Category Archives: family

Call Her Sweetheart

Posted in family, Life, Love, Parenting, relationships, Romace by

Your loves name is more than a word. When you say his or her name aloud or in your head, it evokes everything, all your memories, all the time you’ve spent together, all the trips you’ve made, the children you’ve had, and the obstacles you’ve overcome. Some people only say their partner’s name when they’re angry, they want something, or they’re yelling or complaining.

The  name loses its valuable identity and becomes associated with negative feelings. So make sure you use your loves name with tenderness, caring and emotion as often as you can. Each time you say it that way, you’ll be filled with love. Dear… Honey…Snookums…Baby…Lover…Kid… Sweetheart… They show you care, especially when your love saves them just for you. But they’re not the same as saying someone’s name. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care when you call their name out.

Some parents call each other Mom and Dad, imitating their children. This may sound cute, but it removes your individuality and replaces it with a role. So it’s better to reserve those titles for your children’s use. Sweetheart it’s best to use an enduring name for each other.

Ready Set Grow

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Mentoring by

Every grandparent enjoys a unique position in their grandchildren‘s lives. You don’t have to strive to be special. You’re special by definition. You can come into your own as a grandparent, if you put your own distinctive stamp on your role by being inimitably who you are. If you do, you’ll find you have a devoted fan in your grandchildren. Start sharing an activity that you enjoy (gardening) or a hobby  (bird watching) or you may have a particular skill (perhaps drawing, knotting, needlework, or playing tennis), which you can share with your grandchildren. This can provide an opportunity for them to go with you into a world all of your own, one that only you can introduce them to.

The great thing is that you will have boundless enthusiasm for the activity. That’s infectious, and your enthusiasm will rub off on to your grandchildren.You will communicate that energy to your grandchildren so that it becomes a thrilling journey you take together, with you as benevolent teacher and your grandchildren as willing students.

If you enjoy activities together when your grandchildren are very young, they’ll grow up thinking of you as an exciting companion, someone special who shares special pleasures with them. Children are very sensitive to this act of joyful discovery and, as soon as they’re able, they start to bring little gifts of that same kind to you.

 You form your own virtuous circle, where you respect what each can teach the other, and it will probably last for life. In my experiences I’m constantly surprised and delighted by the way my grandchildren push my interests further than I could have taken them on my own. Right now it’s The Cat In The Hat… Go Go Go on an adventure with my grandson’s Jeremy and Jesse!

And of course you open up your grandchildren’s world in a way that’s special to you. It can be anything, from finding out about insects to stamp collecting or jewelry making. The possibilities are endless. Aren’t they?

Encourage your grandchildren in all sorts of different activities. It’ the doing it together that counts.Grandchildren enjoy putting a plant seed in a used yogurt container, or a small plastic tray is fine for planting seeds together. You can teach your grandchildren what plants need to grow.

They can help you water them and you can show them where the perfect place is for the seeds to get the right amount of sun, soil, and you can track the seeds’ growth at each visit. Choose seeds that grow quickly and dramatically, like purple flowering morning glory’s.

 Even better collect the seeds from seed heads in your garden and plant them. Then your grandchildren can get the idea of the circle of life in a very simple way. When the seeds turn into flowers you can let the flowers dry out and use a flower press and turn them into a dry flower collage for the whole family to admire.

 Grandchildren also enjoy looking at things under a microscope. Dead insects and spiders that they find are a particular favorite. But so are plants.The underside of the leaf of a fern with all the rows of seeds is very exciting when seen in up close. Even newsprint looks thrilling through a microscope. The things grandparents do out of love! There is no one else except my grandson’s that could get me to look at dead insects much less spiders under a microscope. Oh! That’s just gross isn’t it?

Fight The Good Fight

Posted in family, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by

No relationship is without conflict and differences of opinions, preference, and even direction and a relationship is only as good as the conflict it can contain.

 This means that a relationship has vitality only to the degree that it can endure the stresses of each difference and resolve them through healthy conflict, so that the relationship and the individuals in it can move toward greater authenticity.

