Category Archives: Grandparenting

Grandpa’s Fishing Buddies

Posted in family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Keepsakes, Mentoring, relationships, Uncategorized by

The perfect gift is not always a material one. Our grandchildren do not need nor do they want what we can buy them; they need and want us. The best gift you can give them is you. Your faith, wisdom, stories, morals, life lessons, and philosophy,not to mention your time and presence.

I am most impressed with the many grandmothers whom I know who do special things and make special gifts for their grandchildren. Made by their own hands, these gifts of love are attached to forever memories.

My friend Jane hand-made matching outfits with matching hats for her grandchildren and their grandpa to wear when they went fishing together. They out grew the out fits years ago but when they go fishing with their grandpa they make sure that they all wear the hats that went to their matching out fits. They enjoy talking about the all the times they went fishing with their grandpa and are in awe of their grandmothers sewing skills.

Their fishing hats have become a physical reminder of the love and care she feels for them. Recently for their grandpa’s birthday they made a scrapbook for each family member. They included their memories and lots of photos of them fishing with him. Each photo told a story. What a treasure for them to have! They surprised their grandparents with a throw pillow made of the same print that their childhood fishing out fits were made of. Their grandparents were just thrilled in fact they seemed more impressed with the throw pillow that the scrapbook.

Many invisible gifts were given to Jane’s grandchildren while they were fishing with their grandpa. He introduced them nature, lakes, ponds, the ocean, sea creatures. He shared with them stories about fishing with his father and brother and all the antics that took place between them as he was growing up. He was able to enjoy sharing his past with his grandchildren and they got to learn things about him that if they hadn’t spent the time fishing with him they might not of ever learned about him. Those moments were the invisible gifts from one generation to the next.

Grandparents are in the perfect position to give gifts that unlock life. These gifts may be invisible to others, but they are always visible to their grandchildren. What a perfect opportunity to breathe life upon a grandchild. The invisible gift. I’ll take it. Wrap up lots of them for me and make that to go! The joy will be priceless.

In The Kitchen With Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms, Parenting by

 You don’t have to teach your grandchildren how to bake a cake like the one in this picture of a Betty Crocker birthday circus cake. All you need to do is teach them a few simply things about cooking and how your kitchen gadgets work.

Here are few suggestions to help you to think about what you and your grandchildren might like to do in your kitchen. I hope you have as much fun as I have had with my friends and family in our kitchens.

  • Let your grandchildren sit next to you while you prepare food and explain what you’re doing and why.
  • Sink Play, wrap your grandchildren in an apron or dish towel and provide lots of utensils. Then stand them safely on a chair and play water games.
  • Inviting your grandchildren to cook with you is a great way to introduce them to a verity of foods even vegetables. Ask them to hold the containers for you and let them help you pour the vegetable into a pan or crock pot. Sometime they get so excited they even eat the vegetables. Isn’t that awesome?
  • Let them make what my friend Jane’s grandchildren call “stuff” they all love mixing the most unlikely ingredients together into a big bowel to make stuff; this is a great way of exercising their creativity.
  • Ask them to clean up the mess with a paper towel
  • Let them wipe the low surfaces with a damp cloth to clean up and be helpful
  • This is one of my favorite suggestions wash paintbrushes in the sink to make rainbow water.
  • Invite  your grandchildren to go to a Strawberry or Blue Berry Farm with you.  Don’t forget to bring along personalized buckets for them.

Let them cook! Encouraging a child to help in the kitchen has benefits for everyone. You’re teaching them about cooking and being independent. When they are old enough they can cook a meal for you!

Veggie Tales

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Movies by

“God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man” is one of my grandson’s favorite songs to sing. It’s a catchy little tune isn’t it?  When we sing it over and over and over we laugh a hardy laugh. You try it, say it over and over and see how you feel afterwards. Wasn’t that fun?  Doesn’t God have a great sense of humor?  Talking Veggies! Veggie Tales is an American series of children’s animated films featuring anthropomorphic vegetables in stories conveying moral themes based  on Christianity. They frequently retell Biblical stories, sometimes anachronistically reframe, and include humours references to pop culture in many different ears by putting Veggies spins on them. Big Idea has also published Veggie Tales books and music CDs and branded items such as toys, clothing, and garden seeds for vegetables and flowers. I for one love the name “Big Idea Productions.”  for the name of the publishing company. That’s a God thing. Isn’t it?

Their aim was to produce children’s videos which conveyed Christian moral themes and taught Biblical values and lessons. The animated featured involved stories told by a group of recurring vegetable characters wh lived on a kitchen countertop. The first 30-mintue program called   “Where’s God When I’m S-Scared?”  They also released two feature-length movies in 1993 “Jonah” A Veggie Tales Movie and “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” 

VeggieTales has a continuous back story that all the cartoons are actually teleplays, performed by various vegetables and fruit that live together on the same kitchen countertop. Some of these characters have “real names,” and take on various roles in the teleplays, although they will also often appear as themselves. Most of these “regulars” were established in the very earliest videos, while some have been added more recently. 

