Category Archives: Chidren

Create A Happy Heart

Posted in Chidren, Dreams, family, Life, relationships by

Life is full of opportunities to create a happy heart. My mother use to say the most wasted of all days, is one with out laughter. She believed in positive thinking and that singing happy songs help to make for a happy heart.

 She loved to dance, sing and laugh. When I was a young girl my mother had a happy song, dance, a funny joke or saying for every situation in life. I don’t mean that as a metaphor I mean it literally.

When life dealt her lemons she was the kind of mother who would make lemonade out of the lemons. She was a half glass full kind of mother. One of my favorite examples of my mothers positive attitude and keeping a happy heart took place when I was thirteen and my best friend Vicky was celebrating her birthday at Disneyland.

The day the invitation arrived I was ecstatic. As far as I was concerned there was nothing better than the E ticket rides at Disneyland. I had lots of E tickets from  previous visits and I was full of expectations. The night before the big day all I did was talk, talk and talk about the rides. I don’t know how my mother kept her wits about her while she listened to my excessive talking. 

 One of the songs my mother and I use sing and listen to was called ” You Talk To Much”. I remember she was singing the words to the song under her breath. I’m sure she was hoping that I would get a clue and stop talking but you know how thirteen year old girls are.

Finally when the big day arrived I woke up and my neck hurting when I told my mother she did everything she could to try to help stop the pain but nothing worked. I was broken-hearted when my mother told me to call my Vicky and let her know that I wouldn’t be able to go.

I hung up the phone and I realized that I was not going to be able to celebrate Vicky’s birthday. I wondered how was I ever going to get over being disappointed?  The girls and I had mapped out and made a list of rides we were going to on and we saved our allowances so we could buy a present for Vick’s birthday.

 I started crying and my mother tried to console me. She said maybe, if your neck starts feeling better she could drive you to meet up with Vicky and the girls later in the day. I said, sure mom that would be ok. When I finished my melt down I noticed that my mom had left the room and I became curious and went to find out what she was doing.

When I found her she had taken off her night-gown and had put on a funny dress, hat and fun music on her old RCA record player.  At first when I saw her I thought to myself, how dare her be so happy when I was so sad. Then after listening to a few of her happy songs I started to sing and dance along with her. The next thing I knew. I wasn’t sad any more. The pain in my neck was gone but it was still stiff.

I’m glade that my mother applied a positive attitude to my situation and it did make for a merry heart. Life isn’t always about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

 

Hoop It Up With Your Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Keepsakes, Parenting, relationships, traditions by

Are you wondering how to get your grandchildren moving, spark their imaginations, and make the evening so much fun, they’ll want to come back next week?

I just read a list of activities suggested for grandparents by Grandparents.com and I have added a few comments of my own to their list. I hope you enjoy reading a little granny humor today!

  •  Balloon volleyball ! Players bat a balloon back and forth, using part of their bodies, keeping it from hitting the ground. To make it harder, add more balloons. We do that in our house and the kids get a big kick out of it. Jesse likes to lay on a balloon and try to make it pop. What can I say?
  • Indoor safari! Hide stuffed animals around your house before your grandkids get there; then have your junior explorers search for wild game. Are you kidding me? I’m still finding stuffed animals that they stashed around the house from last Christmas it’s always an endless safari hunt in our house! But it does sound like a fun activity. Doesn’t it?
  • Time machine! Scan old family photos, like childhood pictures of your grandkids’ parents, on your computer. Print them out and let the kids create funny captions or stories. Can you see the humor in all the funny things that grandkids could do to photos of their parents. I sure can!
  • Karaoke! To make it even more fun, you sing along to your grandkids’ favorite songs and see if they can tackle tunes from your era. I don’t know about you but my grandkids always ask that I don’t sing. According to my grandson Jeremy I can’t sing or read so good! The funny thing about what he said it is he is true. I do struggle with some of the tongue twisters from “The Cat In The Hat.” Have you tried reading or singing some of the Cat In The Hat stuff? I can’t be the only grandmother with issues about it!
  • Game night! Not video games teach them classic games they don’t know, like jacks, marbles, or pick up sticks. Well I can tell we aren’t going to be playing any of these games in our house for a few years, because Jesse is only two years old and he’s not going to coöperate with us on this one. But we can play cars and trucks even if he tries to take mine away from me.
  • Gotta Dance! Teach the kids your favorite ballroom dance  since Dancing with the Stars, it’s cool again. I suggest you check with their parents first on this one. Not everyone thinks Dancing with the Stars is cool, if you know what I mean?
  • Hula-Hoop it up! You try it too. The kids will love watching you give it a whirl. This sounds like a blast from the past doesn’t it? Just make sure your hips are in alignment before you hula hoop it up!
  • Take it on the road! museums, aquariums, and zoos around the country are offering families the opportunity to sleep over night among the dinosaurs, dolphins, and deer. Call and find out if your local institutions offer this option. And as always, clear it with the parents. That sounds awesome doesn’t it? But if you want to save gas, time and money just go in their bedrooms most grandkids rooms are full of stuffed animals that their grandparents bought for them and with just a little imagination it’s like being at in a zoo. Isn’t it? 
  • Say Cheese! Snap photos with a digital camera all evening. Print the pictures while the kids sleep, then have them assemble sleepover scrapbooks to take home in the morning. And don’t forget to make one for  yourself. It’s sure to be one of your most treasured possessions! I love this idea I’m going to try it. How about you?

