Category Archives: Parenting

Call Her Sweetheart

Posted in family, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace by

Your loves name is more than a word. When you say his or her name aloud or in your head, it evokes everything, all your memories, all the time you’ve spent together, all the trips you’ve made, the children you’ve had, and the obstacles you’ve overcome. Some people only say their partner’s name when they’re angry, they want something, or they’re yelling or complaining.

The  name loses its valuable identity and becomes associated with negative feelings. So make sure you use your loves name with tenderness, caring and emotion as often as you can. Each time you say it that way, you’ll be filled with love. Dear… Honey…Snookums…Baby…Lover…Kid… Sweetheart… They show you care, especially when your love saves them just for you. But they’re not the same as saying someone’s name. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care when you call their name out.

Some parents call each other Mom and Dad, imitating their children. This may sound cute, but it removes your individuality and replaces it with a role. So it’s better to reserve those titles for your children’s use. Sweetheart it’s best to use an enduring name for each other.

It’s Time To Celebrate Out Of The Box

Posted in Babies, Chidren, Dreams, Life, Moms, Parenting, traditions by

What is more appropriate than birth for our beginning? A new child in the world offers a rich opportunity to honor the baby, the parents, the space where they will live, the already-existing siblings, the grandparents and extended family and friends.

 The actual birth process itself as well as preparation for it already creates special moments. As we grow to understand our role in adding more meaning  to our lives, this birth time is opportunity knocking with a loud beat. I can’t tell you how many unusual ways my girl friends and I created something out of the ordinary into a unordinary way to celebrate an impending childbirth celebration. We wanted to do something for each other, but not necessarily a traditional shower.

The gals and I grew up together, we married within weeks of each other and our  babies were born with in weeks of each other. As time went by they had two or three children with in weeks of each other. Then there was me the odd duck out I didn’t have my second baby until seven years later. Hey! It’s better late than never. Right!

This story is a bit unusual, as it talks about preparing the place where the baby will live. The gals and I designed the event, and this is what we did for our friends Linda and Dave. 

My friends Dave and Linda’s first baby was due near the holidays. I wanted to do something for them, but not necessarily a traditional shower. The birth time was getting close and we needed to move into action if anything was going to be done. I called Linda, saying that I wanted to offer to plan something for her and Dave. I asked her what would she like? Very quickly she said, she was dreaming of a time with close friends to prepare the living space for the baby.

She went on to explain to me that she didn’t mean a physical sense of painting and remodeling, but of welcoming the child into the world even before she arrived. I was thrilled with this idea and excited to be part of making it happen.

Linda and I started putting it together. Linda was very clear about who she and Dave wanted to attend–those folks who would understand and support the idea of a pre-birth housewarming. I called the guest on the phone, as it was short notice. This was before email and texting. It was in the 1970’s. The parents wanted the gathering place to take place in the location where the baby would be living.

The intention was to prepare a community nest for the baby. The nest would be made of stories, poetry, wisdom, favorite children’s books, lullabies and handmade items. The offering of the event would come from the heart of each guest. We trusted that each person knew what this new being needed to smooth the transition into the world, help her be comfortable and accepted before her actual arrival.

When the evening arrived, we gathered men and women in a circle n the living room of the home where the child would be living. A candle was lit in honor of the baby. We passed around a rattle to use as a talking piece.

A friend acted as host/facilitator. The offerings included prayers, live music presentations, the start of the child’s own library, special Christmas ornaments, wisdom for parenting, and stories from childhood. Best of all there was the overwhelming sense of how wanted and special this child was, even before she entered the world. Blessings  on this living home and caring parents were offered. Afterwards we ate, laughed and celebrated new life.

The actual birth came a few days later and turned out to be a little difficult for Linda, one of the things that helped her stay focused was remembering the support of those who had assisted in preparing the home for her child.

Because Linda had a clear vision, I was able to help make it happen. In this situation, I was less the creator and more an enabler. I didn’t need to agonized on what to do, as Linda knew what she wanted and I could act as the helper.

