Category Archives: relationships

Stella’s Honeymoon On Hamburgers, Milkshakes And Love

Posted in Brides, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, traditions, Women by

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

After Stella graduated from high school, she couldn’t afford college, so she went to nurse’s training school at the general hospital in her home town.

One day one of her patient’s son told her he was really crazy about her friend Betty, who was working on the ward with her, and asked if she could get him a date.

She said, “I’ll try. Betty said, Okay, but that she would not go out on a single date. “So he asked two guys, and I Stella asked another girl, and they went on a triple date. On the day of the date Stella had spent all afternoon at the beach sun bathing, she was red as a beet, her hair was a mess, and she really didn’t want to go.

At the last-minute Stella managed to pull herself together anyway and as she was walking down the stairs she saw the three guys sitting there, and she said to her friend, “Look at the hick; I’ll bet I get stuck with him.” And she did. She knew that he didn’t have any money. They wanted to stop for a hamburger, french fries and a milkshake, and he just frankly told her. “I can’t afford it.” Somehow or other that seemed honest to her. She said, ” Let’s just sit in the car and talk.” And talk they did. They talked themselves right into love and marriage. The next day she called him, they decided they wanted to see each other again and made plans to have lunch together.

When Dave went to the hospital to pick her up and unfortunately Stella wasn’t there. Dave waited for her longer that day than he had waited for anybody in his life. He wasn’t mad, he was disgusted  and wrote Stella off. After all no one did that to him, so he went back to work. 

Three days later Stella called him and explained to him that she had to attend a nurses luncheon and had left a note for Betty to give to him and Betty forgot to. Dave accepted her apology. Dave and Stella had the next Thursday off. He suggested that they go to Turkey Run State Park, which is about sixty miles from Indianapolis. That day turned out to be one of the most idyllic days of their lives.

Friday he took Stella out to the farm to meet his parents and on Saturday they spent the day with Stella’s parents. That was when her mother said to Dave, “I hope you’re not thinking about marrying my daughter, because you’ll marry her over my dead body!’  

He told her, “If I can find us a minister, we’re getting married tomorrow and no you wouldn’t die and she didn’t die!  He went out and found the same minister that had married his parents twenty-five years earlier. He pulled the minister right out of the revival meeting. His mother was an avid gardener, and had what seemed like thousands of gladiolas in full bloom.  His mother cut practically al of those glads, and the house was absolutely gorgeous with flowers everywhere they looked.

So they were married with their parents, grandparents, two best friends, his brother as his best man, and her four sisters and that was the wedding party. After the wedding ceremony Dave had twenty dollars in his pocket and borrowed forty dollars from his dad for the honeymoon, but in the rush and excitement of the wedding, he forgot to get it. They where half way to Lake Shafer on their honeymoon when they discovered that he only had a twenty in his wallet. 

So they honeymoon on twenty dollars. They found a motel for three dollars a night. They discovered a beautiful garden overlooking Lake Shafer and if they ate at the soda fountain they could order a hamburger, french fries and milkshake for seventy-five cents. So their honeymoon was for three-days and nights and they spent Dave’s twenty dollars. When they returned home Dave gave his father in law the forty dollars back.

Stella and Dave have had fifty-seven years of marriage, and never once regretted their short courtship and honeymoon on hamburgers, milkshakes and love. Stella worked as a nurse for twenty years and Dave became a doctor and they had four children but every Saturday night was hamburger, french fire and milkshake night.

Stella and Dave’s love story carries us from the excitement and anticipation of courtship to the deep connection of lifelong commitment, their story just goes to show that love is found in the most unexpected of places and in the shortest amount of time. And if you’re wondering yes this is a true story love story.

What Do Grandparents Want To Know

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms, Parenting, relationships by

Being a grandparent in today‘s world isn’t what it use to be, it’s better. If you’re already a grandparent you know that being a grandparent today isn’t just about babysitting and boasting it can be the most challenging role of your life.

 Grandparents today are so different from all other generations especially from their grandparents. A new grandparent is created every twenty seconds and if you are one of them, welcome!

There are a lot of us already statistics show that we make up one-third of the U.S. population. There are now 70 million grandparents in the United States, and 1.7 million more every year. And while there are a lot of books written to help parents who worry about their baby’s health, their baby’s size compared to the charts, and what IQboosting toys they should buy for their toddlers, there are very few books for us. Their parents. The grandparents!

Do we really need a book about grandparenting? After all, weren’t we parents already? Aren’t we founts of help and advice? Thrilled and devoted? Ready to jump in and help, but wise enough to know when to bow out and be silent? The givers of gifts, and guardians of family history? Mature? Mellow? and Marvelous?

You might be thinking yes, but… and isn’t grandparenting natural? Weren’t their grandparents long before there were books? Isn’t it instinctive? Basic? And built-in? Yes, but… haven’t we grown up watching our own grandparents in action? We had grandparents, our children have grandparents, and now our grandchildren have grandparents. It’s the way of the world, isn’t it? Yes, but… You’ll find that while your emotions may be universal and the problems are timeless, one thing is very different for today’s grandparents. We are different!

Who we really are is a question that many grandparents are asking themselves and each other in today’s society. Here is what a few grandparents are saying; We are healthier, more active, and more youthful and young at heart than our predecessors. Plus, we’re still working and working out, teaching, and learning, traveling, marrying, divorcing, remarrying, and melding our families. Grandparents today have more access to information full of tips on ways the can be the best grandparent they can be.

Our book cases are full of books about cooking, traveling, art, gardening, home improvements, investing money, how to look ten years younger, how to use our nooks, Ipads, cell phones, computers, the million apps that we can use for free, consumer reports covering the A to Z’s of any thing you could think of to buy along with the series of “Dummy Books” and let’s not forget how to be a modern grandparent.

I don’t know if there is a book called ” Grandparenting for Dummy’s” or not I just thought of that. I can tell you that if there isn’t one I’m sure someone will write one soon and it will probably be a best seller. It’s time to google Dummy Books to find out if there is a Dummy Book for Grandparents let me know.