After reading this list I am saying to myself; How’s that going to work out for grandparents? The reason is these activities are suggested between dinner time and bed time. I don’t know about you but we make it a point to create a claim atmosphere in order to create the desire in them to them to go to sleep.

I know my son and daughter-in-law would not appreciate me playing balloon volleyball with my grandson’s just before bedtime. I suggest doing these activities in the morning so they’ll get tired out and you can all take a nap after lunch. That sounds good doesn’t it? After all there is nothing like a good old-fashioned nap. Is there? Just remember what ever you do to hoop it up with your grandkids have a blast doing it! So long for now from a Granny in Training!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Parenting, relationships, Songs, traditions by

Do You Hear What I Hear? has always been one of my favorite Christmas Carols. I love the soft, gentle notes as they draw out the words:” Do you hear what I hear?” I melt as the violins respond: “A song, a song high above the trees with a voice as big as the sea.” I love this Carol because it is about listening, hearing the sounds of night. The words challenge the heart to hear and know truth. The theme calls us to recognize that moment when truth manifests itself before us. My friend Jane and her husband Bob told me a story about listening. I’m so inspired by it that I want to share it with you. 

Jane was happy to share with me about the wisdom she gleaned from a man who mentored his children in a quiet time each day. His example stressed the importance of sitting quietly, listening to what he called the song of the heart. How many of us listen? How many of us teach our children and grandchildren to stop and listen?

A few years ago Jane and Bob initiated a rest time with their grandchildren. Each year, they go spend time in the summer with them. Following the hectic morning activities, they usually set aside a time in the afternoon to rest. They call it their quiet time, Bob told me that he wished he could have told me that they started having quite time for noble reasons, but he confessed it was out necessity. He started doing it when he found himself tired and needing to regain some strength, he did it for himself. Now it has become a tradition.

Jane and Bob’s story, includes a message for us to take to heart. During an extended visit, she decided to try a quiet time with her grandchildren. After she picked them up at school, she parked the car underneath an oak tree, rolled the window down, and told them, “Now we are going to so something really fun. We are going to have quiet time and listen.”

Expectantly their faces lighted up in anticipation. She explained the plan, and wouldn’t you know it, as soon as she stopped talking, a train went by. They listened. They clearly heard the whistle, the wheels as they clattered on the track, the sounds of the cars clanging together. The children were amazed and excited. When quiet time was over, they had much to talk about.

The next day they tried it again. This time they heard a bird signing and leaves rustling as the wind blew through the trees. About two days later, Jennifer, age four, awoke, Jennifer explained, “I miss my mommy.” Jane asked her what could be done.  “I need a quiet time for a few minutes,” Jennifer replied, “so I can miss her.”

Jane left the room. A few minutes later, Jennifer came down the hall. “I’m done,” she said. Something happened in those few minutes. In the way of a child, Jennifer listened to the song of her heart and was comforted. Perhaps she thought of her mom and her favorite memory. Maybe she cried and sucked her thumb or sang her favorite song. We don’t what transpired in those precious moments, but we like to think that she heard a still, small whisper from a loving God who said, “It is OK. I am here.”

Jane and I enjoy connecting a quiet time to a time of listening to the song of our hearts. We like the results that happen when we encourage our grandchildren to stop and listen, to regather and recenter when they have a need. We are looking forward to adopting and expanding on ways to spend quiet time with them in the future. Jane has four grandchildren and I have two and one on the way. That’s seven children that we can be quiet and listen with. Do you hear what I hear?

Ready Set Grow

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Mentoring by

Every grandparent enjoys a unique position in their grandchildren‘s lives. You don’t have to strive to be special. You’re special by definition. You can come into your own as a grandparent, if you put your own distinctive stamp on your role by being inimitably who you are. If you do, you’ll find you have a devoted fan in your grandchildren. Start sharing an activity that you enjoy (gardening) or a hobby  (bird watching) or you may have a particular skill (perhaps drawing, knotting, needlework, or playing tennis), which you can share with your grandchildren. This can provide an opportunity for them to go with you into a world all of your own, one that only you can introduce them to.

The great thing is that you will have boundless enthusiasm for the activity. That’s infectious, and your enthusiasm will rub off on to your grandchildren.You will communicate that energy to your grandchildren so that it becomes a thrilling journey you take together, with you as benevolent teacher and your grandchildren as willing students.

If you enjoy activities together when your grandchildren are very young, they’ll grow up thinking of you as an exciting companion, someone special who shares special pleasures with them. Children are very sensitive to this act of joyful discovery and, as soon as they’re able, they start to bring little gifts of that same kind to you.

 You form your own virtuous circle, where you respect what each can teach the other, and it will probably last for life. In my experiences I’m constantly surprised and delighted by the way my grandchildren push my interests further than I could have taken them on my own. Right now it’s The Cat In The Hat… Go Go Go on an adventure with my grandson’s Jeremy and Jesse!

And of course you open up your grandchildren’s world in a way that’s special to you. It can be anything, from finding out about insects to stamp collecting or jewelry making. The possibilities are endless. Aren’t they?

Encourage your grandchildren in all sorts of different activities. It’ the doing it together that counts.Grandchildren enjoy putting a plant seed in a used yogurt container, or a small plastic tray is fine for planting seeds together. You can teach your grandchildren what plants need to grow.