Then notion of the totally tranquil, we-never-fight relationship as the paragon of love is a dangerous fallacy. All too often the persons in such a situation are scared to death of testing the resilience of their relationship by airing their real differences, or have so suppressed their individual selves that their differences seem invisible.

Many couples are scared of conflict because they don’t know how to fight. They are afraid their own anger will run away with them, that they’ll lose control and become vicious, vituperative, or even physically destructive. They maybe afraid of the other person’s anger. They wonder will he or she yell, throw things, slam the door, or maybe walk out?

These behaviors can sometimes occur and can even be a real danger, especially for people who have been abused with anger themselves. But even they can learn to express anger in a constructive way.The sign of a good fight is that it makes you both feel you have discovered something, that you know one another better.

Even if you fight again and again about the same issues (and most people do), a good fight gives you hope about the future because you have gained a measure of insight about something that previously baffled or frustrated you. Here’s some help:

1. Try to see what you’re upset about. This is usually something very specific:”That he or she didn’t call you” not “Because life is miserable.”

2. State your feelings and why you feel that way: “I’m upset that you didn’t call because it makes me feel unloved.”

3. Say what you need in recompense: ” I need you to apologize.”

4. After your mate has given the apology, ask yourself and him or her if you feel totally resolved.

5. Kiss and make up.

For example: “I’m upset with you for yelling at me about burning the tea kettle. You embarrassed me in front of Jane. It made me feel belittled to have to have her hear you talk to me like that. I need you to apologize.” I’m sorry, honey. I was in such a rush this morning and was anxious about that big meeting. I was out of line. I don’t want to make you feel that way. Please forgive me.”  

 

This kind of fight could win the  “Academy Awards for the Most Civilized Fight”. There are many people who agree to disagree about an offense and make it a point to resolve it in a timely manner.

They never go to bed upset with each other. Yes! They do deserve an award for being the kind of people that we all should aspire to be like. Don’t they?

You can learn to be gracious when someone offends you. To start with try to remember.

1. A good fight isn’t a free for all. Don’t say everything you feel like saying even though you may have a legitimate gripe. Remember that words can wound, and after the fight you don’t want a battered mate.

2. Be specific with your complaints. Don’t throw in all your grievances since time began.

3. Let the other person’s words sink in before you take up your cudgel. Remember, you’re having this fight to learn something, to arrive at some new insight as well as an immediate resolution.

4. Go easy on yourself and your honey when you don’t do it perfectly.

Grandpa’s Fishing Buddies

Posted in family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Keepsakes, Mentoring, relationships, Uncategorized by

The perfect gift is not always a material one. Our grandchildren do not need nor do they want what we can buy them; they need and want us. The best gift you can give them is you. Your faith, wisdom, stories, morals, life lessons, and philosophy,not to mention your time and presence.

I am most impressed with the many grandmothers whom I know who do special things and make special gifts for their grandchildren. Made by their own hands, these gifts of love are attached to forever memories.

My friend Jane hand-made matching outfits with matching hats for her grandchildren and their grandpa to wear when they went fishing together. They out grew the out fits years ago but when they go fishing with their grandpa they make sure that they all wear the hats that went to their matching out fits. They enjoy talking about the all the times they went fishing with their grandpa and are in awe of their grandmothers sewing skills.

Their fishing hats have become a physical reminder of the love and care she feels for them. Recently for their grandpa’s birthday they made a scrapbook for each family member. They included their memories and lots of photos of them fishing with him. Each photo told a story. What a treasure for them to have! They surprised their grandparents with a throw pillow made of the same print that their childhood fishing out fits were made of. Their grandparents were just thrilled in fact they seemed more impressed with the throw pillow that the scrapbook.

Many invisible gifts were given to Jane’s grandchildren while they were fishing with their grandpa. He introduced them nature, lakes, ponds, the ocean, sea creatures. He shared with them stories about fishing with his father and brother and all the antics that took place between them as he was growing up. He was able to enjoy sharing his past with his grandchildren and they got to learn things about him that if they hadn’t spent the time fishing with him they might not of ever learned about him. Those moments were the invisible gifts from one generation to the next.