What do grandparents today want to know? Since we are grandparents like no others, our questions are like no others. We want to know how to pick a name of ourselves. What’s wrong with “Grandpa” or “Grandma”? Nothing, but it’s often already taken, since our parents, and perhaps even their parents, are still alive. With so many grandparents, blended and melded grandparents, and great-grandparents in most families, grandparents today want to know how to be the favorite or at least, among the favorites.

We want ot know if it is normal to have “favorites,” to feel bored at times or stressed when our grandchildren visit. We want to know how to make grandchildren smile without spoiling, and help their parents provide for them financially in this bad economy without becoming a purse or a nurse.

We want to know how to handle divorce without hurting the grandchildren (our divorce, their parents’ divorce). We want to know what our daughter-in-laws really think about us and how to develop a better relationship with them so we can get even closer to our grandchildren.

Grandparents want to know so they participate in groups focused on distant granparenting, daughter-in-law problems, grandfathering, financial concerns, and much more. Lots participate in the online surveys. Many of them enjoy contributing and reading grandparent humor. I love everything about grandparenting humor and sometimes I write about something my grandson’s have just done and I find myself laughing as I am writing it’s a blast isn’t it?

Grandparents from every walk of life and from across this country are asking questions about grandparenting we want to know and if someone would write a book called “Straight Talk for Grandparents” telling us what we want to know we would appreciate it and maybe in the future our grandchildren will say thank you grandma or grandpa for believing in me. Grandparents are busy enough so a book written in plain english full of do this and do that because it is in the best interest of your children and grandchildren would help make the world of grandparenting run a lot smoother.

I want to thank my grandparents for making me feel like the smartest and most talented grandchild in the world. Doesn’t that statement just melt your heart? Take a minute and  image that your grandchildren are saying thank you Nana for making me feel like the smartest and most talented grandchild in the world. Don’t you feel all warm and tingling all over just thinking about them saying that to you? I know I do!

Happily Ever After Endings In Literature

Posted in Books, generational changes, Life, Quotes, relationships by

 The greatest storytellers and dreamers have always held out hope for tomorrow and happily ever after endings that tell of that hope. For example this famous quote: “There’s No Place Like Home” from the Wizard of Oz. 

What follows is an inspiring collection of four classic novels that are known for their happily ever endings that leave us feeling happy and hopeful.

These writers are listed among the worlds best know authors and the novels are “The Wonderful World of Oz”, “A Christmas Carol”, “Little House In The Woods,” ” The Secret Garden”, and  “Heidi.”

When we read happily ever after stories we can’t help but read them with a smile. My mother use to read happily ever after stories to me with optimistic endings. It doesn’t matter how old I get when I reread these stories for a few hours I’m a young girl again and the smile returns as I think about Dorothy, Aunt Em and my mother whose name was Dorothy and I agree there’s no place like home. Whose heart wasn’t touched by when they first watched Dorothy and all her friends as they walked down the yellow brick road in the movie “The Wizard of Oz”?

 Maybe like me you had an Aunt that reminds you of Aunt Em because she use to hold you in her arms and cover your face with kisses like Dorothy’s Aunt Em did in “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.” Don’t you just love the Aunt Em’s of the world? There’s nothing as comforting and satisfying as a happily ever ending. And if you are a book lover you enjoy curling up in a comfy chair with a heartwarming story where the last pages leave you feeling happy and hopeful. 

 As you open the pages from your best-loved authors once again you are reminded if only in life everything could work out to have a happy ending as it does in literature like in the novel ” The Wonderful World of Oz ” were the last words are; I’m so glad to be at home again!

Aunt Em had just come out of the house to water the cabbages when she looked up and saw Dorothy running toward her. “My darling child!” she cried, folding the little girl in her arms and covering her face with kisses. “Where in the world did you come from?” “From the Land of Oz,” said Dorothy gravely. ” And here is Toto too. And Oh,  Aunt Em! I’m so glad to be at home again!” ~  L. Frank Baum,  “The Wizard of Oz“

What about the novel ” A Christmas Carol” it ends with Tiny Tim saying; God bless Us, Everyone! That’s a happy ending that leaves us feeling hopeful.

And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One! ~ Charles Dickens,  “A Christmas Carol.” Remember when Ebenezer Scrooge has his change of heart, renouncing his miserly ways and vowing to live a life of charity and compassion?

Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did Not die, he was a second father.

 He became a good friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the old city knew, or any other good old city, town or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which knowing some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it was as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed; and that wa quite enough for him.

He had no further interactions with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed,  God Bless, Us Every One! ~ Charles Dickens,  “A Christmas Carol.”

 The novel “Little House in The Big Woods” written by Laura Ingalls Wilder. She is also the author of “The Little House On The Perrier” series.

 Little House in The Big Woods is a happily ever after book and the ending words are; It can never be a long time ago!  Laura lay awake a little while, listening to Pa’s fiddle softly playing and to the lonely sound of the wind in the big woods, She looked at Pa sitting on the bench hearth, the fire-light gleaming on his brown hair and beard and glistening on the honey-brown fiddle.

 She looked at Ma, gently rocking and knitting. She thought to herself, “This is now.”

She was glad that the cosy house, and Pa and Ma and the fire-light and the music, were now. They could not be forgotten, she thought, because now is now. It can never be a long time ago. ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder.

 

 

In the novel ” The Secret Garden” written by Frances Hodgson Burnett the ending words are; his eyes full of laughter walked as strongly and steadily as any boy in Yorkshire… Master Colin! Look there,” he said,” if that’s curious. Look what’s comin’ across the grass.”

When Mrs. Medlock looked she threw up her hands and gave a little shriek and every  man and woman-servant within hearing bolted across the servants’ hall and stood looking through the window with their eyes almost starting out of their heads.

Across the lawn came the Master of Misselthwaite and he looked as many of them had never seen him. and by his side with his head up in the air and his eyes full of laughter walked as strongly and steadily as any boy in Yorkshire…   Master Colin!