They can help you water them and you can show them where the perfect place is for the seeds to get the right amount of sun, soil, and you can track the seeds’ growth at each visit. Choose seeds that grow quickly and dramatically, like purple flowering morning glory’s.

 Even better collect the seeds from seed heads in your garden and plant them. Then your grandchildren can get the idea of the circle of life in a very simple way. When the seeds turn into flowers you can let the flowers dry out and use a flower press and turn them into a dry flower collage for the whole family to admire.

 Grandchildren also enjoy looking at things under a microscope. Dead insects and spiders that they find are a particular favorite. But so are plants.The underside of the leaf of a fern with all the rows of seeds is very exciting when seen in up close. Even newsprint looks thrilling through a microscope. The things grandparents do out of love! There is no one else except my grandson’s that could get me to look at dead insects much less spiders under a microscope. Oh! That’s just gross isn’t it?

It’s Time To Celebrate Out Of The Box

Posted in Babies, Chidren, Dreams, Life, Moms, Parenting, traditions by

What is more appropriate than birth for our beginning? A new child in the world offers a rich opportunity to honor the baby, the parents, the space where they will live, the already-existing siblings, the grandparents and extended family and friends.

 The actual birth process itself as well as preparation for it already creates special moments. As we grow to understand our role in adding more meaning  to our lives, this birth time is opportunity knocking with a loud beat. I can’t tell you how many unusual ways my girl friends and I created something out of the ordinary into a unordinary way to celebrate an impending childbirth celebration. We wanted to do something for each other, but not necessarily a traditional shower.

The gals and I grew up together, we married within weeks of each other and our  babies were born with in weeks of each other. As time went by they had two or three children with in weeks of each other. Then there was me the odd duck out I didn’t have my second baby until seven years later. Hey! It’s better late than never. Right!

This story is a bit unusual, as it talks about preparing the place where the baby will live. The gals and I designed the event, and this is what we did for our friends Linda and Dave. 

My friends Dave and Linda’s first baby was due near the holidays. I wanted to do something for them, but not necessarily a traditional shower. The birth time was getting close and we needed to move into action if anything was going to be done. I called Linda, saying that I wanted to offer to plan something for her and Dave. I asked her what would she like? Very quickly she said, she was dreaming of a time with close friends to prepare the living space for the baby.

She went on to explain to me that she didn’t mean a physical sense of painting and remodeling, but of welcoming the child into the world even before she arrived. I was thrilled with this idea and excited to be part of making it happen.

Linda and I started putting it together. Linda was very clear about who she and Dave wanted to attend–those folks who would understand and support the idea of a pre-birth housewarming. I called the guest on the phone, as it was short notice. This was before email and texting. It was in the 1970’s. The parents wanted the gathering place to take place in the location where the baby would be living.

The intention was to prepare a community nest for the baby. The nest would be made of stories, poetry, wisdom, favorite children’s books, lullabies and handmade items. The offering of the event would come from the heart of each guest. We trusted that each person knew what this new being needed to smooth the transition into the world, help her be comfortable and accepted before her actual arrival.

When the evening arrived, we gathered men and women in a circle n the living room of the home where the child would be living. A candle was lit in honor of the baby. We passed around a rattle to use as a talking piece.

A friend acted as host/facilitator. The offerings included prayers, live music presentations, the start of the child’s own library, special Christmas ornaments, wisdom for parenting, and stories from childhood. Best of all there was the overwhelming sense of how wanted and special this child was, even before she entered the world. Blessings  on this living home and caring parents were offered. Afterwards we ate, laughed and celebrated new life.

The actual birth came a few days later and turned out to be a little difficult for Linda, one of the things that helped her stay focused was remembering the support of those who had assisted in preparing the home for her child.

Because Linda had a clear vision, I was able to help make it happen. In this situation, I was less the creator and more an enabler. I didn’t need to agonized on what to do, as Linda knew what she wanted and I could act as the helper.

Linda designed her own evening. This celebration honored the parents and welcomed their first child into our lives. The circle of friends were ready to receive Linda and Dave’s new baby. As a thank you gift Linda and Dave gave each of us a photo frame with our names engraved randomly around the frame with a picture of their beautiful new baby girl. 

Celebrating beginnings helps us connect with family and friends in wonderful new ways. Even small beginnings, transitions can be explored and filled with wonder. The idea is not to have a “celebration in a box” solution, but spur your creative imagination. You’ll find inspiration to design an event unique to you will give meaning and love to all that participate. Celebrating out of the box is a way to connect with heart and meaning.

In The Kitchen With Grandkids

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Moms, Parenting by

 You don’t have to teach your grandchildren how to bake a cake like the one in this picture of a Betty Crocker birthday circus cake. All you need to do is teach them a few simply things about cooking and how your kitchen gadgets work.

Here are few suggestions to help you to think about what you and your grandchildren might like to do in your kitchen. I hope you have as much fun as I have had with my friends and family in our kitchens.