Don’t forget!  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man,  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man. Did I tell you that God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man? I don’t think that Veggie Tales is just for kids. It’s for parents and grandparents too. Remember God Is For You!

 

Laugh Like Kids

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting, relationships by

Have you ever notice how much energy children have? Granted, they’re flinging around bodies that weigh twenty to sixty pounds while you and I weigh… never mind, let’s not go there.

But my point is that kids are indefatigable or another way to put it is that some times they seem to be incapable of being fatigued.I noticed the other day after a few hours playing with my grandsons I was all tuckered out, and needed to take a nap. As I dosed off I thought to myself I would love to be able to bottle some of their energy. Just bottle it up, and take a swig whenever I was dragging. Can you just image how much money I could make if I sold their energy in a bottle?

Whizzang! Just image that suddenly you’d be Superwoman if you had the energy of a child. If you were at work, your fingers would suddenly be flying on the keyboard at an amazing pace. What if you had the energy of a child while doing housework?  You’d have the beds made, dishes washed, socks darned, and chimney swept in the amount of time it use to take to fluff your pillow for your afternoon nap. Coworkers would gape in amazement. Friends would be amused and stare. Your husband would have to eat an energy bar just keep up with you. They’d be thrilled with your performance at work and the way your kitchen sparkled.

But my guess is that sooner or later they’d question the Crayola scribbles in the hallway, the grass strains on the knees of your best pants suites, and the distracting way you’d have of jumping up and down, blowing spit bubbles or sticking your chewing gum under your desk whenever someone was trying to get your attention.

So! Maybe we don’t really want all the energy of a kid. Still, maybe we can pick up a few pointers from the little people in our lives. Kids have such vitality. Such zest for life. They posses wild imaginations, boundless energy, and limitless passion. These are things I miss from my youth. I don’t know about you, but I would love to recapture some of the youthful zeal that characterized my life before grown-up responsibilities, problems, and anxieties started.

What secrets do kids have to share about youthful living(at any age)? What wisdom can we glean from their zestful ways? 

Lets find out. A smile a minute. A study recently revealed that children, on average, laugh four hundred times a day. Wow! isn’t that awesome? 

The same study revealed that adults laugh about fifteen times in a day. That’s not very awesome is it?

That means that our children and grandchildren are  finding something to laugh about almost every other minute.  You and I, on the other hand, are lucky if we chuckle once each waking hour. You think we might be onto something here? Do you want to feel younger? Laugh. Here are a couple of ideas that might help us to be mindful to laugh more. Write down things that make you laugh.  Is there a certain movie that tickles your fancy?  Or a humorous writer?   How about a favorite cartoonist? 

The other suggestion is to, at some point in your day, find a way to incorporate extra laughter into your day. I don’t know about you but, when I want more laughter in my life I read The Cat In The Hat books to my grandson’s and before I turn the first page we are laughing.

I still laugh when I watch some of the old black and white cartoons that I grew up watching. Sometimes watching reruns of my favorite sit coms on T.V. will get me laughing too. The third idea is well… a little zany. But I promise you wouldn’t regret trying it.

 As kids, my friends and I had this game. We would start laughing for no reason. One of us would begin the game by forcing a laugh. Not a ” ha ha ha“, mind you, but a “ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…” The person who starts the game is merely saying the word “ha” over and over. It sounds artificial and impotent. Then as the laughter begins you will feel the urge to apply some stomach muscles. You wouldn’t be laughing uncontrollably but it’s a pretty good imitation. It’s starting to coming from the gut. It sounds convincing. Usually with in a few minutes things will be in full swing and before you know it your eyes will become watery, you will experience belly laughs, giggles, and even aching ribs.

Before you know it you’ll be pinked-checked from giggling, guffawing, and gasping for air between round of laughter. We use to laugh ourselves into a state of genuine, uncontrolled, urgent  and howling hilarity. My laughing buddies are  my grandchildren if you don’t have any borrow one from a neighbor and ” ha ha ha ha ha ha” until you see stars or almost need CPR, which ever comes first.

Sometimes you wouldn’t have any idea why your laughing, But you’ll be glade that you are. If none of these suggestions work for you try putting a pillow case over head while jumping up and down on your bed I know that’s just zany isn’t it? Just laugh…

A Little Kid Humor

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting by

 Kids are taking over the world and I’m not talking about all the doctors, policemen, politicians, and attorneys who seem to be getting younger and younger every year. I’m talking about children. Real children.

