Category Archives: family

Toddler or Seuss Landing?

Posted in Babies, Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms by

Sometimes living with a toddler can seem like you are living in Seuss Landing?  We all know how exhausting a toddler can be for both parents and grandparents. One of the best things you can do for your children is pinch hit when they need it and your schedule permits. Of course, you’ll also have to be in pretty good shape to hold your own with an active child. Don’t be discouraged if your grandchild balks initially at being separated from her parents. Sometimes this will happen even if you are a regular visitor.

 One of the most important lessons that your grandchild learns during this period is autonomy. She becomes aware of herself as a separate person who want to do things for herself. The toddler demonstrates her autonomy and her desire for more of it by mastering her own body, including walking, climbing, jumping and grabbing things and letting them go. She learns to control her bodily functions. 

 Toilet training is another of those areas that can drive parents nuts. Unfortunately, there always seem to be good reasons for parents to begin toilet training that have nothing to do with the child. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century, toilet training wa begun very early, not only because there were no washing machines or disposable diapers, but also because it was believed that regularity was important to good health. In 1914, The U. S. Children’s Bureau recommended that toilet training begin at three months or earlier!  Though hardly anyone would suggest starting this early today, more and more parents feel pressured because they are sending their kids to day-care facilities that only accept children who are already out of diapers.

Remember to maintain some perspective and a good sense of humor. Also remember that everyone seems to get the hang of toilet training by the time they move on to other challenges, such as getting a driver’s license, taking college entrance exams, or getting married!

The toddler’s search for autonomy is enshrined in the fold wisdom concept of the terrible twos. Unlike the infant who expresses her discomfort by crying, the toddle makes her feeling felt far more directly. Since the child is now  verbal, she can object with a resounding “NO” to your suggestions. Since she is mobile, she can walk or run away when you call her or tell her to do something. For example, you may be trying to get home by a certain hour and you want her to sit in her stroller so you can  get there as quickly as possible. She wants to walk and tells you so. You try to put her in her stroller and she tries to wiggle out as you try to buckle her in. It can just drive you crazy!

Although such behavior can try the patience of the most saintly mother or grandmother, it is important to appreciate such words and behavior for what they are: natural assertions of your childs or grandchild autonomy. And they do pass! Don’t worry they move up to preschooler status. One of the most important things we can do with our grandchildren during the preschool years is play. Play does not begin with the preschooler, of course; it starts earlier, and ideally it should be a lifelong activity. But there ar a few reasons for giving it special attention at this point in the child’s development. In earlier generations going to college was a significant achievement and getting into a good school was an important part of children’s high school experiences, today parents want to be sure that their children get into the right preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school.

 Toy and game manufacturers have been quick to capitalize on this enthusiasm by developing specifically educational toys and slapping the label “educational” on almost anything they produce in the hope it will attract more buyers. It is certainly not my intention to criticise products or activities that prepare children for school. I am an enthusiastic supporter of any program that promotes education by strengthening families and increasing the involvement of parents in their children’s lives.

However, it seems that parents and grandparents can get so involved in preparing children for formal school that they often forget just how valuable play is in this preparation.

 More than once I’ve been introduced to someone’s precocious child or grandchild who has already been taught to read or do math or who has memorized the state capitals. Whether we’re talking about formal games with specific rules to be learned and followed, competitive games with winners and losers, or just fooling around by dressing up and pretending, never underestimate the importance of play!

A Season Of Life

Posted in family, generational changes, Life, Love, relationships, Spiritual, Women by

Positive minds produce positive lives. Negative minds produce negative lives. Positive thoughts are always full of faith and hope. Negative thoughts are always full of fear and doubt.

Some people are afraid to hope because they have been hurt so much in life. They have had so many disappointments, they don’t think they can face the pain of another one. Therefore, they refuse to hope so they would not be disappointed.

This avoidance of hope is a type of protection against being hurt. Disappointment hurts! So rather than be hurt again, many people simply refuse to hope or to believe that anything good will ever happen to them. This type of behavior set up a negative lifestyle. Remember “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Do you know someone who is extremely negative?  They might say to you, that if they have two positive thoughts in a row that their mind would get a cramp? Their whole philosophy is this: “If you don’t expect anything good to happen, then you won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t.” After spending time getting to know them, you learn that they have encountered many disappointments in life, leaving them afraid to believe that anything good might happen to them again. It becomes obvious to you that since their thoughts are all negative, so are the words they speak; therefore, so is their life. You try to  stay positive and wish you could get into their head and replace their negative thoughts with positive ones. Wouldn’t that be helpful?   I have friends who are negative, and I find it interesting that words they speak came to pass in their lives.