 

 

Remember the novel “Heidi” by Johanna Spyri?  And how much there was to tell of all the events that had taken place that last summer, for they had not had many opportunities of meeting since then. 

And it was difficult to say which of the three looked the happiest at being together again, and at the recollection of all the wonderful things that had happened. Mother Brigitta’s face was perhaps the happiest of all, as now, with the help of “Heidi’s” explanation, she was able to understand for the first time the history of Peter’s weekly penny for life.

Then at last the grandmother spoke, “Heidi, read me one of the hymns! I feel I can do anything for the remainder of my life but thank the father in Heaven for all the mercies He has shown us!”

The Wizard of Oz,  A Christmas Carol,  Little House in The Big Woods, and Heidi and many other special books fill us with a warm glow every time we read them.  In the pages of Happy Ever After Stories book lovers will relive the pleasures of their favorite literary moments, and maybe even discover a few new favorites.  

The Authors we love tell very different stories in very different times and offer something for everyone.  They manage to offer hope and inspiration to their readers with their accomplished words and evocative illustrations that make us once again believe and treasure happy endings and leave us feeling hopeful. 

 The novel ” The Wonderful World of Oz” was first published in 1902. “A Christmas Story” was first published on December 19 in 1843. “Little House in The Big Woods” was  first published in 1932. “The Secret Garden” was first published in 1911 and The novel “Heidi” was first published in 1901.

Start Where You Are

Posted in Dreams, Life, Love, Quotes, relationships, Women by

 Start where you are when you have been blind-sided by a sudden crises, tragedy, or an unwanted break up. Unplug the TV, put away the to-do lists, turn off the computer playing in your mind, and find some quiet time alone and meditate about how you are going to start where you are now. 

You may be wondering what does daffodils have to do with starting where you are? Look at this photo of daffodils field do you realize it started with just one bulb? “Start Where You Are ” one bulb at a time!

This is a lovely story about a woman who planted one of the most beautiful displays of daffodils ever seen, high up on a mountain peak surrounding her small A-frame home.

There were five acres of flowers planted in “majestic”, swirling patterns with great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow.”

A poster on her patio of her home read: “Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking.”  The first was “50,000 bulbs.” The second answer was, “Began in 1958 planting one bulb at a time, year after year for more than forty years, this woman had created something of indescribable magnificence, beauty and inspiration.

Sometimes we find ourselves at cross roads, no longer willing to do things the same old way. It may arise out of a need, an answer to a problem, or a deep soul desire felt within. You find yourself bewildered and wondering where do I start?  You’ve been so devastated that you could hardly breathe and at moments you felt crushed? 

Maybe you were broken-hearted because the man you thought you were going ot marry, your soul mate ended your relationship or maybe you married him and it didn’t work out. And to make matters worse,you worked for him.

 A few years ago my friend Linda was in that exact situation her fiancé broke up with her and she worked with him. Needles say she was feeling devastated so she called a dear friend and asked her, Where do I start?

This was the advice her friend gave her. First, if she was going to survive, the most important thing was to go to bed every night before 10:00.

She knew from her study of health that every hour of sleep we get before midnight is worth two hours after that time. She also knew that staying rested was far the most effective way to deal with stress. Anyone who’s ever gotten up in the morning without having had enough sleep knows how hard life can be when we’re tired. When challenges are accompanied by fatigue, we can feel hopeless. Linda knew she needed to be alert in order to cope with the humiliation she experienced and the demands of her work schedule. 

Linda’s friend suggested that the second thing she should do was to focus on the things she had to be grateful for. Every night before falling asleep, she started writing down at least five good things that had happened to her each day and as time went by the grew and grew.

Linda’s friend also explained this simple principle to her: When we focus on darkness, we usually allow ourselves to be taken into deeper darkness. When we focus on light meaning all that is good in our lives we attract more and more light. It’s a powerful truth: Whatever you put your attention on grows stronger in your life.

 It’s no surprise that when we focus on the negative, that’s all we can see. How often have you had five great things happen to you in your day, but when a friend asked you how it’s going, you immediately told her about the one thing that didn’t go so well?  As Linda’s dear friend said to her, “The more you believe somethings matters, the more solid and tangible they become.”

Sometimes we get so involved thinking about the past or the future that we simply forget what’s going on right in front of us. At times like these, I find it valuable to remember the advice my friend Linda applied to her situation when her life was turned up side down. She didn’t know what was going to happen down the road, but she knew she had to breathe, eat and go to work everyday. The first thing Linda did was post a sign on her refrigerator that said, Start Where You Are” one bulb at a time.

As a result Linda resigned from her job and became an owner of a flower shop where she met and married a terrific guy who is a publisher. And Linda’s list of good things that happened to her everyday grew to 365 good things that happened today and her husband published it. Linda still keeps a sign on their refrigerator that says, “Start Where You Are” one bulb at a time.

   

 


 

A Positive Attitude Changes Everything

Posted in Life, relationships by

Although happiness and life satisfaction are relatively new areas of psychology studies. A current research suggests that there is more to being happy in life than external objects like cars, luxury homes, and all the must-have gadgets money can buy. The results agree with the nine requisites that Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, eighteenth century playwright wrote of.

First was health, in order to make work a pleasure and then came wealth to support one’s needs. Other factors on his list included strength to deal with difficulty, grace to confess and abandon sin, patience, charity, love and hope. What does it take for you to feel that things are going well and that you are flouring?  How happy are you? Answer the questions in this fun, short quiz to discover your level of happiness and how contentment you are with your life.

1. How satisfied are you with your personal relationships (that is, with family, friends, and spouse or significant other)? A. Very satisfied with my personal relationships. B. I am neither satisfied nor dissatisfied but feel fortunate to have them. C. I am dissatisfied.

2. If you could change your life in any way you wanted, how much of it would you change? A. I am happy with my life and the choices I’ve made, B. I would change several things if I saw that certain areas would work better once I’d made improvements. C. I would change a lot; nothing in my life seems to be working.