More specifically, toddlers they could be your nieces and nephews, your grandchildren, your neighbor’s kids, or in some cases, even your own children.

  Sure, they seem innocent enough sitting there in their car seats or on the floor playing quietly with their toys but it’s all a ruse.

They have an agenda, they’re committed, and they’ve outsmarted us for years. Everything they do is to advance their plan to take over the world, and its time someone blew their cover. First, I’m not sure how they did it , but somehow these little kids have managed to take control of our television set. Instead of watching our favorite news programs or the History Channel, we find ourselves caving in to their desires and watching kids programs for hours on end with them. 

Granted we do get involved in their T.V. programs and sometimes even catch ourselves laughing out loud with the kids.

 I have to admit that I find myself watching “The Cat In The Hat” with out the kids.

I wonder, has anyone ever played these children’s shows theme songs backward to see if they’re sending subliminal messages to the adult world?  Messages like: “you will let me play ball in the house” “You will take me to Chuch E. Cheese’s”. “You will give me an advance on my inheritance.” “You’ll let me braid your hair in little braids and paint your toenails fluorescent pink.”

Phase two apparently happened while many of us middle-agers were taking naps. These innocent-looking children somehow convinced pharmaceutical companies of the need for our medicine bottles to come with childprood caps. Caps, I might add, that only children can open. Now on the surface, childproofing medicine bottle probably sounded like a great idea, and I do not doubt for a minute that the staff at the FDA had plenty of reputable facts to convince the agency to jump on board with the seemingly beneficial plan.

But the FDA wasn’t looking into the future to see where this action would take us as a society. ” I need my high blood  medication, Lucas,” Nana says. “Can you come over here and open this blasted thing open for me? ” Sure, Nana, as soon as you tell them the password to your safe deposit box.” These children are the same ones who also hide our glasses, car keys, wallets, and the remote control, and then merely giggle, clam up, or speak gibberish when we try to interrogate them about the missing items. “Where are my keys, Lucas?” “Algagoa.” Come on, Lucas, tell Nana where you put them.” “Dimofogu.” gibberish, gibberish, gibberish is all they will say.

Their resistance to these inquisitions would impress military experts worldwide. Both the FBI and CIA have tried to decipher their secret code, but it’s unbreakable. We’re headed for trouble, people. Just think about it who gets the power seat at the dinner table? The high chair? (see even the name sounds commanding.)  Who’s responsible for that incessant pounding on the metal trays the would make even the toughest grandparent shout out every password to every account they’ve ever owned? These toddlers, that’s who.

Remember the good ol’ days when children used to be at the mercy of adults when it came to their mobility? They either rode in a stroller or we carried them. That, too has changed. These days, kids have their own battery-operated cars to putt around in. They’re eighteen months old, and they’re already know how to drive. What’s worse, we’re probably the ones they persuaded to buy these vehicles for them.

Which brings me to their incredible business sense these youngsters are nothing short of financial geniuses. Think about it. They come to our homes selling candy for their schools and youth organizations, then they return on Halloween and take it all back! Has anyone done the math on this?

I’m telling you their hostile takeover has been planned right under our noses and we’ve been too blinded by their cuteness to see it. They’ve been holding high-level security meetings in play groups all over the world. Sure, it all looks like innocent play to us, but it isn’t. It’s their version of Camp David. Why do you think there is always a child who holds that ear-piercing, high-pitched scream? You think it’s a tantrum? I used to think that, too.

These toddlers have their own cell phones, computers, play houses, tents, and emergency vehicles. What do they need us big people for? They’ve got almost everything required to run the world on their own. Except they may need someone to change their diapers or find their pull ups.

The most amazing thing about this is how these little ones have managed to get us to run their publicity campaigns for them, and we’ve been doing it pro bono. “You want to see some pictures of the most beautiful grandchild on earth?”  “You think she’s beautiful, look at these pictures of my grandchildren.”

 All things considered maybe we’re just getting what we deserve after all these little ones have outsmarted us for years, manipulating us with their cute smiles and endearing hugs, while we’ve merely sat by and allowed it all to happen. But it’s not too late no matter how cute they are we cannot continue to roll over and let these kids take over. We can’t bury our heads and pretend we don’t know what they’re up to. It’s time we let them know once and for all whose is in charge here! It’s time we…

Sorry I had more to say but my grandson Jesse just gave me a hug and took off with my glasses and won’t give them back, so I can’t see the keys on my keyboard.  And so the conspiracy continues…

 

Mom Knows Everything

Posted in grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Moms, Parenting, Uncategorized by

Last summer I was performing one of my favorite grandmotherly duties, which is spoiling my grandson’s rotten!

 Their names are Jeremy and Jesse. This particular time we were eating ice cream on a hot summer day. It was a special treat, and they were enjoying it thoroughly.