Grandparents are in the perfect position to give gifts that unlock life. These gifts may be invisible to others, but they are always visible to their grandchildren. What a perfect opportunity to breathe life upon a grandchild. The invisible gift. I’ll take it. Wrap up lots of them for me and make that to go! The joy will be priceless.

Make Every Day You’re In Love Memorable

Posted in family, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by

When you’re in love, every day should be considered, memorable. Every good-morning kiss, every hug, every caress, every cuddle. As the years of your couplehood fly by, you accumulate a house full of furniture, an attic full of old clothes, a heart full of children, a garage full of treasured junk, and one mind, shared by two people full of golden memories. You’re not conscious of making memories. A walk down the aisle, a period of tropical bliss, a toddler’s first steps, and a family vacation may stand out, but the majority of your precious minutes together on earth are not so easily held onto.

 Can you possibly remember every shared moment? Of course not. But while so many thousands of events can’t possibly  stick out in your mind, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t act like they will. Even if you can’t remember every time you do something together, by putting more of yourself into each and every shared moment, they’ll mean so much more to you when they’re occurring.

 For instance don’t just kiss perfunctorily. Put more energy in your hugs. Look your partner in the eyes, and it when you say “I love you.” At the end of the day, your memory banks may not be any fuller, but your love will be a lot richer.

In The Kitchen With Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms, Parenting by

 You don’t have to teach your grandchildren how to bake a cake like the one in this picture of a Betty Crocker birthday circus cake. All you need to do is teach them a few simply things about cooking and how your kitchen gadgets work.

Here are few suggestions to help you to think about what you and your grandchildren might like to do in your kitchen. I hope you have as much fun as I have had with my friends and family in our kitchens.

  • Let your grandchildren sit next to you while you prepare food and explain what you’re doing and why.
  • Sink Play, wrap your grandchildren in an apron or dish towel and provide lots of utensils. Then stand them safely on a chair and play water games.
  • Inviting your grandchildren to cook with you is a great way to introduce them to a verity of foods even vegetables. Ask them to hold the containers for you and let them help you pour the vegetable into a pan or crock pot. Sometime they get so excited they even eat the vegetables. Isn’t that awesome?
  • Let them make what my friend Jane’s grandchildren call “stuff” they all love mixing the most unlikely ingredients together into a big bowel to make stuff; this is a great way of exercising their creativity.
  • Ask them to clean up the mess with a paper towel
  • Let them wipe the low surfaces with a damp cloth to clean up and be helpful
  • This is one of my favorite suggestions wash paintbrushes in the sink to make rainbow water.
  • Invite  your grandchildren to go to a Strawberry or Blue Berry Farm with you.  Don’t forget to bring along personalized buckets for them.

Let them cook! Encouraging a child to help in the kitchen has benefits for everyone. You’re teaching them about cooking and being independent. When they are old enough they can cook a meal for you!

Veggie Tales

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Movies by

“God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man” is one of my grandson’s favorite songs to sing. It’s a catchy little tune isn’t it?  When we sing it over and over and over we laugh a hardy laugh. You try it, say it over and over and see how you feel afterwards. Wasn’t that fun?  Doesn’t God have a great sense of humor?  Talking Veggies! Veggie Tales is an American series of children’s animated films featuring anthropomorphic vegetables in stories conveying moral themes based  on Christianity. They frequently retell Biblical stories, sometimes anachronistically reframe, and include humours references to pop culture in many different ears by putting Veggies spins on them. Big Idea has also published Veggie Tales books and music CDs and branded items such as toys, clothing, and garden seeds for vegetables and flowers. I for one love the name “Big Idea Productions.”  for the name of the publishing company. That’s a God thing. Isn’t it?

Their aim was to produce children’s videos which conveyed Christian moral themes and taught Biblical values and lessons. The animated featured involved stories told by a group of recurring vegetable characters wh lived on a kitchen countertop. The first 30-mintue program called   “Where’s God When I’m S-Scared?”  They also released two feature-length movies in 1993 “Jonah” A Veggie Tales Movie and “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” 

VeggieTales has a continuous back story that all the cartoons are actually teleplays, performed by various vegetables and fruit that live together on the same kitchen countertop. Some of these characters have “real names,” and take on various roles in the teleplays, although they will also often appear as themselves. Most of these “regulars” were established in the very earliest videos, while some have been added more recently. 