3. Thinking about the level of stress in your life, how would you rate the level of stress you feel? A. Low; not much stresses me out. B. Medium; the stressors in my life are not constant but ebb and flow. C. High; most of the time it seems tha my life is driven by high drama and unrelenting stress.

4. Comparing your life to that of most other people, how would you describe yours? A. I am extremely fortunate. B. I am somewhat fortunate. C. My life is the pits.

5. How much would you change your physical appearance if you had no monetary or other restrictions? A. Nothing: I am content with the way I look. B. A little nip here and a tuck there could make a vast improvement. C. I’d change my whole appearance, get the works.

6. How happy or satisfied are you in your choice of job or career? A. I am extremely satisfied with my choice for my life’s work. B. I am somewhat satisfied, but I might be tempted to switch jobs in the future. C. I hate my job, and it’s a drag having to show up for work every day.

7. When you think about all the various aspects of your life, how would you rate your satisfaction with your life in general? A. I am highly satisfied with my life. B. I am moderately satisfied with my life but planning to make a few small changes to improve it. C. I am totally dissatisfied with my life; it sucks.

8. Rate how difficult or easy it is for you to achieve personal goals.  A.  I frequently set goals, stay focused and finish what I start: My goals are usually easy to reach. B. I sometimes set goals and although many are challenging I strive to attain them. C. I resist setting goals since I never seem to attain them.

9. Comparing your life to that of most other people, in general how do you feel about yours? A. I feel extremely fortunate. B. I feel somewhat fortunate. C. I feel dissatisfied with my life and can’t understand why nothing ever seems to go my way.

10. Imagine your ideal life. How close do you feel you are having your ideal? A. I am living life to the fullest and enjoying every minute of it, so I’d say that I’m close to having the perfect life. B. I’m still tweaking with areas of my life. Since there’s always room for improvement, I’d say I am somewhat close to having my ideal life. C. My life at present is not close at all to what I’d like my ideal life to be.

Reasons to learn how to take the positive path to happiness

 Becoming an optimist sees the miraculous and the extraordinary existing alongside the ordinary in their daily life and is frequently pushing themselves outside the boundaries of their comfort zones in order to have personal growth, spiritual renewal, and happiness.

If you want to find happiness and add years to your life choose positive thoughts over negative ones, you are more likely to develop an optimistic outlook on life. According to happiness researchers such as Martin E.P. Seligmann, director of the Positive psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania and Barbara Fredrickson, PhD,  professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill,  positive people generally have higher levels of optimism and life satisfaction and live longer.

 In a BBC News report, Dr. Selligman was quoted as saying that he believed that “we” have compelling evidence that optimists and pessimists will differ markedly in how long they live and Dr. Fredrickson has counseled that changing your mind-set can change your body chemistry. She has stated that positive feelings literally can open the heart and mind. And there’s more good news even if you aren’t normally a happy person, thinking happy thoughts is a skill that can be learned.

 Anyone can learn to the art of being an optimist and choosing to think positive thoughts. You can start seeing the proverbial glass half full rather than half empty. Here are a couple of ways to start changing how you react and think. The next time you are in line at the post office and someone cuts in front of you or says something rude, resist the urge to respond with anger, which can clamp down your blood vessels and increase your blood pressure.

This suggestion might up set you but it’s worth it to experience peace of mind. Instead return rudeness with kindness and respect. Keep that positive vibe going through your intentions and actions in whatever you do. The more frequently you choose to be happy, the more your effort will be strengthened. So don’t fret; be happy and live longer.

Now’s the time to love the life you live and it’s time to go from blah to blissful. So c’mon, get happy!

Marriage Is A Mirror

Posted in Life, Love, relationships by

Mirror, mirror on the wall this marriage is the best of all.

How do you see your marriage now? Is it precious to you? Do you honor, appreciate, and place worth on your marriage as it is?

Or do you view your marriage as fundamentally flawed?

Do you know that all the energies and strategies you are using (thinking your marriage will be better if we just do this or we just change that) could end in failure? Unless you honor your marriage union first without conditions.

 Do you know that all your tactics can come across as manipulative strategies to get your spouse to do what you want. This smacks of duplicity and insincerity. You must work on your marriage because you believe it is valuable, not because you are trying to make it valuable. Quick-fix manipulations do not make for a good marriage.

Have you ever walked past a mirror and where shocked or mortified by what you saw? Your hair was standing up in a weird way, your slip was showing, your fly was open, you had food in your front teeth? Mirrors can be real life savers. Had it had not been for that mirror, you may have gone the entire day looking ridiculous.

Marriage becomes like a mirror by living so closely with your wife or husband, the two of you start to get a picture of what you really look like. You start to see where you need to adjust and change. This is why marriage is so effective at making people’s live more rich and productive if they adjust to the needed changes.

Unfortunately, many expect marriage to be something that makes them look better, not something that reveals where they don’t look so good. Additionally, rather than seeing where you need to change, you might project your own negative images on your spouse and point out where they need to change: She is so irritating…he is such a lazy slob…I don’t want to act this way, but she brings out the worst in me. In the Bible, Adam played the blame game like this: “That woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, I ate it.” Playing the blame game doesn’t make for a happy marriage.

If you believe your spouse is present in the marriage to make you look better, instead of being a mirror to help us see who you really are, you will think your marriage is inadequate whenever one of your faults is revealed. Like the witch “Snow White” who became angry at the mirror for not telling her what she wanted to hear. We begin to criticize the mirror, spouse, and our marriage and end up communicating to him or her: This marriage isn’t good, you’re doing something wrong, we need to fix you.

 Then once you are internally convinced that your marriage is wrong, you will never be able to change it externally; no matter how much you work on your attitude or behavior. Your marriage becomes like a cracked mirror that can’t be repaired. People in troubled marriages seldom grasp the fact that bad marriages cannot become good ones by external pressure.

External marriage-enrichment techniques do not work unless you begin by changing your perception of yourself, your spouse and marriage. Unfortunately quick-fixs and manipulating don’t make for a lasting marriage.

