Perhaps as a child you were told not to toot your own horn, even when you accomplished something amazing. Or maybe you were told to stop dreaming of setting the world on fire, and “have modest aspirations, so you wouldn’t be disappointed.” Maybe when you try to express your authentic self you hear an old voice berating you for “being a show off.” Yet at the same time, out of the corner of your eye you see it was the big gestures that got all the attention in life. Glamour. Fame, Wealth. The trinity of what’s considered good taste and worshiped by the world. Or at least that’s the way the international best-dressed lists, the movie stars’ mansions that are glorified in glossy layouts. It’s not enough to write a finely honored first novel, it has to be a best-seller or you’ll have difficulty publishing a second one. 

You can’t just be a talented actress, you…

Are you doing the right things but in a relationship with someone who isn’t?  Remember the saying, “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”? Talk about stress and complexities! When we don’t live our lives according to our moral standard . . . when we make all of our decisions based on a sliding scale designed by someone else  . . . when we give them permission to lie or twist the truth  . . . our lives can get really complicated, really fast. When we allow ourselves to just go along with someone to get along we can start to become unglued faster than we ever thought. 

On, the other hand, when we live by a healthy moral code, things get so much simpler. Should I tell the cashier that the one cup cake pan sheet rang up is actually two stuck together? If you live by a moral…

The statement you’re not a trash can mean that you are allowing someone with or without recognizing their behaviors to provoke you into emotional patterns that are not good for you. Think about this when someone is dumping into you all their negativity and emotions or  belittling you . . .  It’s as if they are vomiting into a trash can but instead of a trash can you are a human being who deserves to be treated in a respectful way, in a kind and loving way. If you have lost the ability to treat the ones you love with respect, kindness, and love then maybe you should stop and take a hard long look into yourself and get to the root of why you are not able to be kind, loving or respectful and stop using people like trash cans.

Allowing yourself to be used as a trash can…

S tay in love and be  a person of your word will build a fortress of trust in your relationship,  and that trust will allow you to truly savor the words of love and praise that are the hallmark of abiding love. So, aside from exceptions that are unavoidable: you promised to go to his collage reunion, and you came down with the flu the night before: you’d said you’d meet him at seven, but the car had a flat. Make every effort to mean and do what you say.

Words and the way our actions do or don’t stand behind their meaning have an incredible capacity to wound us or to heal us. In a very real sense, words create reality. We all invest one another’s words with our own hopes, fears, and expectations. Therefore, to keep your love alive, be a person of your word. Being a person…

Trust develops trust. Acknowledging that you trust the person you love with your life, with your heart, your body, your talents, your fears, your children, your worldly good, invites him or her to become even more worthy of that trust. In a wonderful upward spiral, the compliment of trust encourages even more trustworthiness. To trust means that we start from the position of believing that our sweetheart is motivated by a deep concern for us, that he or she in spite of occasional missteps or mistakes, truly has our well-being in mind. When we trust, we believe that the other loves us dearly and intends to love us well and long. Trust imagines the best: trust expects the happiest possible outcome. Trust serves with joy in the expectation that trust will be returned.

Just as trust engenders trust, doubt, its opposite, creates more suspicion. The more you suspect, expect and imagine that your sweetheart doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to care for you properly, the more it will become impossible for him or…

When we fall in love we give ourselves over to the charms of our sweetheart, and surrender ourselves to the mysteries of union. That is when everything changes. Through each nuance of behavior, whether a kiss, a conversation, the income taxes, or making love, you are asked to take account of your sweetheart, but also of your relationship. That’s because when you fall in love, there’s another spiritual entity its the “we,” “us” that is brought into being. Although it’s invisible, it is utterly alive, vibrant, vivid, and unique; continuously present as a discrete though subtle energetic essence.

You can feel it when you’re alone together as the mysterious unified play of your two energies. You can recognize it when you present yourselves to the world, as arm in arm you enter a room and create a wave of response. It’s the constellation of ideas and points of view that…

One of the great pitfalls in any relationship is to use the other person as a handy-dandy dartboard for all the things that are irritating you. It’s easy to fall into the habit of blaming them for everything that goes wrong, and/or expecting them to make everything right. In order to avoid succumbing to this unkind position, try walking a mile in your sweetheart’s. Walking a mile in your sweetheart’s shoes means that you will put yourself in their place, allow their experience to penetrated your consciousness, and feel it deeply enough so that you can console one another if necessary and not blame each other if tempted.

So, anytime you’re sure he or she is at fault for your bad mood, the broken computer, the leak in the roof, or the fact that life is boring, try putting yourself in his or her place. Imagine that your are she and bring to mind the myriad of stresses, insults,assaults,disappointments, and disasters, miniscule and gigantic, that are now besetting her life. Take a minute to think…

They say that love conquers all, but that’s not really true. Some burdens are so heavy that even love gives way. Sometimes love does grow stronger because of adversity: sometimes you don’t appreciate what you have until you’re in danger of losing it. So don’t stall. Give it your all today before something goes wrong, before you have regrets, before you begin to be overwhelmed with guilt.

A few years ago I made friends with a  very nice lady who had  lost their entire family to the Holocaust and the one thing that she said that really struck a nerve was  no matter how happy you are today, tragedy can strike at any moment. Even if you do draw together because of tragic events, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the tragedy won’t win in the end.  Then I thought to myself  that’s  depressing  but then she went on to say the love you give today won’t protect…

A promise is a promise right? If you swore to love for life once why do it again?  The first answer could be: Why not? What harm could it do? Is it the vow itself that is the question? Ah, there’s the rub. You walked down the aisle together once. It was a great day; so great that it could never be repeated. And the knot you tied that day became a gnarl of attachment: kids, deeds, photo albums, possessions galore. So how could you ever part? But if you had to do it all over again, would you? That’s the question that begs answering when second or third wedding vows are on the horizon.

If the answer is “Yes,” then sure, say “I do, I do, I do.” If you answer is “I don’t know, ” then don’t ignore the warning signs. Your feelings for each other will have…