 Suddenly, Jeremy scrunched up his little five-year-old face and started pounding his forehead with the palm of his hand. “Jeremy, what are you doing?” I wanted to know. “I’ve got brain freeze!” he wailed.

It was obvious that he had experienced brain freeze before, since he knew exactly how to identify it. I smiled on the inside, and jumped up to pour him a glass of water hoping that it would ease the freeze. Then he asked me a question that stumped me. “Why did God make brain freeze when it hurts so bad?”  “Well, ummmm…well,” I stammered in response.

How on earth do you explain the problem of pain and suffering to a five-year-old? Do you go back to the Garden of Eden and explain how perfect things were before Adam and Eve took a bite out of forbidden fruit? (You don’t dare identify it as an apple when you’re talking to a five-year-old, or he might never eat another one again.)

 And if you start your answer with an explanation of Adam and Eve in the perfect paradise, then the next time your grandchild comes over, he’s going to want you to take him to the Garden of Eden to play. And he’s going to want to know, “Is it kind of like Disney World?”

And when you explain that it didn’t have any rides or pirate shows, he’ll wonder why on earth God wasted his time building it and why wasn’t there a pirate ship there?  I realized that I could try a different approach to explain how only Gods knows why but all my possible answers were triggering red flags.

Then as I sat there stumped, I realized that Jeremy wasn’t the only one with brain freeze. I was suffering a terrible case of it myself!  Even though I had answered this question many times throughout the years. I couldn’t come up with an appropriate explanation for a five-year old to save my life!

 Finally as he stared at me, waiting for my response, I replied, “Hey, that’s a great question, Jeremy. We’ll have to ask God when we get to heaven.” “Okay,” he replied.

Then he said or we can wait until my mom comes home and ask her cause she knows everything. I said, that’s a great idea Jeremy! 

 He finished scraping the bottom of his dessert dish, took one last sip of water, and jumped down from his seat. He ran to play cars with his brother, his brain was sufficiently thawed and so was mine.

 Apparently, it seems the best answers are the simple ones. By the time his mom came home we forgot all about the brain freeze.

The History of Cup Cakes

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, History, Life, The History of Cup Cakes, Women by

If you’re a cup cake baker extraordinaire like I am? Then you will enjoy reading about the history of cup cakes. When my daughter was three years old we started going to a french bakery. The Baker would come over and say, “Bonjour” to her and she would say “Bonjour” back to him. It’s always so sweet when little girls say “Bonjour” isn’t it?  Then he would offer her a taste of one of his scrumptious desserts but she would shake her head as to say “no” and ask him for a cup cake please!  As time went by she had tasted every kind of cup cake the baker could think to make. If she liked it he would make it the cup cake of the week. As a result he came up with  many creative ways to decorate the cup cakes and his cup cake sales increased by fifty percent.

 I became inspired and learned how bake and decorate cup cakes like the ones he baked at the bakery. I can honestly say that If there’s a way to decorate a cup cake I have tried it. Sometimes they turned out perfect and other times they ended up in the trash but it didn’t matter because I always had one fan who didn’t care if the cup cakes turned out the way I wanted them to or not she would eat them.  If you are a cup cake extraordinaire or just enjoy eating cup cakes. 

 “The History of Cup Cakes“

A cupcake (also British English: Fairy Cake; Australian English: Patty cake or Cup Cake is a small cake designed to serve one person, often baked in a small, thin paper or aluminum cup. As with larger cakes, frosting and other cake decorations, such as sprinkles, are common on cupcakes.

Although their origin is unknown, recipes for cupcakes have been printed since at least the late 12th century. The first mention of the cupcake can be traced as far back as 1796, when a recipe notation of  “a cake baked in small cups” was written in American Cookery by Amelia Simms. The earliest documentation of the term cupcakes was in ” Seventy-five Receipts for Pastry , Cakes and Sweetmeats” in 1828 in Eliza Receipts cookbook.

In the early 19th century, there were two different uses for the name cup cake or cupcake. In previous centuries, before muffin tins were widely available, the cakes were often baked in individual pottery cups, ramekins, or mold and took their name from the cups they were baked in. This is the use of  the name that has persisted, and the name of  “cupcake” is now giving to any small cake that is about the size of a teacup.

 The name “Fairy Cake” is a fanciful description of its size, which would be appropriate for a party of diminutive fairies to share. While English fairy cakes vary in size more than American cupcakes, they are traditionally smaller and are rarely topped with elaborate icing.