 I  also have friends who are positive, and are always finding the good in the many situations they are in life. It doesn’t mean that people who are positive thinkers don’t have doubt and feel sad, but it  does means they don’t stay stuck in their negative thoughts. It means that remain hopeful.

 Sometimes a season of life might be so devastating that the only positive thought we can have for a while is I’m breathing. I was in a season of life with a friend a few years ago. All we could say to each other was, “Your breathing aren’t you?”  Then that makes this a good day doesn’t it?  Now when I want to complain about my current season of life, I remind myself that I’m not only breathing but, I’m happy again. Life is good. Isn’t it?

Wouldn’t life be perfect if we never had to endure the devastating seasons of it?  

A few years ago I went through a devastating season of life. It was when people I loved passed away unexpectedly, and all I could do was breath because I was numb. 

 Now, I’m in a season of a life, and looking forward to the birth of my granddaughter. I have learned that life really does work in seasons, and some can be cold like winter, while others can be sunny and warm like summer.

Grandma’s Common Sense

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Letters, Life by

Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.  Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe~

Sometimes a grandmother’s common sense can teach their grandchildren that life’s simple pleasures can bring them the most happiness, and that they cannot buy it with money. Like going on walks and showing them the beauty in nature.

I preferred my grandmothers homemade toys, which she created with her own hands, over the expensive toys my parents bought me. From the age of five, I can remember her writing letters to me. She introduced me to world-famous classics and the library. By the time I was six I was able to read classics like Oliver Twist and Great Expectations because my dad had read them to me over and over. I’m not sure if I read them or if I memorised them.

My grandmother lived far away and would come to visit us and when she arrived I was glade to see her and sad when she had to leave. She felt the same. I missed her right away. But then, one week after she left, a letter would arrive.

Dear Granddaughter, I miss you a lot and remember absence makes hearts grow fonder? Write to me when you feel low or bored. So I started writing to her and I poured out all my problems into those letters. One of my favorite letters that I wrote to her was when I was in second grade and I explained to her that an older girl was being mean to me at school and called me a brat.

 I wrote to my grandma: Grandma, I’m being treated unkindly at school and I feel hurt. She wrote back: Dear Granddaughter, Just follow my instructions when the older mean girl says something that is hurtful to you. Tell her that you are hard of hearing and ask her to repeat what she said again and again. She will repeat it. Keep telling her that you can’t hear her, and she will get fed up and leave you alone. I followed grandma’s advice and it worked.

Then in my first year of high school we were having our annual health fitness week. I was good at sports but not at rope climbing and gymnastics. All my class mates were stronger in the upper parts of their bodies than me. I couldn’t complete rope climbing or any of the gymnastic part of the testing.

I wrote to Grandma: Grandma, I’m not good in sports, and Mom is making me sign up  for sport. She says sports and rope climbing are two different categories. She wrote back: Dear Granddaughter, I heard a song recently that had a wonderful message. There may be mountain peaks you have to climb on, there may be rivers fast and wide you may have to ride on. Unless you dream, unless you try, how will you know how far you can fly? Remember these words and believe in yourself. It turned out that because of my mom and grandmother I continued to pursue sports. I was good at sports. However I never did climb a rope.

Letters passed between us every week and she often sent quotes by great people from newspapers and magazines. All of them, in one way or another, told me the same thing:” Believe in yourself, then you can reach even the farthest star.” I kept all of Grandma’s letters in a file. When I felt low and sad, I would read them one by one. They lifted my spirits, and I came back to my self again. The lessons my grandma taught in her letters will forever remain the most valuable and treasured ones.

Grandma never owned a computer and she didn’t foresee in the future that her granddaughter would be passing on some of her advice on a website. I wonder how will our granddaughters be passing on their grandmother’s advice in the future? What is going to replace computers?

It’s The Little Things That Count

Posted in Brides, family, Family Values, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual, Women by

It’s the little things you do each day that will keep your love strong. Grand gestures are fun. They can make the heart soar. But if they only happen once or twice a year, What’s the fun in that? Little gestures are not as splashy. They may even go unnoticed. But if it weren’t for the raindrops, the oceans would soon be empty. So let your drops of love rain down. When people lose a partner whom they’ve loved dearly, it’s not the grand gestures that they miss, it’s  the little things. It’s the nightly cup of tea. It’s checking that the front door is locked. It’s flowers in the vase. It’s drying the dishes. It’s holding hands.