  • Let your grandchildren sit next to you while you prepare food and explain what you’re doing and why.
  • Sink Play, wrap your grandchildren in an apron or dish towel and provide lots of utensils. Then stand them safely on a chair and play water games.
  • Inviting your grandchildren to cook with you is a great way to introduce them to a verity of foods even vegetables. Ask them to hold the containers for you and let them help you pour the vegetable into a pan or crock pot. Sometime they get so excited they even eat the vegetables. Isn’t that awesome?
  • Let them make what my friend Jane’s grandchildren call “stuff” they all love mixing the most unlikely ingredients together into a big bowel to make stuff; this is a great way of exercising their creativity.
  • Ask them to clean up the mess with a paper towel
  • Let them wipe the low surfaces with a damp cloth to clean up and be helpful
  • This is one of my favorite suggestions wash paintbrushes in the sink to make rainbow water.
  • Invite  your grandchildren to go to a Strawberry or Blue Berry Farm with you.  Don’t forget to bring along personalized buckets for them.

Let them cook! Encouraging a child to help in the kitchen has benefits for everyone. You’re teaching them about cooking and being independent. When they are old enough they can cook a meal for you!

Veggie Tales

Posted in Chidren, family, grandkids, Grandparenting, Movies by

“God is Bigger Than the Boogie Man” is one of my grandson’s favorite songs to sing. It’s a catchy little tune isn’t it?  When we sing it over and over and over we laugh a hardy laugh. You try it, say it over and over and see how you feel afterwards. Wasn’t that fun?  Doesn’t God have a great sense of humor?  Talking Veggies! Veggie Tales is an American series of children’s animated films featuring anthropomorphic vegetables in stories conveying moral themes based  on Christianity. They frequently retell Biblical stories, sometimes anachronistically reframe, and include humours references to pop culture in many different ears by putting Veggies spins on them. Big Idea has also published Veggie Tales books and music CDs and branded items such as toys, clothing, and garden seeds for vegetables and flowers. I for one love the name “Big Idea Productions.”  for the name of the publishing company. That’s a God thing. Isn’t it?

Their aim was to produce children’s videos which conveyed Christian moral themes and taught Biblical values and lessons. The animated featured involved stories told by a group of recurring vegetable characters wh lived on a kitchen countertop. The first 30-mintue program called   “Where’s God When I’m S-Scared?”  They also released two feature-length movies in 1993 “Jonah” A Veggie Tales Movie and “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything.” 

VeggieTales has a continuous back story that all the cartoons are actually teleplays, performed by various vegetables and fruit that live together on the same kitchen countertop. Some of these characters have “real names,” and take on various roles in the teleplays, although they will also often appear as themselves. Most of these “regulars” were established in the very earliest videos, while some have been added more recently. 

Don’t forget!  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man,  God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man. Did I tell you that God Is Bigger Than The Boogie Man? I don’t think that Veggie Tales is just for kids. It’s for parents and grandparents too. Remember God Is For You!

 

Laugh Like Kids

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting, relationships by

Have you ever notice how much energy children have? Granted, they’re flinging around bodies that weigh twenty to sixty pounds while you and I weigh… never mind, let’s not go there.

But my point is that kids are indefatigable or another way to put it is that some times they seem to be incapable of being fatigued.I noticed the other day after a few hours playing with my grandsons I was all tuckered out, and needed to take a nap. As I dosed off I thought to myself I would love to be able to bottle some of their energy. Just bottle it up, and take a swig whenever I was dragging. Can you just image how much money I could make if I sold their energy in a bottle?

Whizzang! Just image that suddenly you’d be Superwoman if you had the energy of a child. If you were at work, your fingers would suddenly be flying on the keyboard at an amazing pace. What if you had the energy of a child while doing housework?  You’d have the beds made, dishes washed, socks darned, and chimney swept in the amount of time it use to take to fluff your pillow for your afternoon nap. Coworkers would gape in amazement. Friends would be amused and stare. Your husband would have to eat an energy bar just keep up with you. They’d be thrilled with your performance at work and the way your kitchen sparkled.

But my guess is that sooner or later they’d question the Crayola scribbles in the hallway, the grass strains on the knees of your best pants suites, and the distracting way you’d have of jumping up and down, blowing spit bubbles or sticking your chewing gum under your desk whenever someone was trying to get your attention.

So! Maybe we don’t really want all the energy of a kid. Still, maybe we can pick up a few pointers from the little people in our lives. Kids have such vitality. Such zest for life. They posses wild imaginations, boundless energy, and limitless passion. These are things I miss from my youth. I don’t know about you, but I would love to recapture some of the youthful zeal that characterized my life before grown-up responsibilities, problems, and anxieties started.

What secrets do kids have to share about youthful living(at any age)? What wisdom can we glean from their zestful ways? 

Lets find out. A smile a minute. A study recently revealed that children, on average, laugh four hundred times a day. Wow! isn’t that awesome? 

The same study revealed that adults laugh about fifteen times in a day. That’s not very awesome is it?

That means that our children and grandchildren are  finding something to laugh about almost every other minute.  You and I, on the other hand, are lucky if we chuckle once each waking hour. You think we might be onto something here? Do you want to feel younger? Laugh. Here are a couple of ideas that might help us to be mindful to laugh more. Write down things that make you laugh.  Is there a certain movie that tickles your fancy?  Or a humorous writer?   How about a favorite cartoonist? 

The other suggestion is to, at some point in your day, find a way to incorporate extra laughter into your day. I don’t know about you but, when I want more laughter in my life I read The Cat In The Hat books to my grandson’s and before I turn the first page we are laughing.

I still laugh when I watch some of the old black and white cartoons that I grew up watching. Sometimes watching reruns of my favorite sit coms on T.V. will get me laughing too. The third idea is well… a little zany. But I promise you wouldn’t regret trying it.

