Category Archives: Marriage

“Flowers Are love’s Truest Language”

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, family, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Weddings by

The Flower GirlFlowers are a beautiful addition to any wedding decor, as well as a lovely adornment for the wedding party. Brides make sure they choose flowers with care and consideration to enhance their ceremony. It’s been said, that during Victorian times, lovers would send messages to each other using different flowers, with each flower having its own meaning. These associations were soon adopted for the bride’s bouquets and are still used today by many brides. Isn’t that romantic?

During Roman times, brides and grooms wore floral garlands to signify new life and hope for fertility. The custom of the bride carrying flowers has its roots in ancient times. Strong smelling herbs and spices were thought to ward off and drive away evil spirits and ill-health.

Flowers are love’s truest language and here is a few of the most popular wedding flowers preferred by brides today and their symbolic meanings.

  • Anemones: Represents expectations and they bloom in either single or double blossoms an is in season from fall (Japanese) to spring (Wood or De Can)
  • Baby’s Breath: Represents innocence and is best used as a filler in bouquets, corsage and are in season year round.
  • Calla Lily: Means magnificent beauty and this large tropical flower is very popular in weddings.
  • Carnations: Pink represents boldness, red symbolizes love and white indicates talent, some other colors have negative connotations. Carnations are in season all year-round and have a very light fragrance or none at all.
  • Chrysanthemum or Mum: Meaning wealth, abundance, truth and the name literally means “Golden Flower” used most often in the fall.
  • Daffodil: Meaning regard and is most often used in the spring.
  • Daisy: Meaning share your feelings and are in season year-round.
  • Freesia: Meaning innocence and spring brides enjoy the sweet fragrance of the freesia flower.
  • Gardenia: Meaning purity and joy.
  • Hydrangea: Meaning understanding and is used by spring and fall wedding bouquets and arrangements.
  • Iris: Meaning a message of faith, wisdom and spring brides enjoy this beautiful flower as part of their wedding bouquets.
  • Lilac: Meaning love’s first emotions with a strong fragrance. A little flower fact: The local lilac is grown like a bush, and is used as a filler because of the greenery. The French lilac is more flower like and can be used as such in bouquets and arrangements. This exotic flower comes in a variety of colors and sizes.
  • Lily of the Valley: Meaning happiness and these small, fragile, bell-shaped flowers are considered traditional marriage flowers.
  • Magnolia: Love of nature and are best used for flower arrangements by spring or summer brides.
  • Orchid: Meaning love, beauty and is best used for bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages.
  •  Roses:  Meaning love, joy and they are the most popular wedding flower.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
  •   Stephanotis: Meaning marital happiness. They are best used for bouquets and arrangements. Brides love their trumpet shape blossoms consider them traditional bridal flowers, no doubt due to their meaning.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
  • Tulips: Meaning love, passion this flower is a favorite for spring brides. Flower fact: These sweet and stately flowers can be found in myriad of colors. Let’s not forget the Sunflower many country brides love their sunflowers!

Brides and Grooms will be celebrating World Marriage Day on the second Sunday in February and it honors husbands and wives as the basic units of society, and statutes for “the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice, and joy in daily married life. This is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate with flowers that express your truest love language to your sweetheart.

Carol. E.

“A Little Bit Of Love”

Posted in friendships, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Romace, Women by

A Country Girls WeddingAlways remember I love you in February, April, and May; in December and all through the winter. In spring, and through long hot summer days. Always remember I love you, and when I am far away. . . know that you are close to my heart and from the start no one could take your place. I am so happy to have found you and to spend my days walking along with you. Knowing you are always there for me reminds of just how much you mean to me too.

I’m a little bit more in love with you each morning when I wake up. I’m  little bit more in love with you every time you say my name. I’m a little bit more in love with you every  time you walk into the room. I’m a little bit more in love with you everyday. I love you today and I’ll love you tomorrow. I love you in good times an I’ll love you in sorrow. I’ll take you just the way you are or any way you choose to be because I love you.

The day you came into my life . . . the sun shone brighter, the flowers opened wider, the stars spun in the sky and my heart was happy. Thank you for believing in me when I pushed you away.Thank you for taking the time to  help me find my way. Thank  you for standing beside me. Thank you for each day you were there for me. Thank you for riding through the rough waters of change with me and holding my hand but most of all thank you for loving me.

“Romance After The Honeymoon”

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, Kissing, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships by

Making MemoriesRomance is the champagne and frosted glasses of love, the magic that gives love a tango dance to, a fragrance  to remember, and a fantasy-come-true to hold in your heart.

Romance is the antidote to ordinariness, the inspiration for passion; whenever you fold it into your relationship, you instantly elevate it to a more delicious state of being.

Romanced, you feel beautiful or handsome; life becomes ripe with hope; the moon, stars,and planets bathe you in a cascade of beneficent light; and you believe that everything is possible—-your sweetest, wildest, and most cherished dreams will certainly come true. At least that’s certainly how we feel in the rosy blush of new romance. But the feeling of romance doesn’t just stick around all by itself. As time goes on, it takes effort , ingenuity, intuition, and sometimes even a willingness to feel foolish, to keep the moonlight magical. 

That’s because somewhere along the line, without quite paying attention, we stop doing the things that kindled romance in the first place: we forget to bring the long-stemmed roses and to whisper the sweet nothings: we leave the lights on (or off), we trade in the black lingerie for flannel pajamas. In short, we start treating one another as roommates instead of passionate lovers.

But we can still have romance in our lives, no matter how we’ve been together. Chill the glasses. Remember the roses. Install a new dimmer, light the candles, and forget about the candle drip-dripping on the table. Play the song you first heard on your honeymoon. Dress the bed in red sheets. Drive up the hill to watch the sunset and kiss (and kiss) in the car.