The little things are like the nails that hold a house together. You don’t see them, but they’re doing their work. And like nails, the little things don’t insert themselves without some help. Each one may not take a lot of energy, but if put enough energy into the little things, over time you’ll build a great big love. You’ve been taught to say “Thank You” for presents, but do you acknowledge the little presents your spouse gives you every day? You can never say “Thank You” too many times, though most people don’t say it enough. Do they?

Every Day Is Memorable

Posted in family, Family Values, Keepsakes, Life, Love, relationships, Women by

Make every day you’re in love memorable. When you’re in love every day should be considered memorable: every good morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle.

As the years of your couplehood fly by, you accumulate a full house of furniture, an attic full of old clothes, a garage full of treasured junk, and one mind. Shared by two people, full of golden memories. You’re not conscious of making memories. A walk down the aisle, a period of tropical bliss, a toddler’s first steps, and a family vacation may stand out, but the majority of your precious minutes together on earth are not so easily held on to. Can you possibly remember every shared moment? Of course not.

But while so many thousands of events can’t possibly stick out in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like they will. Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together, by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you as they’re occurring.

 Don’t kiss perfunctorily put some love in it. Put more energy in your hugs and hold on to the ones you love a little longer. Look your partner in the eyes, and mean it when you say “I love you,” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot richer. Regardless if you are in love or not remember to treat the people in your life, with kindness, respect, and love.

Some Times Love Hurts…

Posted in family, Life, Love, relationships, Women by

It’s been said that love should never be associated with the word “hurt”, but it often is. It can hurt so much that it can break someone’s heart.

Heartbreak is not always avoidable but it may be repairable. 

 Sometimes fate deals us a lousy hand. The person we love is forced to move away, someone steals your love’s heart from you, or their death cuts your heart into a million pieces. Avoidable heart breaks are the most tragic. You’re already together, but something is trying to pull you apart. It starts with a wound real or perceived. An apology would cause the wound to heal, but pride or stubbornness or stupidity keeps the apology locked inside.

One wound might not be serious, but when added to a series of others, the consequences can be fatal. So the two of you become haters and the love is shattered. While the leftover cracks might not make gluing together the many pieces of a shattered mirror worthwhile, love is. Other wise people may spend the rest of their lives stepping on those shard of their love all around their life. Each shard is labeled with a “What if?” and each is capable of causing endless pain. They can be dulled by the years, swept away by a new love, or used for endless episodes of self-pity. One solution is to look into the future and realize that love needs to be put above all else. Petty emotions have to be put aside to protect the bond of love.

When someone suffers a heart attack, it’s obvious that every second counts and that the patient needs immediate attention. It’s not as obvious to many people who the same is true for a broken heart. Too often people wait until it’s too late to get help to repair their relationships. Remember every second counts when repairing a wound and the loss of love might be the price.

Mom Mania

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, relationships, Women by

There is one thing that all mothers can agree on no matter what their job title, income, number of children, education, religion, or location: They want to raise kids who are happy, confident , and self-reliant through childhood to adulthood.

Sometimes stress and quilt brought on by the need to be the “Sacifical Mom” can end up interfering with their ability to achieve this goal. There’s good news for the “Sacifical Mom” she can get back on track by learning and applying these twelve steps. They are proven to help create kids who will live a happily ever after lives as adults.

Look at your child and try to picture him or her in twenty-five years as a grow-up. What do you see? Does your son or daughter have these twelve essential qualities:

  1. Is he happy, optimistic, and secure?  Does he have authentic self-esteem?
  2. Is she in a healthy, loving relationships? Does she have good friends and loyal allies?
  3. Does he have a strong moral compass? Does he have good values and strong character?
  4. Does she have empathy and compassion for all people?  Is she kind, unselfish, and humane?
  5. Does he have self-control and patience? Can he delay gratification?
  6. Is she able to make good decisions on her own?
  7. Is he self-reliant?
  8. Is she responsible and internally motivated? Does she have a good work ethic?
  9. Is he practical and resourceful in handling day-to-day living?
  10. Is she resilient? If life throws her a curve, can she bounce back?
  11. Is he confident and positive about his identity and strengths?
  12. Does she have fun? does she laugh? Is her life balanced between work and love, self and others? 