Linda designed her own evening. This celebration honored the parents and welcomed their first child into our lives. The circle of friends were ready to receive Linda and Dave’s new baby. As a thank you gift Linda and Dave gave each of us a photo frame with our names engraved randomly around the frame with a picture of their beautiful new baby girl. 

Celebrating beginnings helps us connect with family and friends in wonderful new ways. Even small beginnings, transitions can be explored and filled with wonder. The idea is not to have a “celebration in a box” solution, but spur your creative imagination. You’ll find inspiration to design an event unique to you will give meaning and love to all that participate. Celebrating out of the box is a way to connect with heart and meaning.

In The Kitchen With Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms, Parenting by

 You don’t have to teach your grandchildren how to bake a cake like the one in this picture of a Betty Crocker birthday circus cake. All you need to do is teach them a few simply things about cooking and how your kitchen gadgets work.

Here are few suggestions to help you to think about what you and your grandchildren might like to do in your kitchen. I hope you have as much fun as I have had with my friends and family in our kitchens.

  • Let your grandchildren sit next to you while you prepare food and explain what you’re doing and why.
  • Sink Play, wrap your grandchildren in an apron or dish towel and provide lots of utensils. Then stand them safely on a chair and play water games.
  • Inviting your grandchildren to cook with you is a great way to introduce them to a verity of foods even vegetables. Ask them to hold the containers for you and let them help you pour the vegetable into a pan or crock pot. Sometime they get so excited they even eat the vegetables. Isn’t that awesome?
  • Let them make what my friend Jane’s grandchildren call “stuff” they all love mixing the most unlikely ingredients together into a big bowel to make stuff; this is a great way of exercising their creativity.
  • Ask them to clean up the mess with a paper towel
  • Let them wipe the low surfaces with a damp cloth to clean up and be helpful
  • This is one of my favorite suggestions wash paintbrushes in the sink to make rainbow water.
  • Invite  your grandchildren to go to a Strawberry or Blue Berry Farm with you.  Don’t forget to bring along personalized buckets for them.

Let them cook! Encouraging a child to help in the kitchen has benefits for everyone. You’re teaching them about cooking and being independent. When they are old enough they can cook a meal for you!

Laugh Like Kids

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting, relationships by

Have you ever notice how much energy children have? Granted, they’re flinging around bodies that weigh twenty to sixty pounds while you and I weigh… never mind, let’s not go there.

But my point is that kids are indefatigable or another way to put it is that some times they seem to be incapable of being fatigued.I noticed the other day after a few hours playing with my grandsons I was all tuckered out, and needed to take a nap. As I dosed off I thought to myself I would love to be able to bottle some of their energy. Just bottle it up, and take a swig whenever I was dragging. Can you just image how much money I could make if I sold their energy in a bottle?

Whizzang! Just image that suddenly you’d be Superwoman if you had the energy of a child. If you were at work, your fingers would suddenly be flying on the keyboard at an amazing pace. What if you had the energy of a child while doing housework?  You’d have the beds made, dishes washed, socks darned, and chimney swept in the amount of time it use to take to fluff your pillow for your afternoon nap. Coworkers would gape in amazement. Friends would be amused and stare. Your husband would have to eat an energy bar just keep up with you. They’d be thrilled with your performance at work and the way your kitchen sparkled.

But my guess is that sooner or later they’d question the Crayola scribbles in the hallway, the grass strains on the knees of your best pants suites, and the distracting way you’d have of jumping up and down, blowing spit bubbles or sticking your chewing gum under your desk whenever someone was trying to get your attention.

So! Maybe we don’t really want all the energy of a kid. Still, maybe we can pick up a few pointers from the little people in our lives. Kids have such vitality. Such zest for life. They posses wild imaginations, boundless energy, and limitless passion. These are things I miss from my youth. I don’t know about you, but I would love to recapture some of the youthful zeal that characterized my life before grown-up responsibilities, problems, and anxieties started.

What secrets do kids have to share about youthful living(at any age)? What wisdom can we glean from their zestful ways? 

Lets find out. A smile a minute. A study recently revealed that children, on average, laugh four hundred times a day. Wow! isn’t that awesome? 