No one has all the answers and unfortunately sometimes the raw truth is that there are couples who said those two wonderful words “ I Do” for all the wrong reasons and saying I don’t any more is the only solution for them. 

When anger festers, boils, seethes, and burns everything it touched and  communications attempted under fire are doomed from ever reaching their objective the rational mind of your partner. The words may come pouring out, but that doesn’t mean they’re understood…particularly if the mood is sour or angry.

Fighting isn’t necessarily bad, nor is it necessarily good and it’s common enough but hopefully short-lived. So don’t worry about the occasional flare-up, but do something if the fire under the cauldron never goes out because constant bickering wears down both parties and wears love out.

If you’re always at the boiling point, try to figure out why. You may be taking it out on your partner, but the source of your displeasure may be far from the home front. Acknowledging the reason your anger is boiling up will allow you to explain to your partner why you’re in a bad mood. And if it’s something your partner is doing, then try to work things out before the anger gets out of control.

Love Wilts without smiles, it drops under the weight of tears and it grows pale when it’s kept indoors. Storms of anger can melt away as quickly as they boil up but feeling sadness or anguish can be longer lasting. An injured heart can do as much damage to an emotion as ethereal as love as an outraged spleen can do to all your emotions.

Love Is All There Is

Posted in Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

Love is all there is when you take your last breath you remember the people you love, how much love you inspired, and how much love you gave.

If you only had forty minutes left to tell your love story what would you say?

What would you say so your great-great-grandchildren could someday know their grandparents love story? Would they be reminded how much love matters?  Would they hear the power, strength, and wisdom of love. Would they know that you cut right to the heart of love with every word you spoke? Would they know that the greatest themes in life is love?

Would they know you experienced romantic love? Would they hear about falling in love, remembering a loved one; and finding love unexpectedly after assuming it was no longer in the cards.

Would you speak of enduring and of the redemptive power of love. Would you make their spirit soar in a culture that often feels consumed by all that’s phony or famous. Would your words of love remind them to try to live a life without regrets?

Would you share your beliefs about love and how you celebrated love? Would you tell them about the dignity, power, and grace of love? Would you speak of love and marriage? Would you speak of your love for your children? Your love for your grandchildren? Would you speak of your love of country and God? Would you speak at the age of 85 about the love of your life who passed away a few years ago?

Here is a love story about Bob and his wife Dot as told by Bob at the age of 85.

“My wife and I were   honeymooners in San Fransisco and we saw a sign that said ” Successful Marriage.”

 I never will forget it: It had six points to always say to your wife or husband. The first one was: You Look Great.  The second one was: Can I help? The third one was: Let’s Eat Out. The fourth one was: I Was Wrong. And the fifth one was: I Am Sorry. But last and most important one was: I Love You. That was it. There were six statements, and it said if you follow them, you’ll have a successful marriage. So we followed it, and we did have a successful marriage.

“It lasted fifty-three years, two months, and five days. It’s been rough, but every morning when Bob wakes up she is included in his prayers, and he talks to her every night when he goes to bed. She was something. One thing: He said, if they ever let him go through those pearly gates, he’s going to walk all over God’s heaven until he finds that girl. And the first thing he’s going to do is ask her if she would marry him, and do it all over again.”

Love survives discrimination, illness, poverty, distance and even death. In the courage of people’s passion we are reminded of the strength and resilience of the human spirit through the power of love. We bear witness to real love, in its many varied forms, enriching our understanding of that most magical feelings of love. What’s your love language? What would you tell your great great-grandchildren about love?

What Does Your Favorite Flowers Reveal About You?

Posted in Brides, Keepsakes, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, traditions by

It’s amazing how the mere sight of a flower arrangement is proven to elevate mood, intensify you immune system and even help you make friends by revving your sociability! And because every bouquet has its own personality the one you’re drawn to says unique things about yours! Here are a few of our favorite flowers and what they reveal about us.

If you love Rose Bouquets you’re a detail-oriented go-getter! It’s no wonder that the rose is a symbol of exquisite beauty.

The geometric pattern created by its petals forms the “golden ratio” the mathematical term for near perfect symmetry that shows up in everything from the curves of certain seashells to the famously precise proportions of the Parthenon.

Rose lovers zero in on this ideal aesthetic because you’re visually sensitive and detail-oriented, relentlessly pursuing your own idea of perfection both your personal and work lives.

Are you drawn to bright Golden Sunflowers and summers? If so you are friendly and charming! Their bright golden color embodies the hope of summer all year-long.

                                                                                                 Indeed, if one sunflower is like a smile, an entire arrangement of them is more like pure laughter something you need in your life and something your charming personality immediately brings out in others.

 You are full of zest, you attract friends and admirers as easily as your favorite flowers attract the warm rays of the sun.

Maybe you prefer a bouquet of Wildflowers you’re a dreamer! It requires an artistic eye to put together a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers to take disparate blooms, each with its own size, shape and color, and create a stunning whole.

Even if you don’t arrange them yourself, simply appreciating a bouquet of wildflowers implies you’re a creative idealist seeing value and potential in everything from a kernel of an idea in a work presentation to the curl of a wild petal in a roadside bloom.

Tulip lovers are poised and classy Like elegant champagne flutes. Slender tulips exude sophistication and quiet elegance.You don’t need a riot of showy blossoms in your bouquet because you instinctively prefer understatement.

You’re always thoughtful and ever serene. Focused on family, friends and the peaceful moments you spend tending to treasured projects like a bed of tulips in your garden that’ll soon become a beautiful bouquet.

 Orchid lovers… you are a chic mystery!

Because the orchid makes such a dramatic solo statement, a bouquet of the exotic beauties are relatively rare and so are your sophisticated sensibilities.

Just like the striking flower you love, you’re unique and exude a refined beauty. Another similarity between you and this bouquet is that there’s a certain mystique about you others can’t help but admire.

Herbs or Succulents…You’re a trendy thinker! If rather than classic petals, you prefer the soft green hues of herb or succulent-infused bouquets, you’re likely a nontraditional thinker, but never a slave to them. You are deep and well read, you have a talent for dealing with problems from many perspective and finding beauty in places others may over look.