The other kind of “cup cake” referred to a cake whose ingredients were measured by volume, using a standard-sized cup could also be baked in cups; however, they were  commonly baked in tins as layers or loaves. In later years, when the use of volume measurements was firmly established in home kitchens, these recipes became known as 1, 2, 3, 4 cakes or quarter cakes so-called because they are made of four ingredients: one cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of flour, and four eggs. They are plain yellow cakes, somewhat less rich and less expensive than pound cake, due to using about half as much butter and eggs compared to pound cakes. The names of these two major classes of cakes were intended to signal the method to the baker; “Cup Cake” uses a volume measurement, and “Pound Cake” uses a volume measurement , and “Pound Cake” uses a weight measurement.

In the early 21st century, a trend for cupcake shops was reported in the United States, playing off of the sense of nostalgia evoked by the cakes. In New York, cupcake shops like Magnolia Bakery gained publicity in their appearances on poplar television shows. In 2010 television presenter Martha Stewart published a cook book dedicated to cup cakes.

Cupcakes have become  more than a trend over the years; they’ve become an industry. Rachel Kramer Bussel, who has blogged about cupcakes since 2004 at Cupcakes Take the Cake, said that in the last two years or so cupcakes have become popular nationwide.

A “cake in a mug” is a variant that gained popularity on many internet cooking forums and mailing lists. The technique uses a mug as its cooking vessel and can be done in a microwave oven. The recipe often takes fewer than five minutes to prepare.

After I read the history of cup cakes  I wonder did I miss my calling? Should I have become a cup cake extraordinaire baker? No! I don’t think so. I was happy to just bake cup cakes for my family. However I am looking forward to eating cup cakes with my grandchildren in the future.

Moms and Dads Are Raising Great Kids!

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, relationships by

Do moms really read parenting books?  Of course they do they’ve probably read dozens especially when their first baby was born. Have those books been helpful? Yes. In some cases the information about childcare development and medical health issues is very practical and often comforting.

But frankly, reading book after book hasn’t reduced the amount of guilt, stress, and mania among mothers around us. In fact it may have increased it.

There have been just too many parenting books by too many authors who call themselves experts. The net result has been confusion, and mothers who still doubt themselves and worry that their children aren’t thriving.

When researching parenting books make sure that the author has children and is actively involved in their children’s day-to-day lives. It’s not too much to ask of authors of books on parenting to have hands on experience and education about parenting. That is the best. Isn’t it?  There are some solid parenting principles that have been around for decades but all to often forgotten. There are parenting books that simply remind us all the basics. What has always been natural, instinctive, and intuitive for real mothering. Unfortunately, these core principles have been obliterated by the frenzy and mania of commercialized parenting. But now it’s time to get back, get real, and restore the simple truth about mothering: That its foundation is the powerful and unconditional love and connection that ultimately lasts for always. 

  So trust yourself and those maternal instincts no one knows your child better that you. Don’t forget to relax, enjoy the moment, and remember to laugh. I know! You’re thinking that’s easer said than done. Yes, it is but it works!

Toddler or Seuss Landing?

Posted in Babies, Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms by

Sometimes living with a toddler can seem like you are living in Seuss Landing?  We all know how exhausting a toddler can be for both parents and grandparents. One of the best things you can do for your children is pinch hit when they need it and your schedule permits. Of course, you’ll also have to be in pretty good shape to hold your own with an active child. Don’t be discouraged if your grandchild balks initially at being separated from her parents. Sometimes this will happen even if you are a regular visitor.

 One of the most important lessons that your grandchild learns during this period is autonomy. She becomes aware of herself as a separate person who want to do things for herself. The toddler demonstrates her autonomy and her desire for more of it by mastering her own body, including walking, climbing, jumping and grabbing things and letting them go. She learns to control her bodily functions. 

 Toilet training is another of those areas that can drive parents nuts. Unfortunately, there always seem to be good reasons for parents to begin toilet training that have nothing to do with the child. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century, toilet training wa begun very early, not only because there were no washing machines or disposable diapers, but also because it was believed that regularity was important to good health. In 1914, The U. S. Children’s Bureau recommended that toilet training begin at three months or earlier!  Though hardly anyone would suggest starting this early today, more and more parents feel pressured because they are sending their kids to day-care facilities that only accept children who are already out of diapers.

Remember to maintain some perspective and a good sense of humor. Also remember that everyone seems to get the hang of toilet training by the time they move on to other challenges, such as getting a driver’s license, taking college entrance exams, or getting married!

The toddler’s search for autonomy is enshrined in the fold wisdom concept of the terrible twos. Unlike the infant who expresses her discomfort by crying, the toddle makes her feeling felt far more directly. Since the child is now  verbal, she can object with a resounding “NO” to your suggestions. Since she is mobile, she can walk or run away when you call her or tell her to do something. For example, you may be trying to get home by a certain hour and you want her to sit in her stroller so you can  get there as quickly as possible. She wants to walk and tells you so. You try to put her in her stroller and she tries to wiggle out as you try to buckle her in. It can just drive you crazy!