Every so often, Dave plays a romantic SOS trick on his wife Stella. He calls her up from somewhere, says he’s having trouble with his car, and asks if she can please come pick him up. When she arrives, it turns out he’s fully wrapped a present it might be a  dress or a sexy new night-gown.He checks them into a room and orders dinner from room service. After dinner, they go dancing and then make passionate love. Needless to say, Stella is ecstatic every time.

When it comes to kindling romance, you have to be willing to be creative, even if at first you feel shy or embarrassed. Remember, you weren’t embarrassed by all those love notes and love songs when you were falling in love. The art of romance takes practice. The more you allow yourself to stretch the limits of what feels comfortable to you. (And if you’re the receiver of these endeavors to enchant, be sure to respond with appreciation.  If you do you will definitely increase the romance quotient in your life.

So whatever your particular romantic preferences may be, be sure to indulge them as much as you can.Don’t let opportunities slip through the cracks. Like the relationship it will embellish, romance is a very special art form whose greatest reward is the joy if true passion.

“Ruth- Ann Is Gettin’ Hitched”

Posted in Brides and Grooms, Humor, Life, Love, Marriage, Moms, relationships, Romace by
 

"Grace was in her steps,heaven in her eyes."

Late one night, Ruth- Ann came home from a date with her boyfriend.

Her crestfallen face was streaked with tears.” You look as gloomy as a treed coon”, said her mama. What’s wrong, darlin’?

“Billy- Ray proposed to me tonight,” Ruth Ann replied. “Well, hush my mouth!” her mama shouted with joy. “Ain’t that the bee’s knees! So why the long face?

” He don’t believe there’s a hell.” “Marry him anyway.” advised her mama. “Between the two of us, we’ll show him just how wrong he is!”

“Wedding Bliss In A Shoe Box”

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, Family Values, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Weddings by

 Wedding Bliss                                                                                       

Stella and Johnny spent their fiftieth wedding anniversary reminiscing about how amazing their wedding was. Stella said, it seemed like each flower bloomed on que and represented their love for each other, the candles were bright and dancing, the wedding party didn’t miss a step as the wedding march played. 

It was a grand wedding and after the I do’s and good byes Stella’s, elderly grandmother Sadie, stopped Stella and reminded her of the two promises that Stella, had made to her when she announced her wedding plans.  Stella,reassured Sadie,that she was looking forward to fulfilling her grandmothers requests. 

The first request was that Stella and Johnny would spend their honeymoon in Niagara Falls, New York because it was family tradition. The second request was that Stella would always keep mad money in the shoe box on the shelf in her closet and that Johnny would never snoop in it. Sadie, gave her a decorated wedding shoe box that she called, her “wedding bliss box” and promised her grand-daughter that it would work.

After Johnny carried Stella across the threshold of their first home, she placed a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked him never to touch it. For fifty years Johnny left the box alone. But one day, while he was searching for the deed to their house, he spotted the box. Caving in to temptations, he opened it. To his surprise, he found two doilies and $75,000 in cash. He put the box back in the closet. Puzzled about what he had found, he confessed to Stella that he had opened the box and begged her to explain the contents. 

“Grandma Sadie”, gave me her shoe box just as I was getting ready to walk down the aisle, to say my wedding vows,” Stella explained. “She told me to make a doily for every time I became mad at you and we would enjoy a long and happy marriage” Johnny was genuinely touched that in a half century, his wife had been mad at him only twice. ” So where did the $75.000 come from?” he asked.”Oh, replied Stella’s, “that’s the money I made from selling the rest of the doilies.”  Stella, smiled and under her breath thanked her grandmother for the best advice a bride could receive.

Would Your Rather Clean Your House Than Spend The Day With Your Mother In Law?

Posted in Daughtrer-In-Laws, Dreams, family, Family Values, friendships, generational changes, grandkids, Life, Love, Marriage, Mother-In-Laws, Psychology, relationships, Uncategorized, Women by

 Would you rather clean your house than spend the day with your mother in law? A survey by iVillage in 2010 found that 51% of DILs (daughter-in-laws) said, they would rather spend the day cleaning their house than with their MIL ( mother in law); and 28% percent they’d rather have a root canal! A Cambridge University study of hundreds of families over a twenty-year period found that more than 60 percent of the women said, their relationship with their mother-in-law was stressful for them! Daughter-in-laws had a chance to vent about  their mother-in-laws and grandmother in-laws. The answers were immediate, intense, and anxious often saying, “What ever you do, maintain my anonymity. 

They might not apply to you at all, but it’s good to get a window into what DILs are thinking. If you’re sure you want to know what they said, here’s what they said… Thanks, but no thanks when it comes to parenting advice. They want to raise their kids their own way and make their own mistakes. The story you tell about how your son loves your home-baked deserts that you tell just as your daughter in-law brings out the cake she bought at the bakery is an example of a mother in law being passive-aggressive in her  behavior and if you are a mother in law you may be surprised to be told you are still being aggressive even if you are being subtle stop it!  Let’s stop standing on ceremony.

 One daughter in law said, it bothered  her mother in law when she didn’t send her a thank-you note for the baby’s birthday present. She though of her as family and felt like saying, to her mother in law, ” I am not the rude ingrate that you think I am and yes, I am good enough for your son”. It’s sweet that you think your son is so perfect, as long as you also understand that I’m perfect for him. DILs would appreciate it if  their MILs would ask them for some gift ideas and respect the limits  for birthdays and holidays.