Stargazer flowers are so loved and admired that they have been given a host of meanings and various kinds of symbolic importance.

Throughout the world, these lovely flowers are popular for nearly any occasion. They are favorite flowers of gardeners and florists use millions of them each year.

Do  you keep a bouquet of Stargazer flowers around to brighten up your day?  It is written that Stargazer flower lovers are vibrant, pretty and subtle. Stargazer flowers say to someone, such as a significant other I am thinking of you and missing you.

Flowers have meanings associated with them and, that there are flowers befitting specific occasions? Flowers are a part of the most important occasions in our lives. They are conspicuously present on birthdays, funerals, graduations, weddings, and many more occasions.

It is impossible for any person to be completely unaware of flower meanings.

Everyone knows that a red rose stands for romantic love and that one does not send yellow roses to anyone in mourning.

Most people do not consider flower meanings before gifting flowers. Similarly, people who receive flowers may not know their meaning and hence miss the underlying message. Know which flower stands as the national flower of what country?  Some flowers are symbolic of wealth, prosperity and fortune. While other flowers are of friendship, splendid beauty and anticipation.

The flower in this photo is called a “Anthurium” and it represents happiness and abundance to the person it is given to. Anthurim flower lovers are the life of the party and spread joy every where they go. Anthurium flowers represents happiness and abundance.

Do You Have A Grandparent Rival

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms, Parenting, relationships by

Grandparents love indulging  grandchildren, love surprising them, love giving them presents, and love seeing the smiles on their fabulous faces when they walk in the door. It’s so much fun! Isn’t it?

A recent grandparent poll asked grandparents this question:  Do you have a grandparent rival?  62% said, Yes I can’t help it and 38% said, No we’re fine. The response to the 62% group was don’t be surprised or embarrassed it’s natural, if you feel a bit competitive with the other set of grandparents and want to be the favorite… or at least on your grandchildren’s favorite list.

But of course, being the favorite grandparent every minute of every day isn’t always possible. First of all, no grandparent can always give their grandchildren everything they want and never say no. Grandparenting may be more fun than parenting, but it’s not a free-for-all. As my grandmother use to say when she had to say No,”anybody can be your friend but my job is to be your grandmother.”

The truth is you probably can’t out do all the other sets of grandparents all the time even if you wanted to. But thank goodness grandparents don’t have to. Just like grandparents, grandchildren have enough love to go around. We can love all our grandchildren and they can love all their grandparents! You may not be your grandchildren’s only favorite, or favorite every day, but if you treat them with love and respect, you will always be a winner in the end. And so will they!

And finally, if you feel like you’re losing the “favorite” race from time to time because you’re the grandmother-in-law and your daughter-in-law prefers her own parents’ brand of grandparenting to yours, you’re probably right! The same Grandparenting poll found 57 percent of paternal grandmothers (that’s the husband’s mother) often felt left out.

It went on to say, After all, your daughter-in-law is parenting the way she was parented by her own mother and in some circumstances it may have been a grandmother, aunt, older sister, or a father who did the parenting but try to remember they did their best.

After all it’s familiar to her and seems “right”. And besides, you were the first woman in her husband’s life, know him longer and better than she does, she’s probably compared to you too often, and if you have a daughter of your own, you may play favorites yourself without even realizing it.

Grandparents who live far away worry that grandparents who live closer will be preferred, and the grandparents with less money worry that wealthier grandparents will gift their way to first place. And if there’s only one child, the stakes are even higher.

So, being “the favorite” may be only a grandparent’s fun fantasy, but there are lots of fun things you can to do that can help you make your dream of being on your grandchildren’s “favorite” Grandparent list.

Here a four Secrets of Favorite Grandparents out of many

  1. Don’t buy love. Reassure yourself that your grandkids will love you even without the nonstop presents and then prove it. Set a one-month gift or candy moratorium, and just play with the kids when they come over, or read to them, or teach them something special, like a funny dance or a goofy kids song, instead of taking them shopping. Let yourself see that you are valued and loved even if you don’t dispense gifts.
  2. Don’t load them up with contraband. Gifts of toys and candy are a problem in another way too. If we take our grandchildren to the candy store, and they stuff bags full of candies and carry them back home, we’ve put their parents in the position of saying yes to junk or no to the special treats. The kids should not bring home varieties of toys and candy that are not allowed in their house, because then you won’t be given many chances to become a favorite!
  3. Do Listen. Ask questions about their likes and dislikes, their games and friends, real and imaginary, their TV programs, books, and their electronic games… and then really listen to their answers. Listen when they talk spontaneously, when they talk repetitively, when they talk endlessly. Listen when they are silly and serious. It’s been said before, their parents just can’t listen to them on a daily basis the way you can when they are with you on a visit. Be the grandparent who understands, the one who is patient, the grandparent who accepts what they say without a lot of lectures and criticism.
  4. Do find Similarities. Become one of your grandchildren’s soul mates and they will feel a bond that will never be broken. Start by going through “favorites” lists and compare notes. They are called the “Top-Three Lists”. Try top-three favorite… vegetables, meats, fruit, candy, snacks, colors, activities, holidays then do the “Bottom Three” you get the idea. Then go through secret wishes, hardest school subjects, least favorite chores, funny movies and so forth. Every time you find a match, make a big deal out of it. Shout, “Match!” Write it down but mainly remember it. When you talk to your grandchildren, even by phone, Skype, chat, text, e-mail, try to bring up one of those similarities. Like “Our favorite holiday is only three weeks away,” or, “I had to eat our least favorite vegetable today because it was in the salad already.”
  5. Make your home their home away from home. If you have the space, set aside the basement, a room, or even a corner of the living room as your grandkids’ very own space. Let them keep their toys and games there. You’re not only telling them they’re welcome, your backing up with actions. This keeps them wanting to come back again and again. And after all, that’s the plan!