Although such behavior can try the patience of the most saintly mother or grandmother, it is important to appreciate such words and behavior for what they are: natural assertions of your childs or grandchild autonomy. And they do pass! Don’t worry they move up to preschooler status. One of the most important things we can do with our grandchildren during the preschool years is play. Play does not begin with the preschooler, of course; it starts earlier, and ideally it should be a lifelong activity. But there ar a few reasons for giving it special attention at this point in the child’s development. In earlier generations going to college was a significant achievement and getting into a good school was an important part of children’s high school experiences, today parents want to be sure that their children get into the right preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school.

 Toy and game manufacturers have been quick to capitalize on this enthusiasm by developing specifically educational toys and slapping the label “educational” on almost anything they produce in the hope it will attract more buyers. It is certainly not my intention to criticise products or activities that prepare children for school. I am an enthusiastic supporter of any program that promotes education by strengthening families and increasing the involvement of parents in their children’s lives.

However, it seems that parents and grandparents can get so involved in preparing children for formal school that they often forget just how valuable play is in this preparation.

 More than once I’ve been introduced to someone’s precocious child or grandchild who has already been taught to read or do math or who has memorized the state capitals. Whether we’re talking about formal games with specific rules to be learned and followed, competitive games with winners and losers, or just fooling around by dressing up and pretending, never underestimate the importance of play!

Grandma’s Common Sense

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Letters, Life by

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.  Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe~

Sometimes a grandmother’s common sense can teach their grandchildren that life’s simple pleasures can bring them the most happiness, and that they cannot buy it with money. Like going on walks and showing them the beauty in nature.

I preferred my grandmothers homemade toys, which she created with her own hands, over the expensive toys my parents bought me. From the age of five, I can remember her writing letters to me. She introduced me to world-famous classics and the library. By the time I was six I was able to read classics like Oliver Twist and Great Expectations because my dad had read them to me over and over. I’m not sure if I read them or if I memorised them.

My grandmother lived far away and would come to visit us and when she arrived I was glade to see her and sad when she had to leave. She felt the same. I missed her right away. But then, one week after she left, a letter would arrive.

Dear Granddaughter, I miss you a lot and remember absence makes hearts grow fonder? Write to me when you feel low or bored. So I started writing to her and I poured out all my problems into those letters. One of my favorite letters that I wrote to her was when I was in second grade and I explained to her that an older girl was being mean to me at school and called me a brat.

 I wrote to my grandma: Grandma, I’m being treated unkindly at school and I feel hurt. She wrote back: Dear Granddaughter, Just follow my instructions when the older mean girl says something that is hurtful to you. Tell her that you are hard of hearing and ask her to repeat what she said again and again. She will repeat it. Keep telling her that you can’t hear her, and she will get fed up and leave you alone. I followed grandma’s advice and it worked.

Then in my first year of high school we were having our annual health fitness week. I was good at sports but not at rope climbing and gymnastics. All my class mates were stronger in the upper parts of their bodies than me. I couldn’t complete rope climbing or any of the gymnastic part of the testing.

I wrote to Grandma: Grandma, I’m not good in sports, and Mom is making me sign up  for sport. She says sports and rope climbing are two different categories. She wrote back: Dear Granddaughter, I heard a song recently that had a wonderful message. There may be mountain peaks you have to climb on, there may be rivers fast and wide you may have to ride on. Unless you dream, unless you try, how will you know how far you can fly? Remember these words and believe in yourself. It turned out that because of my mom and grandmother I continued to pursue sports. I was good at sports. However I never did climb a rope.

Letters passed between us every week and she often sent quotes by great people from newspapers and magazines. All of them, in one way or another, told me the same thing:” Believe in yourself, then you can reach even the farthest star.” I kept all of Grandma’s letters in a file. When I felt low and sad, I would read them one by one. They lifted my spirits, and I came back to my self again. The lessons my grandma taught in her letters will forever remain the most valuable and treasured ones.

Grandma never owned a computer and she didn’t foresee in the future that her granddaughter would be passing on some of her advice on a website. I wonder how will our granddaughters be passing on their grandmother’s advice in the future? What is going to replace computers?

Mom Mania

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, relationships, Women by

There is one thing that all mothers can agree on no matter what their job title, income, number of children, education, religion, or location: They want to raise kids who are happy, confident , and self-reliant through childhood to adulthood.

Sometimes stress and quilt brought on by the need to be the “Sacifical Mom” can end up interfering with their ability to achieve this goal. There’s good news for the “Sacifical Mom” she can get back on track by learning and applying these twelve steps. They are proven to help create kids who will live a happily ever after lives as adults.