They know that they are not like their mother in-laws. But that doesn’t mean they don’t respect the heck out of them.  Remember, she married your son knowing full well that “She married the whole family.” All this  Mother in law business is not a great mystery to daughter in-laws because after all they understand that  their mother in law was the first woman in her husband’s life and have known him longer (and maybe better) than she does. She has taken care of him… and did it very well.  She may be expecting to share holidays and all special occasions with her son’s wife and  family.

The mother in law has her own relationship with her children…the grandchildren and she will usually take her son’s side… even if she doesn’t say so aloud.You can decrease the issues somewhat and sometimes but not all the time. If  you are a mother in law you may be saying to yourself why brother? The answer is simply, you try your best for your grandchildren! You may wonder why should you make the first move? For your grandchildren’s sake that is why! Why let things pass? For your grandchildren that’s why! Let’s start with a few suggestions: See what your daughter-in-law is like with other people, and don’t expect her to be different with you.

On the other hand if she is kind and considerate to other family members and her close friends and not to you. There’s your answer, she doesn’t really like you but you still have to be kind to her for your grandchildren sake! Treat your daughter-in-law with the same patience and politeness you show your own daughter or your close friends or even new acquaintances. The odds are that your daughter-in-law will not have the same kind of personality as your daughter or your close friends because they are like you so go for new acquaintances.

If things get really tough, pretend you’re writing a movie and become an observer instead of participant… it will help to give you psychological distance and enough emotional breathing room to feel in control of your emotions, and sometimes a laugh. Look at the up side of this one you could end up writing a book or a movie script or just feel better and don’t forget to vent with all the other mother in-laws who are in the same boat. Remember you’re not alone just take a few minutes and read any book about DILs and MILs.

 You may be surprised to learn that there are many of blogs used for DILs or MILs as a place to vent. Take a look on-line there are thousands of  women venting about the women in their lives. The most important thing to remember is keep your sense of humor and pray, pray and then pray some more. Want to calm the stormy seas? Here are some tips: Never, never, never…say, “My son is right. Never say, “I think you should. Never say, “I just assumed that…”  You may be asking yourself is there anything we should say? Here are a few suggestions from seasoned mother-in-laws and grandparents…

Tell her stories about your son that will amuse her and interest her and not stories that will make her feel that you think he’s perfect. Make sure you say positive reinforcement statements and yes that can be a challenge when you know in your heart of hearts that she doesn’t like you or resents you but do it for the grandchildren. Say positive statements, like “I respect how you’re raising your kids.” They may not do things the way you did, but it’s a different world today. Find something positive to say that will ring true. Offer to do the dishes or the laundry… or make dinner, be there to help. Don’t be surprised if she tells you “know” that she prefers to it herself it’s an ego issue.  Try saying things like,” Don’t worry; you’re wonderful parents.” They’re probably nervous about every decision they make, and those kind words can make them feel so great and so warm toward you! Your children are wonderful.” All kids go through difficult stages. Tell her your kids did, and they turned out great.

“I’m here if you need me.” You know they’re up on all the latest information about child safety, diet, and development. Just let them know that if they want your advice, they can ask for it and you’ll be happy to share it. Daughter-in-laws usually turn to their mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunts before they’ll ask their mother-in-law. Oops! Does that sting? “Keep in mind that all parents feel insecure sometimes.” Parenting can be learned only on the job, and not matter how many blogs and books they read or experts they consult or even if they ask for advice from you, nobody knows their child as they do.

In the Bible, Ruth praise, respects, and loves her mother-in-law, Naomi. Although some of your friends or maybe even you think that your daughter in law (DIL ) feels the same way, most say they are not as lucky as Naomi. They describe their mother in law/daughter in law relationships as one of the most sensitive and complicated relationships they’ve ever had. But at the same time, they know in fact we all know it’s one of the most important relationships we’ll ever have, because if we don’t have a working relationship with our daughter in-laws, we won’t have a relationship that works with our grandchildren! So if you have an excellent relationship with your daughter in law cherish it! And if you don’t, there are things you can do to improve it, the first step is to pray about it and talk to a seasoned mother in-law you respect.

“Gettin’ Hitched The Country Way”

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, Humor, Life, Love, Marriage, Planning A Wedding, relationships, Romace, Weddings by

                                                                                                     

 Country folk paint their sentences in the most vivid and original analogies when it comes to what love is and isn’t. They sew simple words of emotion into quilts of truisms, and season their language with zesty wit and biting rage. There is always an element of truth in these beliefs from the nation’s backwoods and front porches,  reflecting a way of thinking that can touch us all in different ways. 

Those wonderful down-home folks of the farms, mountains, and ranges of America have had plenty to say about love, marriage, breakups, and heartache. If you’ve been smitten by Cupid, you’ll enjoy a few of these country love sayings they are as tender and sweet as honey-dipped chicken wings. You’ll see for yourself that when it comes to romance, the denizens of the hollows, hamlets, and hinterlands of America have their own charming, inventive ways of speaking from the heart.

But heaven help you if you cross them, because there’s another side to country talk that is a furious flurry of poison-tipped barbs aimed at cheaters, ner’er-do-wells, and cads who have broken lovers’ hearts.  If you’re suffering from heartache or you’re seeking revenge over a romance turned sour, you’ll find plenty of boonies-born saying that are as fiery and spicy as chile peppers dipped in homemade horseradish. The sayings have emerged from virtually every nook and cranny of America from lovey-dovey places like Romance, to Arkansas; Sweet lips, Tennessee;   Bridal Veil, Oregon; Matrimony, North Carolina; Valentine, Nebraska; Loving, Oklahoma; and Hearts Content, Pennsylvania. let’s not leave out a few auguished-sounding places like Bitter End, Tennessee; Screamerville, Virginia; Hell Hollow, New Hampshire; Bedlam, Connecticut; Loveless, Alabama; Heartease, Mississippi: Little Hope, Texas; and Farewell, Missouri.