Don’t forget!  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man,  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man. Did I tell you that God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man? I don’t think that Veggie Tales is just for kids. It’s for parents and grandparents too. Remember God Is For You!

 

When We Accept What Is

Posted in Dreams, family, Family Values, Life, Love, relationships, Romace, Spiritual by

We usually mosey into relationships seeing their obvious possibilities, imagining specified outcomes, cocooning them with our own expectations.

But what actually occurs is often shockingly different from what we expected.

 The person you wanted to marry has a phobia about commitment. The woman you knew would make a great mother decides to go off to law school.

The suitor with the bottomless trust fund decides to give away all his money and live in a cave. Surprising revisions can happen on even at the simplest levels: “When I fell in love with him, he was wearing a black cashmere sweater and a pair of black dress pants; but after I married him, all he would wear was sweatshirts, his favorite sports hats and jeans.”

Expectations come in two forms: general and specific. General expectations have to do with our dreams and plans for a specific relationship that it will lead to marriage, that it will bring you children, that it will make you “happy.” Specific expectations have to do with what we think we can count on day-to-day – he’ll take out the trash, she’ll handle the kids in a way I approve of. On one level, these expectations are all quite reasonable;  it’s appropriate to have long-range plans and goals, and it’s legitimate to expect specific kinds of participation from your partner.

But when your relationship becomes a litany of failed expectations— what you hoped for but didn’t get—– its time to look at what’s happening from an entirely different perspective. Perhaps, instead of needing to “communicate better” or “negotiate your differences” on an emotional level, you’re being asked, on a spiritual level, to learn to accept what is.

Accepting — finding a way to be comfortable with things as they are—- is actually a very developed spiritual state. It means that you’re relinquished the preconceptions of your ego and surrendered to what’s been given to you. Maybe he’s not the provider you hoped for, but his spiritual strength is a constant inspiration; perhaps she’s not the housekeeper you wanted, but the way she nurtures your children is absolutely beautiful.

Acceptance allows your spirit to grow. When you’re able to recognize the little  miracles and great lessons that replace your expectations, you suddenly discover that what you hoped for— was pitifully puny compared to what was actually held in store for you. And in a way far more complex and elegant than you could have imagined, your life is following a sacred design. 

 So if you want a life that is larger than life and a relationship that is finer than even your wildest hopes, peel back your expectations and start to accept the good in what is.  (This only applies to mentally stable people.)

Friendships Are Like Gold

Posted in family, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by

Friendships are like gold even though Friends may not spend time gazing into each others eyes they do show great tenderness toward each other. 

Friends like gold face in the same direction toward common projects, interests, hobbies, goals, and all the ups and downs that life brings their way.  Above all they enjoy friendships that are deep-rooted in trust. 

 Few sounds on earth can compare with the sound of friends laughing. Hearty laughter is oil in the engine of friendship: With laughter, things run smoothly; without it, the gears have a tendency to grind. A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad. Herein, we consider the joys of a good laugh and the blessings of a good friend with whom to share it.

 Trusted friends know when laughing is the last thing on our minds. Sometimes, we fall prey to worry, frustration, anxiety, or sheer exhaustion…and our hearts become heavy. What’s needed is plenty of rest, a large dose of perspective, a heaping helping of faith, and the encouraging words of a trusted friend…but not necessarily in that order. A trusted friend is someone you can share all your sorrows with and your joys.  Anyone who has experienced a life long friendship knows this statement is true.

Our friends and loved ones provide some of life’s greatest delights, but the pleasures of friendship are never delivered on a one-way street. In order to gain friendship we must first give it away. Friendship is reciprocal; no one feels it who does not at the same time give it. We feel it when we see our friends and loved ones, they smile, you smile, their face brightens up, your face brightens up … you have struck gold!

Always Express Your Gratitude

Posted in family, Life, Love, relationships, Romace by

Saying thank you is how we express our gratitude and it has a great effect on our partners.

For the person being thanked, a “thank you” is a mirror of the love he or she has given.