The same study revealed that adults laugh about fifteen times in a day. That’s not very awesome is it?

That means that our children and grandchildren are  finding something to laugh about almost every other minute.  You and I, on the other hand, are lucky if we chuckle once each waking hour. You think we might be onto something here? Do you want to feel younger? Laugh. Here are a couple of ideas that might help us to be mindful to laugh more. Write down things that make you laugh.  Is there a certain movie that tickles your fancy?  Or a humorous writer?   How about a favorite cartoonist? 

The other suggestion is to, at some point in your day, find a way to incorporate extra laughter into your day. I don’t know about you but, when I want more laughter in my life I read The Cat In The Hat books to my grandson’s and before I turn the first page we are laughing.

I still laugh when I watch some of the old black and white cartoons that I grew up watching. Sometimes watching reruns of my favorite sit coms on T.V. will get me laughing too. The third idea is well… a little zany. But I promise you wouldn’t regret trying it.

 As kids, my friends and I had this game. We would start laughing for no reason. One of us would begin the game by forcing a laugh. Not a ” ha ha ha“, mind you, but a “ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…” The person who starts the game is merely saying the word “ha” over and over. It sounds artificial and impotent. Then as the laughter begins you will feel the urge to apply some stomach muscles. You wouldn’t be laughing uncontrollably but it’s a pretty good imitation. It’s starting to coming from the gut. It sounds convincing. Usually with in a few minutes things will be in full swing and before you know it your eyes will become watery, you will experience belly laughs, giggles, and even aching ribs.

Before you know it you’ll be pinked-checked from giggling, guffawing, and gasping for air between round of laughter. We use to laugh ourselves into a state of genuine, uncontrolled, urgent  and howling hilarity. My laughing buddies are  my grandchildren if you don’t have any borrow one from a neighbor and ” ha ha ha ha ha ha” until you see stars or almost need CPR, which ever comes first.

Sometimes you wouldn’t have any idea why your laughing, But you’ll be glade that you are. If none of these suggestions work for you try putting a pillow case over head while jumping up and down on your bed I know that’s just zany isn’t it? Just laugh…

A Little Kid Humor

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting by

 Kids are taking over the world and I’m not talking about all the doctors, policemen, politicians, and attorneys who seem to be getting younger and younger every year. I’m talking about children. Real children.

More specifically, toddlers they could be your nieces and nephews, your grandchildren, your neighbor’s kids, or in some cases, even your own children.

  Sure, they seem innocent enough sitting there in their car seats or on the floor playing quietly with their toys but it’s all a ruse.

They have an agenda, they’re committed, and they’ve outsmarted us for years. Everything they do is to advance their plan to take over the world, and its time someone blew their cover. First, I’m not sure how they did it , but somehow these little kids have managed to take control of our television set. Instead of watching our favorite news programs or the History Channel, we find ourselves caving in to their desires and watching kids programs for hours on end with them. 

Granted we do get involved in their T.V. programs and sometimes even catch ourselves laughing out loud with the kids.

 I have to admit that I find myself watching “The Cat In The Hat” with out the kids.

I wonder, has anyone ever played these children’s shows theme songs backward to see if they’re sending subliminal messages to the adult world?  Messages like: “you will let me play ball in the house” “You will take me to Chuch E. Cheese’s”. “You will give me an advance on my inheritance.” “You’ll let me braid your hair in little braids and paint your toenails fluorescent pink.”

Phase two apparently happened while many of us middle-agers were taking naps. These innocent-looking children somehow convinced pharmaceutical companies of the need for our medicine bottles to come with childprood caps. Caps, I might add, that only children can open. Now on the surface, childproofing medicine bottle probably sounded like a great idea, and I do not doubt for a minute that the staff at the FDA had plenty of reputable facts to convince the agency to jump on board with the seemingly beneficial plan.