Musins’ About Weddings…

About the beautiful bride, you might say… Grace was in her steps, heaven in her eyes. About the happy groom, you might say… I’m plumb tickled to death to be walkin’ down the aisle of love. The sweet ceremony in describing what a loving and emotional wedding it was you might say… It’d bring a tear to a glass eye. The amazing ceremony, if you’re enjoying the best wedding you’re ever attended, you might say… I’ve been to three country fairs and a  hog butcherin’ but I ain’t never seen notin’  like this before. The happy newlyweds, as you happily walk together out of the church on your wedding day, you might say… I’ve got the world by the tail with a downhill pull. Wedding Sympathy, when seeing the groom walk into the church, you might say… Well, that’s the last real decision he’ll ever make.  

“OLD WIVES  TALES”   

Vows sweetly spoken won’t ever be broken. A lovely day, a lovely bride.  A weepin’ bride will be a laughin’ wife.  A laughin’ bride will be a weepin’ wife. Marry in May, rue the day. Marry  in white, always be right. Mary in blue, always be true.  Marry in brown, live in town.  Mary in black, don’t look back. Marry in green and never be seen. Marry in red, be loved for who you are.

” The Bride Made A Better Offer”

During the wedding rehearsal, John the groom approached the preacher with an unusual offer: “I’ll give you one hundred bucks if you’ll change the weddin’ vows.” “What you get ot the part where I’m supposed to promise and love, honor, obey and be faithful to her forever, just leave that part out.”  The next day at the ceremony, when it came time for the groom’s vows. The preacher looked John in the eye and said, “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not even look at another woman for as long as you both shall live?”

Stunned speechless, John gulped and looked around as all eyes were on him. Feeling totally betrayed and too afraid to bolt from the altar, he squeaked out, “I will.” When the ceremony was over, the groom, whose shock had turned to anger, pulled the preacher aside and, through clenched teeth, hissed, I thought we had a deal. We did admitted the preacher as he returned the hundred dollars that John had bribed him with and whispered in John’s ear, the bride made me a better offer to change the vows.                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

 You don’t have to live in lovey-dovey places like Romance, Arkansas or Sweet Lips, Tennessee to enjoy some down home country jokes and stories that have captured the joy of spoonin’, courtin’, gettin’ hitched, and havin’ relations as well as sorrow and rage of gettin’ ditched and gettin’even ones. But you can enjoy romance and gettin hitched the country way no matter where you live in America.

Find The Funny In Your Days

Posted in Divorce, friendships, Humor, Life, Marriage, Moms, Mother-In-Laws, Psychology, relationships, Spiritual, Women by

Some gals holler, others get very, very quiet. How do you let people know you are mad? Personally, I’m a walker just let me go for a long walk and talk it out to myself and then I return a different gal. How about you? Are you a cupboard door slammer or maybe you just get very, very quite. Emotions are interesting things aren’t they?  We all have them, we are all affected by them, and we all try to hide them sometimes.

Then there are those gals who cannot hide their emotions and are subject to comments like, “she wears her heart on her sleeve”  or “It is written all over her face.” “Twitching eye-brows, clenched  jaw, blushing checks and pursed lips are telltale sign of our inner fluttering hearts, churning stomachs, indignant sensibilities, or raging hormones. But emotions don’t like to stay hidden for long. In subtle, or not-so-subtle ways, we broadcast our feelings to the world.

Our emotional vocabulary includes some pretty interesting phraseology. We talk about our stomach dropping out, our heart stopping, or blowing our stack. We feel  down in the dumps, hopping mad, in a tizzy, all choked up, in a funk, sick at heart, swamped, and at odds with ourselves. And when it is time for these emotions to come gushing out they take many forms: temper tantrums, endless ranting, sleepless nights, mood swings, critical attitudes, blind rages, constant complaining, pity parties and hissy fits. Unfortunately these very popular options have some serious consequences and if you have experienced  venting to a friend, co-worker or spouse and they have betrayed you by gossiping or even ending the relationship then you clearly understand how hurtful and embracing venting to the wrong person at the wrong time can be.

Proverbs 29:11 says. “Only a fool vents all his feeling, but a wise man hold them back.” That doesn’t mean we should bottle it all up. No, Even God knows we just need to release some of that inner turbulence carefully. Do you have someone you can trust, someone who will never tell what comes up during an angry spat, someone who can listen with understanding, someone you can vent to? Though it comes most naturally to let off steam in the form of angry words or bitter complaints, laughter is a wonderful alternative! Remember the advertising ” Don’t get mad, get Glad!” t.m. Have you ever turned a frustrating event into a funny story? Try it and see if it changes how you feel about the situation. We can sigh about things, or we can laugh. Both these responses release pressure, but which is  the most fun? We laugh so we won’t scream. What ever it is probably won’t go away, so we might as well live and laugh through it.

When we choose to release some of our frustrations with laughter, we allow others around us to relax and join in the chuckle. It’s  not hard to spot complainers, with their furrowed brows and down-turned lips. Their ways of  venting can be downright depressing to those who are forced to endure them. The next time you encounter someone in a such a state of disarray, interrupt their coming tirade and commands, by ” putting your eye brows up.” It might sound silly, but it works. It’s very hard to maintain a frown with arching your eyebrows. First try it on a child their expressions dissolve into a smile and a giggle. Then, their concerns can be talked about without the stormy face. Try it! Remember that in the midst of our fears, our worries, and our stresses, God encourages us to call for Him 24/7 at no charge. We won’t get a busy signal or a voice mailbox. He’s right there, waiting for us. You might  even try texting Him who knows…

“When Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!”