Look at your child and try to picture him or her in twenty-five years as a grow-up. What do you see? Does your son or daughter have these twelve essential qualities:

  1. Is he happy, optimistic, and secure?  Does he have authentic self-esteem?
  2. Is she in a healthy, loving relationships? Does she have good friends and loyal allies?
  3. Does he have a strong moral compass? Does he have good values and strong character?
  4. Does she have empathy and compassion for all people?  Is she kind, unselfish, and humane?
  5. Does he have self-control and patience? Can he delay gratification?
  6. Is she able to make good decisions on her own?
  7. Is he self-reliant?
  8. Is she responsible and internally motivated? Does she have a good work ethic?
  9. Is he practical and resourceful in handling day-to-day living?
  10. Is she resilient? If life throws her a curve, can she bounce back?
  11. Is he confident and positive about his identity and strengths?
  12. Does she have fun? does she laugh? Is her life balanced between work and love, self and others? 

Don’t forget to take into consideration that kids are born with a certain temperament and genetic predisposition. Certainly there are some things about children’s development that are not under their parents control but many are. Mothers can say good-by to their need to be on  the “Sacrificial Motherhood Mania” bandwagon and be the real mothers they know they are, and raise kids who will not only survive but thrive without her. Remember you can’t teach what you don’t know!

Chose Your Own Grandparenting Style

Posted in Books, Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Women by

 The Power of Myths reminds me of the classic children’s story “Little Red Riding Hood” it has almost all the main features of one stereotyped image of a grandparent.

Once upon a time, at the edge of a large forest there stood a tiny cottage almost hidden by the trees. In it a little girl lived with her mother. The little girl could often be seen in her hood and red  cape flitting among the tall trees. Her grandmother had made the hood and cape for her and because the little girl always wore them, she was called Little Red Ridding Hood.

Red Riding Hood’s grandmother is old and feeble, caring and gift-giving, and lives within convenient walking distance (wolves not with standing) of her granddaughter. There are probably some grandparents who fit this image. There are probably even more who wish they matched some parts of it. But in today’s world, many grandparents are neither old nor feeble.

They don’t eat chocolate cake or drink creamy milk especially when they’re sick. Their lives are not focused on their grandchildren but on their jobs, friends and social activities. Oh! We can’t forget that some of us can end up spending all day trying to figure out how to use our latest techie devices.

 Often they don’t live on the other side of the woods but on the other side of the country, on another continent, or at least somewhere where the winters are milder and the weather is sunnier. However grandparents are enjoying their beach cottages and mountain cabins. Aren’t they?

 One morning Little Red Riding Hood’s mother packed a basket full of homemade  goodies that included a chocolate cake, a jar of strawberry jam and a bottle of creamy milk. She told Little Red Ridding Hood to take this basket to your grandmother because she was sick in bed and this food will do her good and it will make her happy. I would’ve preferred a cup of tea and a piece of toast myself. 

My friends and I didn’t realize how powerful myths could be until we became a grandparents. We have discovered that when it comes to the topic of family life how surprised we were to see how many people are still clinging to idealized images from the past.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with having romantic and nostalgic ideas but if we walk around feeling that our lives are only second best because things were once better it can sap all our strength. And if we invest our energy trying to live the way we imagine people used to live we’re bound to be disappointed.

Grandparents are living longer that in the first half of the century, the grandparenting phase might last two or three decades or more.

 In short, grandparenting has developed as an independent role in the family cycle and often extends as long or longer than parenting.

Here are a few questions grandparents can ask themselves when choosing their grandparenting style.

What kinds of things to you enjoy doing? What special skills do you have?  How much time do you have available and how much do I want to spend grandparenting? What are your children’s and grandchildren’s needs? What religious and ethnic traditions do you want to pass on to your grandchildren? 

Keep in mind there is still no set definitions of what makes you a good grandparent any more that whats makes a good grandchild. The consensus about what makes us good grandparents makes it easier for each of us to reinvent grandparenting in own style and enjoy our roles.

A Slice Of Life

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, Grandparenting, Life, Moms, Women by

Having fun with our kids is like a slice of pie. Think about a pie not as a fruit pie, but as a pie of life with slices that define different, slices of family life. One slice is childhood, the next slice is the parenting years, followed by the early adult slice and the largest slice is the empty nest years.

 If we live out our average life expectancy, we will spend twice as many years as adults together with our children, than when they were living at home with us. When a group of my friends got together we talked about our relationships with our parents. Some of us got along well with them, others did not. When we probed the reasons, it had a lot to do with parenting patterns developed during childhood.

 In other words, how we parent our young kids might shape our relationship with them when they grow up. We figured out that the ones who wanted to be friends as adults and spend time together, not out of obligation but, because they enjoyed each other and had moms who included fun as one of their family values. They seemed to be the moms who adult children wanted to spend time with for all the right reasons.