It not only increases our sense of ourselves as loving persons but enlarges our capacity to be loving.

Whatever form it comes in, smiles, kisses, cash, praise, hugs, compliments, time, candy, lovemaking, letters, texting, listening, a new hat, a new baby, a new car, a planned vacation, a surprise vacation, an insight, a sense of security, a bouquet of flowers, the sharing of some feelings. Saying “Thank You” can have a great effect.

Saying “Thank You” is also important for the person who says it. On the simplest level, it’s an act of courtesy, a recognition of the good thing the other person has done. But on a deeper level, it’s a way of changing our consciousness about the nature of our relationships. For, in uttering our gratitude, we anchor in our minds that fact that we’ve been given to.

It’s all to easy, in any relationship, to become a whining, complaining, grumpy partner who feels as if the other person has never done, and will never do, anything nice or special for you. Saying “Thank You” dispels this feeling of hopelessness and creates an internal attitude of attitude of optimism. A pathway formed in our minds that in time becomes a thoroughfare; the belief that we have been treated with generosity and goodness of heart, that begins to take root in our consciousness. In this sense, saying “Thank You” is a character building act. It develops a positive view of our partners and the people in our lives.

Just as millions of snowflakes pile up to create a blanket of snow, the “thank you’s” we say pile up and fall frequently upon one another until, in our hearts and minds, we are adrift in gratitude.

A Little Boomer Humor

Posted in family, Humor, Life, Moms, relationships, Uncategorized, Women, Working Women by

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”  Author George Burns. ” One of the problems about retirement is that it gives you more time to read about retirement.” This is Bob’s story about life after retirement.

Dear Friends,

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for the to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to yell. Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I got laid off from my consulting job and took early retirement in March, it became necessary for Nadine to get a full-time job, both for the extra income and for the health benefits that we need. It was shortly after she started working that I noticed she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for a half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to yell; instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. She use to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating. Now it is not unusual for them to sit on the table for many hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren’t cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed. Now that she is older, she seems to get tired much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can’t make another trip down those steps. I don’t make a big issue of this, as long as she finishes the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.

Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday’s or Sunday’ poker club, or to Tuesday’s or Thursday’s bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to take care of odds and ends, like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or dusting.

Also, if I have a really good day fishing, it allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nadine is starting to complain a little occasionally. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way she wouldn’t have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch altogether now and then would hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. Recently she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nadine on a daily basis. I’m saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can be as they get older. However, guys, even if you yell at your wife just a little less often because of this article, I will consider writing it worthwhile. Bob.

Bob’s funeral was Sunday, April 25th and Nadine was acquitted Monday, April 27 th. That says it all. Doesn’t it?

The History of Cup Cakes

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, History, Life, The History of Cup Cakes, Women by

If you’re a cup cake baker extraordinaire like I am? Then you will enjoy reading about the history of cup cakes. When my daughter was three years old we started going to a french bakery. The Baker would come over and say, “Bonjour” to her and she would say “Bonjour” back to him. It’s always so sweet when little girls say “Bonjour” isn’t it?  Then he would offer her a taste of one of his scrumptious desserts but she would shake her head as to say “no” and ask him for a cup cake please!  As time went by she had tasted every kind of cup cake the baker could think to make. If she liked it he would make it the cup cake of the week. As a result he came up with  many creative ways to decorate the cup cakes and his cup cake sales increased by fifty percent.

 I became inspired and learned how bake and decorate cup cakes like the ones he baked at the bakery. I can honestly say that If there’s a way to decorate a cup cake I have tried it. Sometimes they turned out perfect and other times they ended up in the trash but it didn’t matter because I always had one fan who didn’t care if the cup cakes turned out the way I wanted them to or not she would eat them.  If you are a cup cake extraordinaire or just enjoy eating cup cakes. 

 “The History of Cup Cakes“

A cupcake (also British English: Fairy Cake; Australian English: Patty cake or Cup Cake is a small cake designed to serve one person, often baked in a small, thin paper or aluminum cup. As with larger cakes, frosting and other cake decorations, such as sprinkles, are common on cupcakes.