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Psychology, Quotes, relationships, Romace, Women by

Many couples are putting their children at the center of the family. This doesn’t sound like a bad thing, after all, aren’t your grandchildren the apple of your eye too? But when parents put their children ahead of  their own needs, ahead of their marriage, it may seem child friendly, but it can lead to complications.

When children are the absolute center of the family, they can grow up without boundaries. This can lead to demanding, entitled kids. Who become demanding, entitled adults. You might have a friend or two who are demanding and they can be difficult to get along with. Can’t they? 

 No one wants their children or grandchildren to turn out to be demanding. Do they? Some acting out might be all right for a child, but future bosses, spouses and friends will probably not be so tolerant. Will they? Furthermore, being the center of the family is too much pressure for most children. Children cannot fulfill all their parents‘ emotional needs and it’s not fair to expect them to. Children in this position often feel they need to parent their parents and that’s not their job. Actually, it’s your job to be there for your children when they are parents.

Remind them to make time for themselves, their spouses and friends if you want to be helpful offer to babysit so they can have a date night or weekend getaway, and you’ll get to spend extra time with your grandchildren.  Bob and Jane being the wise parents and grandparents that they are, offered to babysit their grandchildren while Jim and  Lynn went out on the town.  As Lynn was leaving, she told her children to listen to Nana and Pops and then gave them a kiss on the cheek and thanked her parents.

Well, Bob winked at Lynn while reminding her of this old saying,”When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Bob’s point was that couples need to spend time together just the two of  them and keep the romance going.  Now Jim plans romantic surprise date nights at least twice a month and all Lynn has to do is show up . Jim and Lynn are feeling reconnected and Nana and Pops are “Happy Grands.” Jim agrees with Bob “When Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!

A Life Time Of Walking Together

Posted in Brides and Grooms, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Romace, summer, Women by

Every wish I’ve ever wished for and every hope I’ve ever had, mixed with every dream I’ve ever dreamed came true the day I met you!  I love you more than there are stars in the sky.  Sharon and David were married for over sixty years their love story is about a walk in the summer time turned into a life time of walking through many seasons together.

Sharon: I have a twin sister, Karen and you have a twin brother Danny. When we met we were sixteen and a half, and we were waitresses in a hotel. You and Danny were musicians in a band and we thought you were handsome, which you still are.

David: At first, you and your sister couldn’t tell us apart and we couldn’t tell you two apart. Do you remember how you decided on which one you were going with?

Sharon: We said, with whomever asked us to go for a walk first and you asked me first. After that when ever you and Danny came in to eat you always asked for me, you never asked for Karen.  Lo and behold, we ended up dating and marring.  Karen went for a walk with Danny; she married him. Lucky us, because I don’t think it would’ve worked the other way.You were tall and handsome. And to me, being a musician made you glamorous and sexy, automatically. You took me out for my seventeenth birthday. We saw, Oklahoma on Broadway. I had never dated anyone else, but from then on I  knew I loved you, and there was no chance of separating us.

David: We didn’t skip a beat we went right from a summer romance into the winter, and on and on.

Sharon: We were married in Borough Park, Brooklyn. You and I married the same day as Karen and Danny it was quite a big affair, two brides, two grooms,  identical gowns, flowers and one set of parents for two brides.

David: We both went on our honeymoon by train to Miami Beach, but we went on different trains and to different hotels, so people wouldn’t stare at us. What did you think about marrying me so many years ago? Did you think it would last this many years?

Sharon: I never thought my marriage would last this many years because to me divorce was not a foreign word, if you remember, David, my mother was a divorced woman when she in her thirties. But I was sure you were the right one for me. And you know what?  I was right. You are the right one for me. I like the way you kiss.You  bowled me over sixty-some odd years ago with your way of kissing, and the way you  fantastically hold me, and I feel it . It’s genuine.

David: You’ve told me that many times, but it still makes me feel great to hear you say that, honey!

Sharon: There are times we can be so annoyed at each other and we get up set at each other but when push comes to shove, we let it go.  And we’re back to our normal selves, because being unhappy is part of being happy. When two people get married,  they say two people become one. No, I don’t agree. Two people should remain two people but walk side by side. I’ve not become David. David has not become me. We remain Sharon and David. And to me that’s important.

David said, to Karen, you made my life complete and  I pray that we will have sixty more years together.

Sharon said,to David, I will  take five more good ones  and I’ll say, “Thank you, God!” 

Recorded in Brooklyn, New York on May 15th,  Sharon, 80 and David, 86

Love Blooms In New York

Posted in Brides and Grooms, Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Romace by

Scott was across the room and their eyes met. Soon they communicated with words and their body language, but it was their eyes that made the first contact.

Scott was single and feeling lonely on New’s Years Eve. He was living in the Bronx and he was on his way to party in Manhattan, but at the last-minute he felt restless, so he wondered the streets of Manhattan.

After hours of wondering he decided to go into “The Paris Cafe”, and he happened to look over at a corner table, and there was this ravishing beautiful woman sitting by herself, wearing a beautiful dress with Audrey Hepburn gloves and her hair was all done up making eye contact with him.

He approached her and introduced himself and she invited him to join her. After enjoying a New Years Eve’s toast to bring in 1992, they wandered around the Lower East Side and talked all night together. Her name was Isabela and she from San Fransisco. The next day Scott wanted to spend time with her so he drove her to the airport and they stayed in the parking lot for a couple of hours, like they were at a drive-in talking.