 As kids, my friends and I had this game. We would start laughing for no reason. One of us would begin the game by forcing a laugh. Not a ” ha ha ha“, mind you, but a “ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…” The person who starts the game is merely saying the word “ha” over and over. It sounds artificial and impotent. Then as the laughter begins you will feel the urge to apply some stomach muscles. You wouldn’t be laughing uncontrollably but it’s a pretty good imitation. It’s starting to coming from the gut. It sounds convincing. Usually with in a few minutes things will be in full swing and before you know it your eyes will become watery, you will experience belly laughs, giggles, and even aching ribs.

Before you know it you’ll be pinked-checked from giggling, guffawing, and gasping for air between round of laughter. We use to laugh ourselves into a state of genuine, uncontrolled, urgent  and howling hilarity. My laughing buddies are  my grandchildren if you don’t have any borrow one from a neighbor and ” ha ha ha ha ha ha” until you see stars or almost need CPR, which ever comes first.

Sometimes you wouldn’t have any idea why your laughing, But you’ll be glade that you are. If none of these suggestions work for you try putting a pillow case over head while jumping up and down on your bed I know that’s just zany isn’t it? Just laugh…

A Little Kid Humor

Posted in Chidren, grandkids, Grandparenting, Humor, Life, Parenting by

 Kids are taking over the world and I’m not talking about all the doctors, policemen, politicians, and attorneys who seem to be getting younger and younger every year. I’m talking about children. Real children.

More specifically, toddlers they could be your nieces and nephews, your grandchildren, your neighbor’s kids, or in some cases, even your own children.

  Sure, they seem innocent enough sitting there in their car seats or on the floor playing quietly with their toys but it’s all a ruse.

They have an agenda, they’re committed, and they’ve outsmarted us for years. Everything they do is to advance their plan to take over the world, and its time someone blew their cover. First, I’m not sure how they did it , but somehow these little kids have managed to take control of our television set. Instead of watching our favorite news programs or the History Channel, we find ourselves caving in to their desires and watching kids programs for hours on end with them. 

Granted we do get involved in their T.V. programs and sometimes even catch ourselves laughing out loud with the kids.

 I have to admit that I find myself watching “The Cat In The Hat” with out the kids.

I wonder, has anyone ever played these children’s shows theme songs backward to see if they’re sending subliminal messages to the adult world?  Messages like: “you will let me play ball in the house” “You will take me to Chuch E. Cheese’s”. “You will give me an advance on my inheritance.” “You’ll let me braid your hair in little braids and paint your toenails fluorescent pink.”

Phase two apparently happened while many of us middle-agers were taking naps. These innocent-looking children somehow convinced pharmaceutical companies of the need for our medicine bottles to come with childprood caps. Caps, I might add, that only children can open. Now on the surface, childproofing medicine bottle probably sounded like a great idea, and I do not doubt for a minute that the staff at the FDA had plenty of reputable facts to convince the agency to jump on board with the seemingly beneficial plan.

But the FDA wasn’t looking into the future to see where this action would take us as a society. ” I need my high blood  medication, Lucas,” Nana says. “Can you come over here and open this blasted thing open for me? ” Sure, Nana, as soon as you tell them the password to your safe deposit box.” These children are the same ones who also hide our glasses, car keys, wallets, and the remote control, and then merely giggle, clam up, or speak gibberish when we try to interrogate them about the missing items. “Where are my keys, Lucas?” “Algagoa.” Come on, Lucas, tell Nana where you put them.” “Dimofogu.” gibberish, gibberish, gibberish is all they will say.

Their resistance to these inquisitions would impress military experts worldwide. Both the FBI and CIA have tried to decipher their secret code, but it’s unbreakable. We’re headed for trouble, people. Just think about it who gets the power seat at the dinner table? The high chair? (see even the name sounds commanding.)  Who’s responsible for that incessant pounding on the metal trays the would make even the toughest grandparent shout out every password to every account they’ve ever owned? These toddlers, that’s who.

Remember the good ol’ days when children used to be at the mercy of adults when it came to their mobility? They either rode in a stroller or we carried them. That, too has changed. These days, kids have their own battery-operated cars to putt around in. They’re eighteen months old, and they’re already know how to drive. What’s worse, we’re probably the ones they persuaded to buy these vehicles for them.

Which brings me to their incredible business sense these youngsters are nothing short of financial geniuses. Think about it. They come to our homes selling candy for their schools and youth organizations, then they return on Halloween and take it all back! Has anyone done the math on this?

I’m telling you their hostile takeover has been planned right under our noses and we’ve been too blinded by their cuteness to see it. They’ve been holding high-level security meetings in play groups all over the world. Sure, it all looks like innocent play to us, but it isn’t. It’s their version of Camp David. Why do you think there is always a child who holds that ear-piercing, high-pitched scream? You think it’s a tantrum? I used to think that, too.

These toddlers have their own cell phones, computers, play houses, tents, and emergency vehicles. What do they need us big people for? They’ve got almost everything required to run the world on their own. Except they may need someone to change their diapers or find their pull ups.

The most amazing thing about this is how these little ones have managed to get us to run their publicity campaigns for them, and we’ve been doing it pro bono. “You want to see some pictures of the most beautiful grandchild on earth?”  “You think she’s beautiful, look at these pictures of my grandchildren.”