You might be asking yourself what does fun look like?  Just look around you and watch other fun families. You’ll notice they can have fun and be fun even in unlikely places. Like the grocery store or waiting in line at the DMV. Fun is an attitude as much as an activity. And to have fun, we have to be fun, which means lightening up.

Throughout the years, the activities changed. We went from having fun with preschoolers which was fairly simple. They loved to play and loved the attention they got when we did almost anything together. When our kids got older, their fun included their friends, which meant stretching the family circle to make those friends feel welcome in our homes. We agreed that parenting includes the responsibility to shape appropriate fun as kids grow up, which was easier when their friends gathered at our houses.

 The best advice offered was to learn to let go of our own expectations and stop trying to  Besides, our best and most humorous family memories often came out of those unexpected out comes. Friendships with our adult children evolve as slowly as our parenting bumped and bounced from controlling to influencing to simply encouraging and enjoying.

The fun we have along the way is not so much about doing things, as about being in relationships that allowed for growth and embraced our differences. It’s been said, that being friends and having fun with our adult children is the best slice of the pie of life!

 

Nana’s Hands

Posted in family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Quotes, Spiritual by

If we can be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love’s reach. Our Nana was a generous woman with a big heart not just to her family but to all kinds of people, even people she didn’t know.

 She did nice things without expecting anything back. Nana was especially good at baking and she made the best chocolate chipcookies in the world.

One of the best things about Nana was that she loved people and they loved her back. Friends and family knew they could stop by and see her anytime and Nana would always welcome them. Everyone in her family depended on Nana to keep them up with the latest birth or who got married in the neighborhood (in the old neighborhood) as my dad use to say. They grew up in Massachusetts and Rhode Island. 

Now Nana’s not here to tell us what’s going on, or to bake those favorite things she was so good at making. Nana passed away a few years and my cousin found this poem and we realized that it describes how we felt about our Nana. It’s called “Nana’s Hands.”

Nana’s Hands used to touch us with. Nana’s hands would scold us and sit us down in a chair. Nana’s hands would applaud us when we did something good. Nana’s hands would hold us every chance they could. Nana’s hands would aid us when we fell down. Nana”s hands, Yes I miss them, they were the best hands around. Nana’s hands would spank us and she would say, “Now, Baby, you act right.” Nana’s hands would stroke us and tuck us in at night. Nana’s hands would pray for us, they would pray for everyone she knew. Nana’s hands would rise in the air as in God she put her trust. Nana’s hands were special; they were the very best. Nana’s hands got tired, and now they are at rest.

We thought a lot about the last line of that poem it taught us that it can be hard to lose people we love but it can sometimes be for the better too. When Nana got sick we felt bad for her when we realized she couldn’t do things she loved anymore and she was in pain. At least we knew that she didn’t hurt anymore.

 We also realized that we never thought about how things would change once Nana was gone. Losing someone you love can definitely help us appreciate the people who are special to us while we still have them in our lives.

Moms Night Out

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms by

Throughout history moms have been applauded for their ability to do many different roles.

Some moms are cab drivers. “I’ll pick you up after school.” No computer for one hour for hitting your brother. Still others fashion consultants: Don’t forget your coat its cold outside or great at compromises; tonight’s special is pizza or pizza. Which can I interest you in?

Moms seem to have three pairs of eyes. One pair that see through closed doors another in the back of her head and,of course, the ones in front that can look at their child when they goof up and say I understand and I love you without so much as uttering a word.

Moms deliver their lines with laughter, smiles or a straight face and they always have a twinkle in their eyes because they know they’re responsible for the well-being of their children. Whether they are burping a three-month baby, wrestling with a two-year old girl who wants to put glue in her hair, or comforting a six-year-old boy who didn’t make the team. Moms always know what to say. Don’t they? 

With their knowledge and insight into the hearts of their babies whether two-months or twenty-six moms may not have all the answers. But they know the best answer is usually just a smile and a hug. Because that’s what moms do best. Forget the applause! Moms can take home all the trophies and awards . But the biggest reward is always love of their children.

Motherhood is like Albania you can’t trust the brochures you have to go there. Oh! What a power motherhood is possessing a potent spell. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

When you have your own children they’re a part of you and part not-you and then they get away from you and part of you goes with them. But you have to try to remember that part of you that’s you and not them. That way, you can let them go. It’s been said that a mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary. 

Moms dilemma is to clean the house or girls night out? I say choose the girls night out. The trouble with cleaning the house is that it gets dirty the next day anyway. So skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important thing and moms night out is important for moms too. 

Moms should never miss a girls night out is because their children will grow up and leave and their girlfriends don’t. Dads and grandparents love moms night out with the girls because they get to spend time with the kids.