Although their origin is unknown, recipes for cupcakes have been printed since at least the late 12th century. The first mention of the cupcake can be traced as far back as 1796, when a recipe notation of  “a cake baked in small cups” was written in American Cookery by Amelia Simms. The earliest documentation of the term cupcakes was in ” Seventy-five Receipts for Pastry , Cakes and Sweetmeats” in 1828 in Eliza Receipts cookbook.

In the early 19th century, there were two different uses for the name cup cake or cupcake. In previous centuries, before muffin tins were widely available, the cakes were often baked in individual pottery cups, ramekins, or mold and took their name from the cups they were baked in. This is the use of  the name that has persisted, and the name of  “cupcake” is now giving to any small cake that is about the size of a teacup.

 The name “Fairy Cake” is a fanciful description of its size, which would be appropriate for a party of diminutive fairies to share. While English fairy cakes vary in size more than American cupcakes, they are traditionally smaller and are rarely topped with elaborate icing.

The other kind of “cup cake” referred to a cake whose ingredients were measured by volume, using a standard-sized cup could also be baked in cups; however, they were  commonly baked in tins as layers or loaves. In later years, when the use of volume measurements was firmly established in home kitchens, these recipes became known as 1, 2, 3, 4 cakes or quarter cakes so-called because they are made of four ingredients: one cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of flour, and four eggs. They are plain yellow cakes, somewhat less rich and less expensive than pound cake, due to using about half as much butter and eggs compared to pound cakes. The names of these two major classes of cakes were intended to signal the method to the baker; “Cup Cake” uses a volume measurement, and “Pound Cake” uses a volume measurement , and “Pound Cake” uses a weight measurement.

In the early 21st century, a trend for cupcake shops was reported in the United States, playing off of the sense of nostalgia evoked by the cakes. In New York, cupcake shops like Magnolia Bakery gained publicity in their appearances on poplar television shows. In 2010 television presenter Martha Stewart published a cook book dedicated to cup cakes.

Cupcakes have become  more than a trend over the years; they’ve become an industry. Rachel Kramer Bussel, who has blogged about cupcakes since 2004 at Cupcakes Take the Cake, said that in the last two years or so cupcakes have become popular nationwide.

A “cake in a mug” is a variant that gained popularity on many internet cooking forums and mailing lists. The technique uses a mug as its cooking vessel and can be done in a microwave oven. The recipe often takes fewer than five minutes to prepare.

After I read the history of cup cakes  I wonder did I miss my calling? Should I have become a cup cake extraordinaire baker? No! I don’t think so. I was happy to just bake cup cakes for my family. However I am looking forward to eating cup cakes with my grandchildren in the future.

Moms and Dads Are Raising Great Kids!

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, relationships by

Do moms really read parenting books?  Of course they do they’ve probably read dozens especially when their first baby was born. Have those books been helpful? Yes. In some cases the information about childcare development and medical health issues is very practical and often comforting.

But frankly, reading book after book hasn’t reduced the amount of guilt, stress, and mania among mothers around us. In fact it may have increased it.

There have been just too many parenting books by too many authors who call themselves experts. The net result has been confusion, and mothers who still doubt themselves and worry that their children aren’t thriving.

When researching parenting books make sure that the author has children and is actively involved in their children’s day-to-day lives. It’s not too much to ask of authors of books on parenting to have hands on experience and education about parenting. That is the best. Isn’t it?  There are some solid parenting principles that have been around for decades but all to often forgotten. There are parenting books that simply remind us all the basics. What has always been natural, instinctive, and intuitive for real mothering. Unfortunately, these core principles have been obliterated by the frenzy and mania of commercialized parenting. But now it’s time to get back, get real, and restore the simple truth about mothering: That its foundation is the powerful and unconditional love and connection that ultimately lasts for always. 

  So trust yourself and those maternal instincts no one knows your child better that you. Don’t forget to relax, enjoy the moment, and remember to laugh. I know! You’re thinking that’s easer said than done. Yes, it is but it works!