They kept in touch by writing letters, and then they started making cassette tapes. He commuted into Manhattan, and he had a little Walkman, so on those one-hour commutes into town he would just interview anybody he saw. He interviewed the brakeman on the subway, He’d say, “I know this girl in San Francisco I really dig, and I’d like you to say hello to her.” He played the song ” I left my heart in San Fransisco” by Tony Bennet more times than he will ever admit.  He was just sharing the joyful feelings that he had for her with the world. He sent them to her as a surprise and she started interviewing people too and sent them to him.

She started interviewing strangers to say something into her recorder, the coffee grinders, newspaper delivery guys and once in a while ambulance drivers. When she couldn’t find a stranger she enlisted help from her family, friends and co-workers. Everyone she knew or had just met started following her love story and cheering her on. Scott and Isabela found themselves playing their recording other over and over. They were courting each other form such a long distance, so playing them was comforting. Scott could only hear voices so he imaged the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. He would think about how beautiful San Francisco was and try to imagine what it would be like to be there.

They started to send each other things they wanted to share, keepsakes, books,songs, small gifts. She knew he was smitten with her when he sent her his grandmothers toaster, and there was a card with it that said, ” I hope some day I’ll be there with you so I can toast your buns for you.”She used to reread the letters he sent her a lot, and of course she used the toaster . And then he sent her salt and pepper shakers from his grandma too. Isabel wondered if he was gradually moving in with her without her knowing it. Her favorite song become New York, New York by Frank Sinatra everywhere she went she would be singing  these words, “start spending the news I’m leaving today I want to be a part of it, New York, New York.” .

In April, Scott surprised her by visiting her for two weeks and on the plane back, he said, This is it! This is the girl. But he didn’t know, how they would make it work? Then over the phone he said, to her I’m moving to San Fransisco in two months. It was really just the most incredible experience, going all that way and knowing that he was going to see this beautiful girl that he had fallen love with.  He wondered was there really the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for them?  In a six month period they had become best of friends through writing letters, tapes and phone calls.

One night at a dinner party one of Isabela’s friends said to Scoot , ” Not all Girlfriends want to be girlfriends forever, you know.” That’s when a lightbulb came on for Scott: “Oh, I should ask her to marry me?  She nodded and said, happiness is happiness. Scott excused himself and went up to Isabela and purposed to her and they were married two months later.Scott and Isabela just celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary and are happy to report they still use grandma’s toaster. This is a true story.

Celebrate And Rejoice In The Moment

Posted in Life, Love, Marriage, Psychology, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

  Celebrating and rejoicing is feeling joy, allowing the feelings of exhilaration and delight to enter your being and fill you with a fine,ecstatic sense of celebration. We all need to rejoice, to slather ourselves with exultation, because life if hard and at times our paths are very difficult. 

We need to rejoice because there isn’t enough rejoicing in the world. And we need to rejoice together because, in this world of self-indulgent  and nonstop competitive people, it’s often hard to find a kindred soul with whom to rejoice with.

Rejoicing is empathy at the encouraging end of the spectrum: and, although you may think it’s easier to rejoice than to commiserate with someone, rejoicing, too can be difficult.

As a matter of fact, a lot of people feel so defeated in their own lives that instead of being able to celebrate with anyone else, they feel jealousy or self-pity.

Indeed, unless you’ve really been able to feel your own joy, you may have a difficult time rejoicing, even with the love of your life. So, in order to truly rejoice with someone you must allow yourself to rejoice first of all in your own life, about all the things that delight you, that brighten your day, that makes your heart glad. Celebrate your victories: exult your own achievements. Then you’ll be well prepared to really rejoice with your sweetheart, family and friends.

Rejoicing together is breathing in joy, being together in the beauty of the moment (of soul washing tears, of life is breathing in joy,  in the hour of unbridled happiness, of sweet or stunning success. It is to be the loving witness at the epiphany of a talent (his book, her photography show, his all-star game, her tennis match, to celebrate special occasions: birthdays, anniversaries, lifetime achievement awards. It is also to rejoice in all the cycles of your life.

Rejoice in the times and years you have shared with loved ones and friends, crises you have lived through, reunions that rekindled your friendships, and even all the disagreements you have had with your sweetheart and loved ones and their healing resolutions. We must rejoice together because joy begets itself. It brings us more joy, more hilarity, and fun. So one by one, and above all, together rejoice!

The Mother In Law Relationship Is Complicated

Posted in Chidren, Daughtrer-In-Laws, Divorce, family, generational changes, Life, Love, Marriage, Moms, Mother-In-Laws, Parenting, Psychology, relationships, Women by

The conflicts between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws is still going on it has raged throughout all of history. Nearly 2000 B.C. Rebekah complained to her husband, Isaac, that her daughters-in-law were making her life so miserable that she would rather not even be alive. Read Genesis 27:46).

Today, some 4,000 years later, women are still complaining to their husbands about these women! Mother-in-laws are still wondering why out of all the human relationships, the one between them and their daughter-in-laws is the most complicated? Second only to step relationships of course.

There is a built-in-conflict before the relationship even begins: two radically different views of the same man. The daughter in law will see him first as a man; while the mother in law will always see him first as her child.The mother in law comes into the relationship lugging a suitcase bulging with memories. From the sweetness of babyhood through the tyranny of the teen years into adulthood, these memories have indelibly imprinted her heart. She enters into this life phase acutely aware of a door closing in her life as a mother.

The daughter in law comes waltzing in with a suite case empty of everything but confidence and anticipation. She’s eager to swing open the new door and march in and there lies the basis for struggle. Both the mother in law and the daughter in law are naturally territorial when it comes to their family. Standing in the middle of  these two overlapping territories is a man who is the son of one and husband to the other. It’s in everyone’s interest for the son to step out of the overlapping territory and fully into his wife’s territory and the sooner he does this the better.