Don’t forget to take into consideration that kids are born with a certain temperament and genetic predisposition. Certainly there are some things about children’s development that are not under their parents control but many are. Mothers can say good-by to their need to be on  the “Sacrificial Motherhood Mania” bandwagon and be the real mothers they know they are, and raise kids who will not only survive but thrive without her. Remember you can’t teach what you don’t know!

People Are Like Turtles

Posted in family, Family Values, Life, relationships, Women by

Nothing can happen to a turtle when it’s inside its protective shell but a turtle can not stay put forever eventually it must stick out its neck to search for food and a mate.

 We all have a bit of the turtle in us wanting to stay safe and warm inside our shell. But if we’re going to get anywhere we must be like the turtle and dare to stick out our necks. Humans may not have physical shells to hide in but we can put up psychological barriers that are just as impervious.  At times it may seem easier to hide from life at least for a moment.

Just as a mature turtle’s shell doesn’t change a person’s psychological shell also hardens over time. As years go by it can become more and more difficult to let the real person shine through. At first they may only want their shell to shield them form the outside world but over time the ones who love them can start to feel excluded.

And if they stay in their shell their mate might leave them behind. When people are in turtle mode they need to remember to make others feel free to snuggle up in their shell occasionally but also make it a point of getting outside with them everyday. So be like a turtle and stick your neck out now and then.

Chose Your Own Grandparenting Style

Posted in Books, Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Women by

 The Power of Myths reminds me of the classic children’s story “Little Red Riding Hood” it has almost all the main features of one stereotyped image of a grandparent.

Once upon a time, at the edge of a large forest there stood a tiny cottage almost hidden by the trees. In it a little girl lived with her mother. The little girl could often be seen in her hood and red  cape flitting among the tall trees. Her grandmother had made the hood and cape for her and because the little girl always wore them, she was called Little Red Ridding Hood.

Red Riding Hood’s grandmother is old and feeble, caring and gift-giving, and lives within convenient walking distance (wolves not with standing) of her granddaughter. There are probably some grandparents who fit this image. There are probably even more who wish they matched some parts of it. But in today’s world, many grandparents are neither old nor feeble.

They don’t eat chocolate cake or drink creamy milk especially when they’re sick. Their lives are not focused on their grandchildren but on their jobs, friends and social activities. Oh! We can’t forget that some of us can end up spending all day trying to figure out how to use our latest techie devices.

 Often they don’t live on the other side of the woods but on the other side of the country, on another continent, or at least somewhere where the winters are milder and the weather is sunnier. However grandparents are enjoying their beach cottages and mountain cabins. Aren’t they?

 One morning Little Red Riding Hood’s mother packed a basket full of homemade  goodies that included a chocolate cake, a jar of strawberry jam and a bottle of creamy milk. She told Little Red Ridding Hood to take this basket to your grandmother because she was sick in bed and this food will do her good and it will make her happy. I would’ve preferred a cup of tea and a piece of toast myself. 

My friends and I didn’t realize how powerful myths could be until we became a grandparents. We have discovered that when it comes to the topic of family life how surprised we were to see how many people are still clinging to idealized images from the past.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with having romantic and nostalgic ideas but if we walk around feeling that our lives are only second best because things were once better it can sap all our strength. And if we invest our energy trying to live the way we imagine people used to live we’re bound to be disappointed.

Grandparents are living longer that in the first half of the century, the grandparenting phase might last two or three decades or more.

 In short, grandparenting has developed as an independent role in the family cycle and often extends as long or longer than parenting.

Here are a few questions grandparents can ask themselves when choosing their grandparenting style.

What kinds of things to you enjoy doing? What special skills do you have?  How much time do you have available and how much do I want to spend grandparenting? What are your children’s and grandchildren’s needs? What religious and ethnic traditions do you want to pass on to your grandchildren? 

Keep in mind there is still no set definitions of what makes you a good grandparent any more that whats makes a good grandchild. The consensus about what makes us good grandparents makes it easier for each of us to reinvent grandparenting in own style and enjoy our roles.

A Slice Of Life

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, Grandparenting, Life, Moms, Women by

Having fun with our kids is like a slice of pie. Think about a pie not as a fruit pie, but as a pie of life with slices that define different, slices of family life. One slice is childhood, the next slice is the parenting years, followed by the early adult slice and the largest slice is the empty nest years.

