neatnik, a good dresser, a blond, a nonsmoker, a saver, a spender, a size smaller, a teetotaler, a person who only eyes for you if he or she has been unfaithful to you before you say your wedding vows.

If you buy a compact car it won’t turn into a SUV overnight in your garage, no matter how much you try to wish it would. Don’t expect your new spouse to similarly transform just because her or she walked down the aisle with you.

When your partner makes a change because it pleases you, it is really one of the ultimate signs of love. But if you tell your partner that you’re going to stop smoking, for example, and then you can’t. You’ve put your relationship at risk as well your health.  So don’t make rash promises in the name of love. It won’t make such promises any easier to keep, and it might make your life much tougher when you break them.

Don’t wait until you are blind-sided by sudden crises, tragedy or anger because the person you walked down the aisle with didn’t change. Don’t make promises you can’t keep make the changes before you walk down the aisle because the day you exchange vows doesn’t magical change your habits. Sometimes not exchanging vows until the two of you seek premarital counselling can prevent such crises.

 So don’t make rash promises in the name of love you can’t keep it makes life much tougher when you break them. Just talk to anyone who has ever exchanged wedding vows with good intentions and thought love would change their issues. Good Luck…

 

When We Accept What Is

Posted in Dreams, family, Family Values, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

We usually mosey into relationships seeing their obvious possibilities, imagining specified outcomes, cocooning them with our own expectations.

But what actually occurs is often shockingly different from what we expected.

 The person you wanted to marry has a phobia about commitment. The woman you knew would make a great mother decides to go off to law school.

The suitor with the bottomless trust fund decides to give away all his money and live in a cave. Surprising revisions can happen on even at the simplest levels: “When I fell in love with him, he was wearing a black cashmere sweater and a pair of black dress pants; but after I married him, all he would wear was sweatshirts, his favorite sports hats and jeans.”

Expectations come in two forms: general and specific. General expectations have to do with our dreams and plans for a specific relationship that it will lead to marriage, that it will bring you children, that it will make you “happy.” Specific expectations have to do with what we think we can count on day-to-day – he’ll take out the trash, she’ll handle the kids in a way I approve of. On one level, these expectations are all quite reasonable;  it’s appropriate to have long-range plans and goals, and it’s legitimate to expect specific kinds of participation from your partner.

But when your relationship becomes a litany of failed expectations— what you hoped for but didn’t get—– its time to look at what’s happening from an entirely different perspective. Perhaps, instead of needing to “communicate better” or “negotiate your differences” on an emotional level, you’re being asked, on a spiritual level, to learn to accept what is.

Accepting — finding a way to be comfortable with things as they are—- is actually a very developed spiritual state. It means that you’re relinquished the preconceptions of your ego and surrendered to what’s been given to you. Maybe he’s not the provider you hoped for, but his spiritual strength is a constant inspiration; perhaps she’s not the housekeeper you wanted, but the way she nurtures your children is absolutely beautiful.

Acceptance allows your spirit to grow. When you’re able to recognize the little  miracles and great lessons that replace your expectations, you suddenly discover that what you hoped for— was pitifully puny compared to what was actually held in store for you. And in a way far more complex and elegant than you could have imagined, your life is following a sacred design. 

 So if you want a life that is larger than life and a relationship that is finer than even your wildest hopes, peel back your expectations and start to accept the good in what is.  (This only applies to mentally stable people.)