 All things considered maybe we’re just getting what we deserve after all these little ones have outsmarted us for years, manipulating us with their cute smiles and endearing hugs, while we’ve merely sat by and allowed it all to happen. But it’s not too late no matter how cute they are we cannot continue to roll over and let these kids take over. We can’t bury our heads and pretend we don’t know what they’re up to. It’s time we let them know once and for all whose is in charge here! It’s time we…

Sorry I had more to say but my grandson Jesse just gave me a hug and took off with my glasses and won’t give them back, so I can’t see the keys on my keyboard.  And so the conspiracy continues…

 

Language Can Create Reality

Posted in Chidren, Life, Love, relationships, Uncategorized by

Language is a very powerful instrument. What we utter is what we believe or expect, and if we say it enough, in time what we speak becomes true. What we say, and what we hear others say, has the power to sculp our experience, our view of ourselves.

 One form of emotional healing comes form the precise use of language, words you speak and words that are spoken to you. Because of this, an intimate relationship and the verbal exchange intrinsic to it have a greater capacity than almost anything else in the world to heal us of deep emotional wounds.

Words spoken to us by our loved ones truly have the capacity to heal our memories and deeply imprinted pains and to recreate our sense of ourselves and of the world. This means that the negative words that shape your early consciousness and/ or your perception of yourself. “Your Ugly”; You can’t have that; we’re too poor”; ” You never pay attention”; “Why can’t you keep your mouth shout”?  Can actually be revised, corrected, and dispelled through the careful use of language.

Brad had been endlessly yelled at for how he behaved at school, told what a mess he made of his school work, punished for being late, and criticized for getting Cs. No body had ever bothered to note his intuitive genius, the extraordinary function of his mind. Years of ravaged self-esteem began to be healed for Brad the day his sweetheart first told him he was intelligent.

You’re brilliant, she said. I just love the way your mind works. The minute she said that something inside me started to shift, he told me later. I began to believe I wasn’t stupid. The more she said it, the more I was able to believe her. The more she said it, the more I noticed that other people sometimes said similar things. In time, her words changed how I felt about myself entirely.” Brad considered himself a lucky man to marry a gal who really valued his mind and always had a kind word to say.

Brads story shows us that language does have the power to change reality. Therefore, treat  your words as the mighty instruments they are. Use them to heal, to bring into being, to remove, as if by magic, the terrible violations of childhood, to nurture, to cherish, to bless, to forgive, to create from your heart, true love.

The History of Cup Cakes

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, History, Life, The History of Cup Cakes, Women by

If you’re a cup cake baker extraordinaire like I am? Then you will enjoy reading about the history of cup cakes. When my daughter was three years old we started going to a french bakery. The Baker would come over and say, “Bonjour” to her and she would say “Bonjour” back to him. It’s always so sweet when little girls say “Bonjour” isn’t it?  Then he would offer her a taste of one of his scrumptious desserts but she would shake her head as to say “no” and ask him for a cup cake please!  As time went by she had tasted every kind of cup cake the baker could think to make. If she liked it he would make it the cup cake of the week. As a result he came up with  many creative ways to decorate the cup cakes and his cup cake sales increased by fifty percent.

 I became inspired and learned how bake and decorate cup cakes like the ones he baked at the bakery. I can honestly say that If there’s a way to decorate a cup cake I have tried it. Sometimes they turned out perfect and other times they ended up in the trash but it didn’t matter because I always had one fan who didn’t care if the cup cakes turned out the way I wanted them to or not she would eat them.  If you are a cup cake extraordinaire or just enjoy eating cup cakes. 

 “The History of Cup Cakes“

A cupcake (also British English: Fairy Cake; Australian English: Patty cake or Cup Cake is a small cake designed to serve one person, often baked in a small, thin paper or aluminum cup. As with larger cakes, frosting and other cake decorations, such as sprinkles, are common on cupcakes.

Although their origin is unknown, recipes for cupcakes have been printed since at least the late 12th century. The first mention of the cupcake can be traced as far back as 1796, when a recipe notation of  “a cake baked in small cups” was written in American Cookery by Amelia Simms. The earliest documentation of the term cupcakes was in ” Seventy-five Receipts for Pastry , Cakes and Sweetmeats” in 1828 in Eliza Receipts cookbook.

In the early 19th century, there were two different uses for the name cup cake or cupcake. In previous centuries, before muffin tins were widely available, the cakes were often baked in individual pottery cups, ramekins, or mold and took their name from the cups they were baked in. This is the use of  the name that has persisted, and the name of  “cupcake” is now giving to any small cake that is about the size of a teacup.

 The name “Fairy Cake” is a fanciful description of its size, which would be appropriate for a party of diminutive fairies to share. While English fairy cakes vary in size more than American cupcakes, they are traditionally smaller and are rarely topped with elaborate icing.

The other kind of “cup cake” referred to a cake whose ingredients were measured by volume, using a standard-sized cup could also be baked in cups; however, they were  commonly baked in tins as layers or loaves. In later years, when the use of volume measurements was firmly established in home kitchens, these recipes became known as 1, 2, 3, 4 cakes or quarter cakes so-called because they are made of four ingredients: one cup of butter, two cups of sugar, three cups of flour, and four eggs. They are plain yellow cakes, somewhat less rich and less expensive than pound cake, due to using about half as much butter and eggs compared to pound cakes. The names of these two major classes of cakes were intended to signal the method to the baker; “Cup Cake” uses a volume measurement, and “Pound Cake” uses a volume measurement , and “Pound Cake” uses a weight measurement.