 If we live out our average life expectancy, we will spend twice as many years as adults together with our children, than when they were living at home with us. When a group of my friends got together we talked about our relationships with our parents. Some of us got along well with them, others did not. When we probed the reasons, it had a lot to do with parenting patterns developed during childhood.

 In other words, how we parent our young kids might shape our relationship with them when they grow up. We figured out that the ones who wanted to be friends as adults and spend time together, not out of obligation but, because they enjoyed each other and had moms who included fun as one of their family values. They seemed to be the moms who adult children wanted to spend time with for all the right reasons.

You might be asking yourself what does fun look like?  Just look around you and watch other fun families. You’ll notice they can have fun and be fun even in unlikely places. Like the grocery store or waiting in line at the DMV. Fun is an attitude as much as an activity. And to have fun, we have to be fun, which means lightening up.

Throughout the years, the activities changed. We went from having fun with preschoolers which was fairly simple. They loved to play and loved the attention they got when we did almost anything together. When our kids got older, their fun included their friends, which meant stretching the family circle to make those friends feel welcome in our homes. We agreed that parenting includes the responsibility to shape appropriate fun as kids grow up, which was easier when their friends gathered at our houses.

 The best advice offered was to learn to let go of our own expectations and stop trying to  Besides, our best and most humorous family memories often came out of those unexpected out comes. Friendships with our adult children evolve as slowly as our parenting bumped and bounced from controlling to influencing to simply encouraging and enjoying.

The fun we have along the way is not so much about doing things, as about being in relationships that allowed for growth and embraced our differences. It’s been said, that being friends and having fun with our adult children is the best slice of the pie of life!

 

Nana’s Hands

Posted in family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Quotes, Spiritual by

If we can be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love’s reach. Our Nana was a generous woman with a big heart not just to her family but to all kinds of people, even people she didn’t know.

 She did nice things without expecting anything back. Nana was especially good at baking and she made the best chocolate chipcookies in the world.

One of the best things about Nana was that she loved people and they loved her back. Friends and family knew they could stop by and see her anytime and Nana would always welcome them. Everyone in her family depended on Nana to keep them up with the latest birth or who got married in the neighborhood (in the old neighborhood) as my dad use to say. They grew up in Massachusetts and Rhode Island. 

Now Nana’s not here to tell us what’s going on, or to bake those favorite things she was so good at making. Nana passed away a few years and my cousin found this poem and we realized that it describes how we felt about our Nana. It’s called “Nana’s Hands.”

Nana’s Hands used to touch us with. Nana’s hands would scold us and sit us down in a chair. Nana’s hands would applaud us when we did something good. Nana’s hands would hold us every chance they could. Nana’s hands would aid us when we fell down. Nana”s hands, Yes I miss them, they were the best hands around. Nana’s hands would spank us and she would say, “Now, Baby, you act right.” Nana’s hands would stroke us and tuck us in at night. Nana’s hands would pray for us, they would pray for everyone she knew. Nana’s hands would rise in the air as in God she put her trust. Nana’s hands were special; they were the very best. Nana’s hands got tired, and now they are at rest.

We thought a lot about the last line of that poem it taught us that it can be hard to lose people we love but it can sometimes be for the better too. When Nana got sick we felt bad for her when we realized she couldn’t do things she loved anymore and she was in pain. At least we knew that she didn’t hurt anymore.

 We also realized that we never thought about how things would change once Nana was gone. Losing someone you love can definitely help us appreciate the people who are special to us while we still have them in our lives.

Rosie The Riveter

Posted in family, Family Values, generational changes, History, The Work Force, Women by

Rosie the Riveter is a cultural icon of the United States, representing the American women who worked in factories during World War Two, many of whom produced munitions and war supplies.

 These women sometimes took entirely new jobs replacing the male workers who were in the military. Rosie the Riveter is commonly used as symbol of feminism and women’s economic power.

The term “Rosie the Riveter” was first used in 1942 in a song of the same name written by Redd Evans and John Loeb. The song was recorded by many artists, including the popular big band leader Kay Kyser, and became a national hit.

 The song portrays ” Rosie” as a tireless assembly line worker, doing her part to help American war effort. The words of the song are: All the day long. Whether rain or shine, She’s part of the assembly line. She’s making history. Working for victory, Rosie the Riveter.