Being a grandparent in today’s world isn’t what it use to be, it’s better! Lets embrace our exciting new role and create wonderful relationships with our children and grandchildren. Remember being a grandparent today isn’t just about babysitting and boasting and it is different from our predecessors.

When Friendship Grows

Posted in Life, Quotes, relationships, Uncategorized by

Emily Dickinson spoke for friends everywhere when she observed, “My friends are my estate.” Dickinson understood that friends are among our most treasured possessions. But unlike a bank account or a stock certificate, the value of a true friendship is not denominated in dollars and cents; it is, in fact, beyond measure it is priceless. Our friendship started when we first talked to each other I knew we would always be friends and our friendship has kept on growing and you know that I’ll be here for you to the end. Thank you listening to me when I  have a problem and helping dry the tears from my face.

You take away my sorrow and put happiness in its place. We can’t forget the fun we’ve had laughing ’till our faces turned blue while talking of things only that we found funny. People must have thought we where insane. Oh! if they only knew.

I guess this is my way of saying thanks for catching me when I fall. Thanks once again for being such a good friend  and being there with me though it all. There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else. If your alone I’ll be your shadow. IF you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. IF you need to be happy I’ll be your smile…But anytime you need a friend. I’ll just be me.

It’s the times we’re so crazy that people think we are high it;s the times we laugh so hard , we can’t help but cry. It’s all the inside jokes and remembering when’s those are all the reasons that we’re best friends!

When you are with a close friend it seems as if  you never have to explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when yo have forgotten the words. Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest…it’s about who came, and never left your side.

The words that escape a friend’s mouth are “I’ll be there when you say you need me” but the words that are unheard from a true friends heart are I’ll be there…whether you say you need me or not.

What is a friend? A thesaurus offers many synonyms: ally, alter ego, chum, companion, coworker, colleague, helper, pal, and partner, to name a few. Like the people who create them, each friendship is unique. Enduring friendship, while difficult to cubbyhole, is easy to recognize. We know it when we see it.

Epicurus wrote, “Of all the things that wisdom provides to make life happy, by far the greatest is friendship.” Over two thousand years have passed since the Greek sage offered this observation, but little has changed. Friendships are still among the most sublime of human pleasures.

A true friend is the gift of God, and he only who made hearts can unite them. Friendship is one mind in two bodies. A friend is a poem. Friends are relatives you   make for yourself. A true friend will not always agree with you but will always be true to your best interests. Your best friend is the person who in wishing you well wishes it for your sake.

The word friendship is also a noun and it has many meanings here are a few : The  state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and good will, friendliness; amity; good will; kindly aid; help; assistance, aptness to unite; conformity; affinity; harmony. Friendship is a noun and it can begin with a glance and continue to grow with gratitude. Remember wherever your are it’s your friends who make your world.

A Relationship Isn’t Like Grandma’s Silver

Posted in Life, Love, relationships, The Work Force, Women, Working Women by

A relationship isn’t like Grandma’s silver that you can take out of its box once a year to polish. It’s something that needs constant spiffying up.

How you and your partner cope with these statements: I had a hard day or I have bad news to tell you can set the stage for how the two of you spend the rest of your evening together. Depending on how and when the two of you talk about the hard day you had or the bad news it can rob you of your joy. Learning relationship skills can help you and your partner return to joy faster and that is better than remaining angry and up set for the rest of the evening isn’t it?

Your home is your castle but sometimes coming home after a hard day at the office or a hard day traveling or it’s just a hard commute. The kids may have acted up, the washing machine may have broken down or the loneliness was too much.

Up or down, down or up, what ever the cause, sometimes opening the front door, the tensions can be cut with a knife. Coming home should be a time of relief. A man or woman’s home is his or her castle. When that front door close behind you, there’s an expectation of calm and getting off the rat’s treadmill for a little while.

So when that open door presents you with an out-of- control maelström of anger, crying or tension, you’re left with no place to go and the bell sounds “round one” the moment one partner enters the house, then no one should be surprised if he or she comes in swinging with words.

There’s no question that the problems at home must be dealt with, but there needs to be a moment or two of transition before they are handed over on a red-hot cookie sheet. So let the person coming home take a deep breath, change out of their work clothes, and maybe have a snack. Then give him or her the bad news or whatever else it is and they will be better equipped to help deal with it.

Here is a suggestion while you may want to give partners coming home a few minutes to gather themselves, you also might want to let them know there’s’ a storm on the horizon. Set up some sort of signal it can be a verbal or a little sign such as an actual red flag so that they’ll know to expect something. Remember a relationship isn’t like Grandma’s silver that you take out of its box once a year to polish it’s something that needs constant spiffying up with red flags and snacks.

A Lot Of Otters

Posted in Books, Chidren, Dreams, family, Life, Love, Moms, Parenting, relationships by

Every now and then a children’s book comes along that sparks our imaginations and puts a smile on our faces and A Lot Of Otters is one of those books.

The other day my sister called me to tell me how much she enjoys swimming with her grandson who has autism.

She went on to tell me how much he enjoys watching the Otters in the Aquarium of the Pacific (it’s in Long Beach, California our home town) and she wondered if when she is swimming with him in their family pool was he pretending they were otters swimming and playing freely in the water like Otters do? As she was talking to me I started to  image the two of them laughing and playing in their pool together like otters do.

Later that day while I was shopping in Books A Million I came across a book called A Lot Of Otters. After browsing through it I decided to buy it because it reminded me of the story that my sister told about of Milo liking otters. It turns out that Milo swims like a fish and swimming is one of his favorite things to do and we are hoping that one day he will be able to tell us all about swimming like an Otter.

It’s called A Lot of Otters isn’t that a great name? It’s written by author Barbara Helen Berger and in 1997 this book was selected as best children’s book by The School Library Journal. It was also selected for The Prestigious Exhibition The Original Art 1997, Celebrating the Fine Art of Children’s Book Illustrations, sponged by Society of Illustrations, New York.

The Author’s Comments: When the toddler climbs into the cardboard box, the blue shadow under the box turns into water, and as he reads his book he sails away. From then on, everything takes place in this fantasy water, made with washes of blue to flow from page to page.