The parental relationship is secondary to the spousal relationship, yet the bond between a mother and her child is visceral. The phase “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” refers to husband and wife, yet there is little doubt a mother holding her child in her arms feels more “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” toward her child than she does toward her husband. Again, the basis for conflict between a man’s mother and his wife.

This motherly feeling of “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” had been the source of much marital conflict: a mother consciously or unconsciously placing her child before her husband, magnifying her connection to their child. Even the court system typically give more value to the mother-child relationship.

The undeniable connection can easily cause a mother to overstep her territory and interfere with the process of her adult son transferring thus-far primary relationship, the one he has with her  to the one needs to form with his wife. If you are a mother of a son, you fully understand this tendency, because there is a powerful bond between mother and son. A man’s first significant relationship is with his mother. That bond, forged at birth, leaves a permanent imprint on both mother and son. Even if the relationship is broken, it continues to significantly impact both lives. This powerful attachment between mother and son needs to be and must be reassigned when the son introduces another woman into the picture.

Here is a scenario to consider “Suppose your son, yourself and your daughter in law were in a boat together. If the boat capsized and you and your daughter in law were both drowning, who should he save?  You might be saying to yourself, ” A man can always get another wife, but he has only one mother.”  or a daughter in law might be thinking to herself,” well his mother is old any way.” Now, now is that anyway to be thinking?

As a mother you should want your son to have a strong and healthy relationship with his wife. A mother who wants to maintain a close relationship with her son, who truly has his best interests in mind, must willingly step back and fully acknowledge and respect the relationship he is forming with his wife.

Whether she likes the woman or not. There is nothing to be gained, and much to be lost, by allowing competition to into the in law relationship. While the mother may not view her behavior as being competitive, the truth is that anything she does to maintain her status as the first woman,” whether consciously or unconsciously, will be viewed by the daughter in law as competition.

 Sometimes completely innocent behavior on the mother’s part will be wrongly interpreted this way. Knowing, this the wise mother will refuse to take offense and will carefully watch her behavior until he daughter-in-law is secure in her position. 

 Five years ago my friend Jane’s son  David married a terrific gal named Liz and on the day of their wedding Jane’s mother in law shared some advice with Jane. She said, that she chose to forget everything she had ever knew about her son and let her daughter in law discover him for herself. As any mother can image that is not easy to do. Is it? Jane and her mother in law are truly friends and enjoy each others company.

 Jane, decided  she wanted to have the same kind of relationship with her daughter in law so she decided to take her mother in laws advice and chose to forget everything she ever knew about her son David and let Liz discover him for herself.” It was a choice that has richly rewarded Jane over and over and over again. She said ,she loves how excited Liz gets when she learns something knew about David and Jane enjoys Liz’s excitement,friendship plus she completely understands why her son loves his wife as much as he does.

A successful relationship with your in-law does not necessarily mean you become best friends. It doesn’t necessarily mean enjoying lunch dates or shopping together like Jane and Liz do. Success is simply determining to live peaceably with her by any means. Success is getting up every morning and determining to leave the past in the past. Whatever your history is with your in-law find a way to make admins and move on.

Success is recognizing that at the center of your conflict is a man you both love, children you both love, and finding a way to make room for each of you to benefit from and express that shared love.
Success is consistently acting in love and letting go of the negative emotions you may have toward your in-law,start refusing to let those emotions color the quality of your life for one more minute.

Your love is like a garden, and unless you tend to it, you’ll never reap the full rewards that love can bring.

 

Consecrate Your Relationship

Posted in Life, Love, Marriage, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, traditions by

A relationship is always far more than we imagine or expect it to be. It is more than an a living arrangement, more than being together in a social arrangement, more than the bright-colored kite tail of romance.

It is the coming together of two persons whose spirits participate with one another, beautifully and painfully, in the inexorable  process of their individual becoming.

Whether it is clearly visible or not, every relationship has a higher power than itself alone, a meaning that goes beyond the conventions of love and romance, and attaches the two people in it to a destiny that has roots in the past, and wings in the future.

This purpose is to shape us individually into the highest and best versions of ourselves and to change, if only some tiny way, the essential character of the reality we have entered here by being born. To know this is to believe that whatever occurs between you such as the petty dramas and traumas, the life shaping tragedies is honing you for your unique participation in the human stream. It is to accept that the person you love has come into your life for a reason that goes beyond the satisfactions of the moment or even your personal future to reach into the web beyond time.

What you do here together, how well and how beautifully you do it, has implications not only for how cozily you sit together in your rocking chairs in your old age, but also for every other living being. We are all participants in the process of creating a species and a world that hums with  peace and is informed by love. This is our highest heritage, and when we sanctify our relationships, the difficulties and insults they contain will be instantly diminished and what will stand in their place is the overwhelming presence of real love.

Sanctifying your relationship means seeing it not as an act of self-indulgence, but as an offering of love that you deliver up with joy to the fulfilment of its higher meaning. This entails not only an attitude of acceptance but also two behaviors: making speech and keeping silence.

It means verbally acknowledging this higher truth to one another: “Thank you for being the instrument for the  discovery of my purpose,” I know we have come together for an important reason.” I love you for being my way to see the holiness of life.”

 At times it also means keeping the silence in your heart, which is a thanksgiving of this higher purpose,or engaging together in a practice of meditation, which is a walking together in spirit, a prayer that your purpose together is revealed.You love is a stitch in the fabric of the All. To see it as such is to place your relationship in the ultimate perspective and to receive from it the ultimate joy.