Although women took on male dominated trades during World War two, they were expected to return to their everyday housework once men returned from the war. Government campaigns targeting women were addressed solely at housewives, perhaps because already employed women would move up to the higher-paid essential jobs on their own, perhaps because it was assumed that most would be housewives. One government advertisement asked women “Can you use an electric mixer? If so, you can learn to use a drill.

 Propaganda was also directed at their husbands, many of whom were unwilling to support such jobs. Later, many women returned to traditional work such as clerical or administration positions, despite their reluctance to re-enter the lower paying fields. However, some of these women continued working in the factories.

Rosie the Riveter became most closely associated with another real women, Rosie Will Monroe. She worked as a riveter at the Willow Run Aircaft Factory in Michigan, building B-29 and B-24 bombers for the U. S. Army Air Forces.

Monroe achieved her dream of piloting a plane when she was in her 50s and her love of flying resulted in an accident that contributed to her death 19 years later. Monroe was asked to star in a promotional film about the war effort at home. The song Rosie the Riveter” was popular at the time and Monroe happened to match the woman depicted in the song.

Rosie went on to become perhaps the most widely recognized icon of the era. The films and posters she appeared in were used to encourage women to go to work in support of the war effort.

According to the Encyclopedia of American Economic History, “Rosie the Riveter” inspired a social movement that increased the number of working American women to 20 million by 1944, a 57% increase from 1940. By 1944 only 1.7 million unmarried men between the ages of 20 and 34 worked in the defense industry,while 4.1 million unmarried between those ages did so. What unified the experiences of these women was that they proved to themselves and the country that they could a “man’s job” and could do it well. The average man working in a wartime plant was paid $54.65 per week, while women were paid about $31.50 per week.

Some claim that she forever opened the work force for women, while others dispute that point, noting that many women were discharged after the war and their jobs were given to returning servicemen.

These critics claim that when peace returned few women returned to their wartime positions and instead resumed domestic vocations or transferred into sex-type occupations such as clerical and service work.

Some historians emphasize that the changes were temporary and that immediately after the war was over women were expected to return to traditional roles of wives and mothers. Finally for the first time the working woman dominated the public image and women were riveting housewives in slacks, not mother domestic beings, or civilizers.”

On October 14,200, the Rosie the Riveter/ World War Two Home Front National historical Park was opened. In Richmond, California, site of the four Kaiser shipyards, where thousands of “Rosie’s” from around the country worked. Although ships at the Kaiser shipyards were not riveted, but rather welded. Over 200 former Rosie’s attended the ceremony.

 Most recently Christina Aguilera, emulates the famous Andrews Sisters vocal harmonies of the WW-Two Era. While wearing a red bandanna and shot with the era’s vintage Technicolor processing scheme, Christina gives the famous “Rosie” pose, with fist-up, and right hand on biceps. What is it about “Rosie the Riveter” that we just can’t seem to get enough of?

Moms Night Out

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms by

Throughout history moms have been applauded for their ability to do many different roles.

Some moms are cab drivers. “I’ll pick you up after school.” No computer for one hour for hitting your brother. Still others fashion consultants: Don’t forget your coat its cold outside or great at compromises; tonight’s special is pizza or pizza. Which can I interest you in?

Moms seem to have three pairs of eyes. One pair that see through closed doors another in the back of her head and,of course, the ones in front that can look at their child when they goof up and say I understand and I love you without so much as uttering a word.

Moms deliver their lines with laughter, smiles or a straight face and they always have a twinkle in their eyes because they know they’re responsible for the well-being of their children. Whether they are burping a three-month baby, wrestling with a two-year old girl who wants to put glue in her hair, or comforting a six-year-old boy who didn’t make the team. Moms always know what to say. Don’t they? 

With their knowledge and insight into the hearts of their babies whether two-months or twenty-six moms may not have all the answers. But they know the best answer is usually just a smile and a hug. Because that’s what moms do best. Forget the applause! Moms can take home all the trophies and awards . But the biggest reward is always love of their children.

Motherhood is like Albania you can’t trust the brochures you have to go there. Oh! What a power motherhood is possessing a potent spell. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

When you have your own children they’re a part of you and part not-you and then they get away from you and part of you goes with them. But you have to try to remember that part of you that’s you and not them. That way, you can let them go. It’s been said that a mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary. 