Antiques and Keepsakes

Posted in Books, Family Values, generational changes, History, Keepsakes, Life, traditions by

The definition of antique varies from source to source, product to product, and year to year. The only known exceptions to the “100 year rule” would be cars. Since the definition of the term antique requires an item to be at least 100 years, or older, and the items in question must be in its original and unaltered condition to be an ‘antique’ if they are roughly 75 years old, or more (some cars can be registered as “classic” when  25 years old, such as muscle cars and luxury vehicles such as a ( Rolls-Royce and Bentley). Further, this is not n universally accepted concern, but rather a consideration made almost strictly by car collectors and enthusiasts.

In the United States, the 1930 Smoot-Hawley Act defined an antique as “works (except rugs and carpets made after the year 1700), collections in illustrations of the progress of the arts, works in bronze, marble,terra-cotta, Parian, pottery or porcelain, artistic antiquities and objects of ornamental character or educational value produced prior to the year 1830. 1830 was roughly the beginning of mass productions in the US and 100 years older than Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act. These definitions allow people to make a distinction between genuine antique pieces, vintage items, and collectible objects. The term antiquarian refers to a person interested in antiquities, or things of the past.

The definition of a keepsake is some object given by a person and retained in memory of something or someone; something kept for sentimental or nostalgic reasons. She gave him a lock of her hair as a keepsake of their time together. Historical specifically, a type of literary album popular in the nineteeth-century, containing scraps of poetry and pose, and engravings. Keepsakes can be called mementos, souvenir, and memorabilia retained in memory of something, someone or a special occasion. Life is full of keepsakes. Every person has them. Every person keeps them. We find them in closets, in scrapbooks, under beds, in attics and in garages. Keepsakes are forever.

 The other day I stopped in at an estate sale the house was bulging at the seams with antiques and keepsakes.  Everything from Vintage jewelry to first edition books signed by the authors. The owners also had beautifully crafted figurines inspired by artist Muriel Joseph George. It got me thinking. What is a keepsake? The thesaurus gives synonyms for keepsakes: mementos, memorial, remembrance, souvenir, symbol, token, trophy. But I’m not sure these words adequately describe a keepsake.

To me, a keepsake is something that when I look at it, my mind becomes flooded with the taste, smell, sound, and memory of an event. It’s something that I don’t have to write an explanation for in the scrapbook. When I glance at a program from a day at the “Ice Capades” all my sense’s come alive. Once again I can pretend that I’m a famous Ice Skater like the one’s in the Ice Capdes that day. Our keepsakes are like a life long friend, who reminds us of the all those special occasions we have experienced in life.

Working Women

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Life, Moms, relationships, Women by

Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common they work in the same office, have the same duties and earn the same salary.

They both like movies and meet every friday night at the movie theater. So how can you tell which one is the grandmother?

Easy! The one who goes to the store on her lunch hour, calls to see if the baby vomited, and rushes to take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to her son because he forgot his lunch. She’s the mother.

The one in the darling little dress with matching accessories and is perfectly manicured, the one who sits and orders a salad and a glass of wine while unfolding those endless pictures of adorable kids, she’s the grandmother.

 Can you see how nothing separates the generations like lunch?  Mothers are the ones gobbling down their food, while checking their bank balance on their cell phones. They are the ones using their techie gadgets to keep track of all their responsibilities. Grandmothers are the ones who wait in line at the best restaurants for the best tables.

They care about staying away from fattening foods and sometimes they’ll order off the low-calorie menu or ask the chef to leave this and that off their plate. But on other days when they go for it, on days when they say, Why not? Let’s live a little,” and have things like crème brûlée for dessert with a liqueur. On those days they just breathe a little deeper and rush off to fancy gyms, where for the price of nursery school tuition, they roll back into shape with the help of their personal trainers.

Mothers on the other hand after splurging on a double helping of chocolate chipcookies get back in shape by following exercise videos at home. Grandmothers at lunch discuss the accomplishments of their children and what to buy their grandchildren. A mother’s idea of a relaxing lunch is to turn their cell phone off, drive through and order fast food and enjoy their me time. Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common except for how they spend their lunch hour. However Julie the grandmother, remembers how she spent her lunch hour when she was a young mom. She enjoys providing a listening ear for Elizabeth, just not at lunch.