In the early 21st century, a trend for cupcake shops was reported in the United States, playing off of the sense of nostalgia evoked by the cakes. In New York, cupcake shops like Magnolia Bakery gained publicity in their appearances on poplar television shows. In 2010 television presenter Martha Stewart published a cook book dedicated to cup cakes.

Cupcakes have become  more than a trend over the years; they’ve become an industry. Rachel Kramer Bussel, who has blogged about cupcakes since 2004 at Cupcakes Take the Cake, said that in the last two years or so cupcakes have become popular nationwide.

A “cake in a mug” is a variant that gained popularity on many internet cooking forums and mailing lists. The technique uses a mug as its cooking vessel and can be done in a microwave oven. The recipe often takes fewer than five minutes to prepare.

After I read the history of cup cakes  I wonder did I miss my calling? Should I have become a cup cake extraordinaire baker? No! I don’t think so. I was happy to just bake cup cakes for my family. However I am looking forward to eating cup cakes with my grandchildren in the future.

Moms and Dads Are Raising Great Kids!

Posted in Chidren, family, Family Values, generational changes, grandkids, Grandparenting, relationships by

Do moms really read parenting books?  Of course they do they’ve probably read dozens especially when their first baby was born. Have those books been helpful? Yes. In some cases the information about childcare development and medical health issues is very practical and often comforting.

But frankly, reading book after book hasn’t reduced the amount of guilt, stress, and mania among mothers around us. In fact it may have increased it.

There have been just too many parenting books by too many authors who call themselves experts. The net result has been confusion, and mothers who still doubt themselves and worry that their children aren’t thriving.

When researching parenting books make sure that the author has children and is actively involved in their children’s day-to-day lives. It’s not too much to ask of authors of books on parenting to have hands on experience and education about parenting. That is the best. Isn’t it?  There are some solid parenting principles that have been around for decades but all to often forgotten. There are parenting books that simply remind us all the basics. What has always been natural, instinctive, and intuitive for real mothering. Unfortunately, these core principles have been obliterated by the frenzy and mania of commercialized parenting. But now it’s time to get back, get real, and restore the simple truth about mothering: That its foundation is the powerful and unconditional love and connection that ultimately lasts for always. 

  So trust yourself and those maternal instincts no one knows your child better that you. Don’t forget to relax, enjoy the moment, and remember to laugh. I know! You’re thinking that’s easer said than done. Yes, it is but it works!

Working Women

Posted in Chidren, family, generational changes, grandkids, Life, Moms, relationships, Women by

Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common they work in the same office, have the same duties and earn the same salary.

They both like movies and meet every friday night at the movie theater. So how can you tell which one is the grandmother?

Easy! The one who goes to the store on her lunch hour, calls to see if the baby vomited, and rushes to take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to her son because he forgot his lunch. She’s the mother.

The one in the darling little dress with matching accessories and is perfectly manicured, the one who sits and orders a salad and a glass of wine while unfolding those endless pictures of adorable kids, she’s the grandmother.

 Can you see how nothing separates the generations like lunch?  Mothers are the ones gobbling down their food, while checking their bank balance on their cell phones. They are the ones using their techie gadgets to keep track of all their responsibilities. Grandmothers are the ones who wait in line at the best restaurants for the best tables.

They care about staying away from fattening foods and sometimes they’ll order off the low-calorie menu or ask the chef to leave this and that off their plate. But on other days when they go for it, on days when they say, Why not? Let’s live a little,” and have things like crème brûlée for dessert with a liqueur. On those days they just breathe a little deeper and rush off to fancy gyms, where for the price of nursery school tuition, they roll back into shape with the help of their personal trainers.

Mothers on the other hand after splurging on a double helping of chocolate chipcookies get back in shape by following exercise videos at home. Grandmothers at lunch discuss the accomplishments of their children and what to buy their grandchildren. A mother’s idea of a relaxing lunch is to turn their cell phone off, drive through and order fast food and enjoy their me time. Elizabeth and Julie have a lot in common except for how they spend their lunch hour. However Julie the grandmother, remembers how she spent her lunch hour when she was a young mom. She enjoys providing a listening ear for Elizabeth, just not at lunch.

Neverland

Posted in Chidren, Dreams, Family Values, Life, relationships by

The clock struck twelve and my third-grade class-mates and I ran from our desks and out the door. It was recess the best part of the day that we all looked forward to.

 My friend Billy and I hit the playground, we ran to the farthest part of the play ground because no one played there.  If they wanted to play basketball or kickball they would play in the area close to the drinking fountain. When we weren’t playing on the courts we could be found on the swings or monkey bars.

Billy and I pretended that we were in different places, like the Jungle, the Desert, or in the Ocean. One day we decided to play Peter Pan. “All right, here is where “Wendy” lives,” I said, pointing to a four-square section of the court. “And Peter Pan will live near that basketball hoop.” Billy liked my idea and we started to make up our game.