Moms dilemma is to clean the house or girls night out? I say choose the girls night out. The trouble with cleaning the house is that it gets dirty the next day anyway. So skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important thing and moms night out is important for moms too. 

Moms should never miss a girls night out is because their children will grow up and leave and their girlfriends don’t. Dads and grandparents love moms night out with the girls because they get to spend time with the kids.  

Create A Family Value’s List

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life by

 What are your top five family values?  What traits do you hope your child or grandchildren will have as an adult? 

 Using the following five strategies in the acronym “TEACH”  can help you decide which traits really mean the most to you.

T- Target the value you want to apply right this minute in your home. Focus on only one at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed and spin you wheels trying to do to much. Many moms and grandmothers target a different key value each month. Write down your choices so you don’t forget.

E- Exemplify this value in your own everyday behavior. The easiest way for children and grandchildren to learn any new value is by actually seeing it in action. So intentionally start looking for ways to tune up your chosen value anytime you’re with your children or grandchildren.

A- Accentuate the targeted value in simple ways. For example, if respect is your targeted value seize the opportunity to make a point about treating all people with dignity by showing respect to the people in your life. 

C-Catch your children displaying the value and praise them for it. ” Hey, I know it was hard to admit you broke your brother’s hockey stick. I appreciate your honesty.

H- Highlight the value of the value. ” I loved how you smiled at Grandma today. That was being really kind. Did you see how her face lit up? Whenever you’re kind, it helps make the world a better place.” Whenever you highlight a value be sure you name the value and tell your child exactly how they made a different.

Here is an example of a few values : assertiveness, caring, charitableness, courage, excellence, fairness, friendliness, dependability, determination, generosity, helpfulness, honesty,industriousness, kindness, joyousness, politeness, tolerance, understanding, unselfishness, wisdom, purposefulness and a hundred more words that describe family values. This is something that grandparents can do to.

Don’t Forget To Relax With Your Kids

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Time, traditions by

Suppose your children were asked what one thing they really wish they could change about their family. That very question was asked of eighty-four thousand students in grades six through twelve who recently completed a USA Weekend survey.

 It turns out that almost two-thirds of kids surveyed said that what the kids said was they wanted was not just more time but relaxed time. The kind of time a kid would consider as just plain “fun.” No expectations, no stress and no frantic pace. It’s the kind of time that creates family togetherness that relaxed, carefree time is also what kids crave and need.

Here are a few simple ways to create relaxed family time.

  • Nighttime rituals: read a nighttime story; remind each other of the best part of the day; give hugs and kisses goodnight.
  •  Special greetings and ways to say “I love You”: rub noses for an “Eskimo kiss“; create your own family funny hugs.
  •  Celebration of successes: hang a flag on the front door when something special has happened to a family member:use a “fancy” plate at the dinner table when a family member has done something to deserve recognition.
  •  Birthday memories: each family member chooses his or her favorite birthday menu, cake, outing, and song to be piped through the household as a birthday” wake-up” call. Some families even hang a family member’s shirt on a flagpole or broomstick stuck in the front lawn to let the world (or at least the neighborhood) know it’s that person’s special day.
  •  Frivolous fun: Fly kites on Groundhog Day; play practical jokes on April Fool’s Day.
  •  Sports and outdoors: Go fishing on Father’s Day; be die-hard Chargers fans together.
  •  Volunteering and service projects: bake an extra turkey for Mrs.Jones on Thanksgiving; serve Christmas Eve dinner at the homeless shelter or help out at another,less “popular” time of year. Help your favorite charity as a family once a week or month.
  •  Enjoying each others company: spread a rug or towel on your living room floor,gather the troops, put on some up beat music, and serve simple sandwiches, finger food, and boxed drinks. Who says you have to go somewhere to have a good time together?
  •  Family Game Night: dust off the Chutes and Ladders, Yahtzee, Monopoly, Candy land, Go Fish, or that old deck of cards. Older kids might like Trouble, Uno, Kerplunk, Risk, or Porker. Some families hold Family Game Night once a week for thirty minutes to an hour. Have an assortment of games and let a different family members choose what you play each time.

I read the other day that research has proven that doing simple rituals enhances our feelings of togetherness and family belonging by almost 20 percent. What’s more those home traditions and customs also increase our kid’s social skills and development. So what are you doing to keep memories of your times together for your kids?  Good ol’ fun sounds like time spent at grandma’s house. Doesn’t it?