But the FDA wasn’t looking into the future to see where this action would take us as a society. ” I need my high blood  medication, Lucas,” Nana says. “Can you come over here and open this blasted thing open for me? ” Sure, Nana, as soon as you tell them the password to your safe deposit box.” These children are the same ones who also hide our glasses, car keys, wallets, and the remote control, and then merely giggle, clam up, or speak gibberish when we try to interrogate them about the missing items. “Where are my keys, Lucas?” “Algagoa.” Come on, Lucas, tell Nana where you put them.” “Dimofogu.” gibberish, gibberish, gibberish is all they will say.

Their resistance to these inquisitions would impress military experts worldwide. Both the FBI and CIA have tried to decipher their secret code, but it’s unbreakable. We’re headed for trouble, people. Just think about it who gets the power seat at the dinner table? The high chair? (see even the name sounds commanding.)  Who’s responsible for that incessant pounding on the metal trays the would make even the toughest grandparent shout out every password to every account they’ve ever owned? These toddlers, that’s who.

Remember the good ol’ days when children used to be at the mercy of adults when it came to their mobility? They either rode in a stroller or we carried them. That, too has changed. These days, kids have their own battery-operated cars to putt around in. They’re eighteen months old, and they’re already know how to drive. What’s worse, we’re probably the ones they persuaded to buy these vehicles for them.

Which brings me to their incredible business sense these youngsters are nothing short of financial geniuses. Think about it. They come to our homes selling candy for their schools and youth organizations, then they return on Halloween and take it all back! Has anyone done the math on this?

I’m telling you their hostile takeover has been planned right under our noses and we’ve been too blinded by their cuteness to see it. They’ve been holding high-level security meetings in play groups all over the world. Sure, it all looks like innocent play to us, but it isn’t. It’s their version of Camp David. Why do you think there is always a child who holds that ear-piercing, high-pitched scream? You think it’s a tantrum? I used to think that, too.

These toddlers have their own cell phones, computers, play houses, tents, and emergency vehicles. What do they need us big people for? They’ve got almost everything required to run the world on their own. Except they may need someone to change their diapers or find their pull ups.

The most amazing thing about this is how these little ones have managed to get us to run their publicity campaigns for them, and we’ve been doing it pro bono. “You want to see some pictures of the most beautiful grandchild on earth?”  “You think she’s beautiful, look at these pictures of my grandchildren.”

 All things considered maybe we’re just getting what we deserve after all these little ones have outsmarted us for years, manipulating us with their cute smiles and endearing hugs, while we’ve merely sat by and allowed it all to happen. But it’s not too late no matter how cute they are we cannot continue to roll over and let these kids take over. We can’t bury our heads and pretend we don’t know what they’re up to. It’s time we let them know once and for all whose is in charge here! It’s time we…

Sorry I had more to say but my grandson Jesse just gave me a hug and took off with my glasses and won’t give them back, so I can’t see the keys on my keyboard.  And so the conspiracy continues…

 

Mom Knows Everything

Posted in grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Moms, Parenting, Uncategorized by

Last summer I was performing one of my favorite grandmotherly duties, which is spoiling my grandson’s rotten!

 Their names are Jeremy and Jesse. This particular time we were eating ice cream on a hot summer day. It was a special treat, and they were enjoying it thoroughly.

 Suddenly, Jeremy scrunched up his little five-year-old face and started pounding his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Jeremy, what are you doing?” I wanted to know. “I’ve got brain freeze!” he wailed.

It was obvious that he had experienced brain freeze before, since he knew exactly how to identify it. I smiled on the inside, and jumped up to pour him a glass of water hoping that it would ease the freeze. Then he asked me a question that stumped me. “Why did God make brain freeze when it hurts so bad?”  “Well, ummmm…well,” I stammered in response.

How on earth do you explain the problem of pain and suffering to a five-year-old? Do you go back to the Garden of Eden and explain how perfect things were before Adam and Eve took a bite out of forbidden fruit? (You don’t dare identify it as an apple when you’re talking to a five-year-old, or he might never eat another one again.)

 And if you start your answer with an explanation of Adam and Eve in the perfect paradise, then the next time your grandchild comes over, he’s going to want you to take him to the Garden of Eden to play. And he’s going to want to know, “Is it kind of like Disney World?”