“Peter will be in trouble, so Wendy has to come in the middle of the night and save him,” Billy told me. “That sounds good… I think I’m going to be Tinkerbell.” I said, Suddenly Billy looked at me. ” But I want to be Tinkerbell today.  He complained. I told him that I had thought of the idea first, he still whined. “Come on, Billy you can be Tinkerbell tomorrow,” I said, hoping he would drop it. “No! I’m going to be Tinker Bell today. It’s only fair”, he yelled. “How fair is that?” I asked. “It just is!” I sighed. This fight was going nowhere. “Okay,” I said,” either I get to be Tinkerbell, or we won’t play this game at all.”

 Billy yelled at me that’s a stupid idea I guess that’s how girls with portuguese names are then he walked away. I stared at him as he walk toward the swings. I wondered what happened?  What does me being portuguese have to do with the both of us wanting to be Tinkerbell?  Up to that point I thought I was like everyone else. I knew that it really didn’t mean anything but it still wasn’t right or a nice thing to say. Just then the teachers blew their whistles, and recess was over. I told the teacher that Billy and I had gotten into a fight and she let us talk outside the classroom.

 Talking to him didn’t seem to make a difference he didn’t seem to care that he had hurt my feelings. I didn’t know how much it had hurt until I realized I was yelling at him. I stopped and told him I was sorry. “It’s okay. What I said was rude and I shouldn’t have said it. I guess I’m the one that’s sorry,” he said. “Thank you, I whispered. “No problem. And I promise never to make fun of your last name again. Do you forgive me?” he asked. “Of course, I forgive you! I laughed as we held hands while walking back into the classroom.

Once a year Billy and I would go to Disneyland with his family. Billy and I continued to pretended he was Peter Pan and I was Tinkerbell even if we were to old to. Billy and I stayed best friends until high school then we went to different schools and eventually drifted apart. 

I never forgot him or that he never insulted me again just as he promised. I always wondered who told Billy that I my last name was a portuguese name and that made me different from him? It’s obvious that an eight year old boy wouldn’t know something like that? Isn’t it? How did I know it was wrong of him or anyone to make fun of my name?

Toddler or Seuss Landing?

Posted in Babies, Chidren, family, Family Values, grandkids, Grandparenting, Life, Moms by

Sometimes living with a toddler can seem like you are living in Seuss Landing?  We all know how exhausting a toddler can be for both parents and grandparents. One of the best things you can do for your children is pinch hit when they need it and your schedule permits. Of course, you’ll also have to be in pretty good shape to hold your own with an active child. Don’t be discouraged if your grandchild balks initially at being separated from her parents. Sometimes this will happen even if you are a regular visitor.

 One of the most important lessons that your grandchild learns during this period is autonomy. She becomes aware of herself as a separate person who want to do things for herself. The toddler demonstrates her autonomy and her desire for more of it by mastering her own body, including walking, climbing, jumping and grabbing things and letting them go. She learns to control her bodily functions. 

 Toilet training is another of those areas that can drive parents nuts. Unfortunately, there always seem to be good reasons for parents to begin toilet training that have nothing to do with the child. In the nineteenth and early twentieth century, toilet training wa begun very early, not only because there were no washing machines or disposable diapers, but also because it was believed that regularity was important to good health. In 1914, The U. S. Children’s Bureau recommended that toilet training begin at three months or earlier!  Though hardly anyone would suggest starting this early today, more and more parents feel pressured because they are sending their kids to day-care facilities that only accept children who are already out of diapers.

Remember to maintain some perspective and a good sense of humor. Also remember that everyone seems to get the hang of toilet training by the time they move on to other challenges, such as getting a driver’s license, taking college entrance exams, or getting married!

The toddler’s search for autonomy is enshrined in the fold wisdom concept of the terrible twos. Unlike the infant who expresses her discomfort by crying, the toddle makes her feeling felt far more directly. Since the child is now  verbal, she can object with a resounding “NO” to your suggestions. Since she is mobile, she can walk or run away when you call her or tell her to do something. For example, you may be trying to get home by a certain hour and you want her to sit in her stroller so you can  get there as quickly as possible. She wants to walk and tells you so. You try to put her in her stroller and she tries to wiggle out as you try to buckle her in. It can just drive you crazy!

Although such behavior can try the patience of the most saintly mother or grandmother, it is important to appreciate such words and behavior for what they are: natural assertions of your childs or grandchild autonomy. And they do pass! Don’t worry they move up to preschooler status. One of the most important things we can do with our grandchildren during the preschool years is play. Play does not begin with the preschooler, of course; it starts earlier, and ideally it should be a lifelong activity. But there ar a few reasons for giving it special attention at this point in the child’s development. In earlier generations going to college was a significant achievement and getting into a good school was an important part of children’s high school experiences, today parents want to be sure that their children get into the right preschool, kindergarten, or elementary school.

 Toy and game manufacturers have been quick to capitalize on this enthusiasm by developing specifically educational toys and slapping the label “educational” on almost anything they produce in the hope it will attract more buyers. It is certainly not my intention to criticise products or activities that prepare children for school. I am an enthusiastic supporter of any program that promotes education by strengthening families and increasing the involvement of parents in their children’s lives.

However, it seems that parents and grandparents can get so involved in preparing children for formal school that they often forget just how valuable play is in this preparation.

 More than once I’ve been introduced to someone’s precocious child or grandchild who has already been taught to read or do math or who has memorized the state capitals. Whether we’re talking about formal games with specific rules to be learned and followed, competitive games with winners and losers, or just fooling around by dressing up and pretending, never underestimate the importance of play!