The sea otters are based on her careful observations (in two Aquariums, videos and books). So their activities show what sea otters actually do. The way they dive, the way they carry their food, the way they eat, groom, play. However they are playing with stars, and one otter is reading the toddler’s book from the moment he drops it (Oops) to the end.

She always likes to have some element in art which is never actually mentioned in the words. That is one of the things about a picture book that can be most magical and fun. In this case the toddler’s cardboard box and his book with its red cover are never mentioned, nor is the otter who keeps on reading the book whiles everything goes on around him.

 Take a look at the photo of the cover jacket for “A Lot of Otters.” After looking at it. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with otters? This photo sparks my imagination, and before I know it. I’m pretending that I’m reading a book, while sitting in a card box surrounded by friendly otters. Then I feel carefree like a child again. Honesty what could be more fun than children than pretending they are playing with Otters?  Stop reading this for a minute and pretend that you are swimming with a group of fun-loving otters like the ones in this book. Did you really stop?  Wasn’t that fun?

There is nothing more delightful than watching children while they are swimming except for swimming with them. I wonder if while children are frolicking in the water are they pretending to behave like otters too? They move so carefree the way Otters do? Don’t they?

This article is for Trish and Milo because they love to read and look at books about otters and swim together. It seems that Nana’s, Otters, and Swimming are a good combination for some children with autism at least it seems that way for Milo.

 Some children can tell their parents when they are pretending to be like otters while others can’t because they have autism regardless if a child can speak or not, books can be a powerful influence in a child’s life.

It feels good when our imaginations are sparked doesn’t it? Children and books about animals as their friends is magical regardless of what their challenges are. Just ask a grandparent and they’ll tell you all about their favorite childhood books that were full of friendly animal characters.

Children’s picture books date back to the seventeenth century, but they really came into their own in the nineteen-twenties. Children’s picture story books like “The Little Red Hen” and “Little Black Sambo ( which would not be considered politically correct today) but were popular in the good old days.

Protect Your Soul

Posted in Life, relationships, Spiritual by

The journey of the soul is not all joy nor is it always consummated in the light. In life we make choices at every moment of what our soul’s destination shall be.

Just as in a dance one may move in any direction, forward, side to side, around and around or seem to be beautifully floating in the air. In life we are constantly through every infinitesimal increment of our behavior choose a direction the path our souls will take. If a man kills his wife and uses the legal system’s loopholes to escape conviction he has not only gotten away with murder he has lost his soul. He may be set free to return to the usual circumstances of his life but he will never be free.

 He will be a soulless man whose very existence is the embodiment of untruth. No matter how many people he may falsely convince himself in the light of the truth he is still condemned and will try insanely to convince himself of his own innocence, then surely his soul shall be lifted by the darkness around him.

There is no neutral moment or action in our experiences. Everything we do, every action we enact, every nuance of movement, each word we utter either creates the further illumination of our souls or moves us into a dark unconsciousness. Our souls can be utterly compromised and the potential for loss of soul to one degree or another can become an affliction of a society that as a collective has lost its sense of morals and ethics, of a culture that values everything else above the spiritual. Do we live in such a spiritually impoverished culture and in such a time that loss of soul to one degree or another is a constant teasing?

We seem to be invited at every corner to hedge on the truth, indulge ourselves, act as if our words and actions have no ultimate consequence, make an absolute of the material world, and treat the spiritual as it were an unsubstantial, angelic fantasy. In such a world a man can lose his own soul and have the world culture support him, and in such a world conversely the light of a single great soul that lives in integrity can truly illumine the world.

Create A Happy Heart

Posted in Chidren, Dreams, family, Life, relationships by

Life is full of opportunities to create a happy heart. My mother use to say the most wasted of all days, is one with out laughter. She believed in positive thinking and that singing happy songs help to make for a happy heart.

 She loved to dance, sing and laugh. When I was a young girl my mother had a happy song, dance, a funny joke or saying for every situation in life. I don’t mean that as a metaphor I mean it literally.

When life dealt her lemons she was the kind of mother who would make lemonade out of the lemons. She was a half glass full kind of mother. One of my favorite examples of my mothers positive attitude and keeping a happy heart took place when I was thirteen and my best friend Vicky was celebrating her birthday at Disneyland.

The day the invitation arrived I was ecstatic. As far as I was concerned there was nothing better than the E ticket rides at Disneyland. I had lots of E tickets from  previous visits and I was full of expectations. The night before the big day all I did was talk, talk and talk about the rides. I don’t know how my mother kept her wits about her while she listened to my excessive talking. 

 One of the songs my mother and I use sing and listen to was called ” You Talk To Much”. I remember she was singing the words to the song under her breath. I’m sure she was hoping that I would get a clue and stop talking but you know how thirteen year old girls are.

Finally when the big day arrived I woke up and my neck hurting when I told my mother she did everything she could to try to help stop the pain but nothing worked. I was broken-hearted when my mother told me to call my Vicky and let her know that I wouldn’t be able to go.

I hung up the phone and I realized that I was not going to be able to celebrate Vicky’s birthday. I wondered how was I ever going to get over being disappointed?  The girls and I had mapped out and made a list of rides we were going to on and we saved our allowances so we could buy a present for Vick’s birthday.

 I started crying and my mother tried to console me. She said maybe, if your neck starts feeling better she could drive you to meet up with Vicky and the girls later in the day. I said, sure mom that would be ok. When I finished my melt down I noticed that my mom had left the room and I became curious and went to find out what she was doing.

When I found her she had taken off her night-gown and had put on a funny dress, hat and fun music on her old RCA record player.  At first when I saw her I thought to myself, how dare her be so happy when I was so sad. Then after listening to a few of her happy songs I started to sing and dance along with her. The next thing I knew. I wasn’t sad any more. The pain in my neck was gone but it was still stiff.

I’m glade that my mother applied a positive attitude to my situation and it did make for a merry heart. Life isn’t always about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.