We all need the paths of our lives to be marked out so that we can be reminded of the quality of our lives and the beauty of our loves. We dignify and consecrate our relationships when we set them apart from the ordinary ritual. Personal rituals provide a reference not only for the value we place upon our relationships, but also for the value we ask be conferred upon them.

Relationship ceremonies say that, this day is not like all other days, this person is not like all the other people; this love is not like all other loves. Not only in our hearts but also in our actions, we intend it to be a union of meaning, with allegiance to a valuable mission. The consecration of your relationship is a creative and deeply private affair.

Set aside for a special time to acknowledge your union, your wedding anniversary perhaps; choose a specific place to honor it; and create your own private ceremony. Light candles, say words, play music. Consecrating your relationship is the sign. repeated and beautiful, that you choose to view your relationship as holy, as no mistake, and that you intend, through it and with your beloved as your witness, always to live it to the highest of its purpose.

A Few Tips For Brides

Posted in Brides, Brides and Grooms, Dreams, family, Getting Organized, Keepsakes, Life, Love, Marriage, Planning A Wedding, relationships, Spiritual, Weddings, Women by

By the time the first note of the bridal march is played, thousands of decisions have been made, for better or for worse. Knowing what to do and what not to do can help you to avoid missteps so you can make the most of your perfect day. There are many details involved in making your wedding a success, and careful attention should be paid to all of them, big and small.  Begin by getting an overview of all tasks ahead of you.

Here are a few reminders of what to do and what not to do while on your jounery to the altar.

What Not to Do?

  1.  Do not try to please others by doing your wedding as they suggest. It’s your wedding. Do it your way.
  2. Do not make major decisions with consulting your fiance’ (e).
  3. Do not discuss the details of your budget with other people. Unless they are helping to finance the event, the details are not their concern.
  4. Do not expect service providers to work for unreasonably low prices. Get the best deals you can, but be willing to pay appropriately for people’s time and efforts.
  5. Do not forget that everything will go perfectly. There are bound to be glitches, but you can deal with them.
  6. Do not make spur-of-the moment decisions about anything. Take time to consider everything carefully.
  7. Do not be rigid with your plans. Try to be flexible when possible.
  8. Do not spend so much on the wedding that you enter your new marriage heavily in debt.
  9. Do not make unreasonable demands of all the people helping you make your plans.
  10. Do not use your wedding as a time to highlight and perpetuate family differences.
  11. Do not allow differences of opinion about wedding details to come between you and your fiance’.
  12. Do not neglect your relationship with your fiance’ as you get caught up in planning the wedding.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           What to Do?

  1. Leave enough time to handle all the unexpected details.
  2. Start at the beginning by getting a game plan.
  3. Don’t forget one of the most important things to do, “seek out pre marriage counseling” with a professional that you and your fiance’ trust and rremember that the marriage is the most important thing, not the wedding.
  4. The wedding party is an important feature of the wedding begin to think about who should be part of this select group.
  5. Take advantage of a professional wedding planner if possible. It will take some of the burden off your shoulders, and will leave you time to deal with other details that only you can handle.
  6. Ask professionals who will be helping you how much time they will need to get everything done properly.
  7. Select a date for your wedding that is not already notable for something else.
  8. Choose attendants and other member of the wedding party with care. They will part of your memories of your special day, and will be a part of the photos that you will cherish.
  9. Try to choose outfits that your attendants really can wear latter.
  10. Get details in writing.There is nothing worse than thinking you are getting a particular product or service in one way, and finding out that you are incorrect. Keep receipts for everything you pay in connection to the wedding.
  11. Select some method of keeping all your details organized there are many free wedding web sites that are designed to help you and your wedding party stay organized. Weddingwire.com is an excellent. Many brides still use index cards, and some find a loose leaf notebook system helpful.
  12. List all wedding tasks to be done and assign a due date for each. This will be helpful when meeting with suppliers of goods and services. 
  13. Find out deadlines by which you will have to have particular decisions made and abide by them. Remember they are intended to help you.
  14. Get a master calendar where all activities, plans, and deadlines will be recorded.
  15. Begin to think about what type of service you would like, wha traditions you would like to honor, and what religious elements you would like to include.
  16. Have a back up plan if your wedding is planned for outdoors.
  17. As you begin to think  of whom you will invite, keep a list of extras  that out-of-town guest will need, such as a ride to the rehearsal dinner.
  18. Enlist help ahead of time to help accommodate special needs of guests.
  19. Be ready to bear the cost of extras that you ask your attendants to have, such as professionally applied make-up or perfect manicure.
  20. Check well ahead of the wedding for marriage license requirements.
  21. What to wear?  You can ease the process of dressing everyone appropriately for the ceremony by knowing what your wedding vision is before you even start.
  22. Plan to show your appreciation to members of the wedding party with a gift to help commemorate the occasion.
  23.  Remember you are blending your families,so make sure you remain respectful of your fiance’s suggestions he knows them better than you do.
  24. Send thank-you notes promptly so you do not feel overwhelmed by the task.
  25. Take time to enjoy the journey to the altar. Relax and savor the process.
  26. Begin to develop a budget for your wedding expenses.
  27. Include in the budget honorarium for the minster, musicians, and others who help the ceremony but who are not attendants.
  28. Decide up front who will pay for what.There are traditional guidelines about this, though in recent years they have become more casual they are still an important facet of planning a wedding. 
  29. Consider setting up a wedding gift registry, it helps to take the guess-work out for those who are buying you and your fiance’ gifts.
  30. Remember to tie up the loose ends and finishing with finesse because you are creating a day you will cherish for a lifetime.