And when you explain that it didn’t have any rides or pirate shows, he’ll wonder why on earth God wasted his time building it and why wasn’t there a pirate ship there?  I realized that I could try a different approach to explain how only Gods knows why but all my possible answers were triggering red flags.

Then as I sat there stumped, I realized that Jeremy wasn’t the only one with brain freeze. I was suffering a terrible case of it myself!  Even though I had answered this question many times throughout the years. I couldn’t come up with an appropriate explanation for a five-year old to save my life!

 Finally as he stared at me, waiting for my response, I replied, “Hey, that’s a great question, Jeremy. We’ll have to ask God when we get to heaven.” “Okay,” he replied.

Then he said or we can wait until my mom comes home and ask her cause she knows everything. I said, that’s a great idea Jeremy! 

 He finished scraping the bottom of his dessert dish, took one last sip of water, and jumped down from his seat. He ran to play cars with his brother, his brain was sufficiently thawed and so was mine.

 Apparently, it seems the best answers are the simple ones. By the time his mom came home we forgot all about the brain freeze.

Mrs. Doubtfire Are We Still A Family?

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Life, Moms, Parenting, relationships, Women by

In the movie Mrs.Doubtfire a little girl named Katie Mc Komcick writes a letter to Mrs.Doubtfire asking this question: If my parents are separated are we still a family? 

 Uunfortunately this is a question that many children are asking their parents and grandparents in today’s society and Mrs. Doubtfire’s response it worth taking to heart. 

The plot of the movie is about Miranda played by Sally Field who is an interior designer and decides to divorce her husband Daniel because he is irresponsible. Being a working mother of three children she decides to hire a housekeeper and after interviewing many candidates she hires Mrs. Doubtfire who turns out to be her ex husband Daniel played by Robin Williams.

The reason that Daniel decided to create the persona that he was a lovely Scottish sixty year old woman who was seeking a position as a housekeeper was so that he could spend time with his children after to courts said that he could only see  them on  Saturdays. As time goes on Mrs. Doubtfire wins the hearts of Miranda and their children then Mirada discovers that Mrs. Doubtfire is her ex husband and agrees to allow him to see their children as much as he wants.

Mean while Daniels luck changes when he appears as Mrs. Doubtfire in a children’s television program called “Euphegenia House” and it becomes the top rated television show in that time slot.

One day while Mrs. Doubtfire is relaxing in an oversized wingback chair and she receives a letter written by a little girl named Katie and in the letter she asks Mrs. Doubtfire this question: Are we still a family?

Dear Mrs. Doubtfire,

Two months ago my mom and dad decided to separate and not live in the same  house . My brother Andrew said we are not to be a family anymore. Is this true?  Am I to lose my family?  Is there anything I can do to bring them back together?  Mrs. Doubtfire’s response is wonderful and one we should all take to heart.

Dear Katie Mc Komcick,

Some parents when they are angry get along better when they don’t live together sometimes they don’t get back together and sometimes they do. But don’t blame yourself just because they don’t love each other anymore it doesn’t mean they don’t love you and there are many different kinds of families. 

What words of wisdom every child whose parents are separated or divorced needs to be told such kind words of wisdom and have a Mrs. Doubtfire type of women in their lives don’t they?

Isn’t it awesome that the Mrs. Doubtfire’s in our lives come in all kinds of shapes and sizes they may be your Grandmother, Aunt, Neighbor or a Teacher.

They are the ones that we hold close to our hearts because they unconditionally love us through thick and thin, they are our super hero‘s and we are super hero’s in their eyes too.

 They may not be a relative but they are like having an Aunt, Mother, Grandmother and a Best Friend all rolled up in one woman. They are truly amazing aren’t they? They’re down to earth, smart, funny and a little zany. 

They love us and our children unconditionally, they laugh and cry with us, they listen to our concerns about life and they tell us what they think instead of telling us what we want to hear. Some day you might be asked the question.  Are we still a family?  Although the answer may be no not a nuclear family make sure you reassure them that they still belong to a family and are loved. The relationship with your children is more important than the problems between the adults.